Morbid Angel
Баба Яга
XWF FanBase:
Very random
(heel alignment but liked by many; has earned respect despite breaking the rules often)
XWF Roster Page
Joined: Sat Nov 23 2013
Posts: 838
443,288
Likes Given: 523
Likes Received: 688 in 355 posts
Hates Given: 50
Hates Received: 46 in 40 posts
Hates Given: 50
Hates Received: 46 in 40 posts
Reputation:
62
X-Bux: ✘50,000
|
12-22-2013, 10:24 PM
http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=8938&pid=39835#pid39835
I think I read that roleplay 6 times and I am just not happy with it as the first half. I could have done better. Help rip it apart so I can fix whatever is fucking me up lol
|
|
|
|
![[-]](https://xwf99.com/images/portal2/collapse.gif)
|
|
John Austin
Grizzled Young Vet
WWW
XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone
(cheered; very rarely plays dirty; many likable qualities)
XWF Roster Page
Joined: Mon May 13 2013
Posts: 502
170,406
Likes Given: 623
Likes Received: 523 in 264 posts
Hates Given: 17
Hates Received: 8 in 8 posts
Hates Given: 17
Hates Received: 8 in 8 posts
Reputation:
96
X-Bux: ✘50,000
|
12-23-2013, 01:00 PM
What I am really seeing wrong and what is probably throwing u into a loop is there is not enough spaces with some of your paragraphs. Like where you have Steve Sayors coming into the picture, that whole long paragraph could have been spaced out more.
Also maybe there is no color as well, I know it was a little harder for me to read cause there was no color but maybe that's your thing, just my pet peeve..
Overall I enjoyed it 
To find John, turn those lights out because he will then appear...
XWF LEGEND and the only man who punked out Duke TWICE
|
|
|
|
|
|
