Please Login or Register to get full access to the forums.

Lost Password? —
Current time: 09-12-2025, 06:30 PM (time should display as Pacific time zone; please contact Admin if it appears to be wrong)                                                                


X-treme Wrestling Federation » XWF OOC » Out Of Character (OOC) Board
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Feedback wanted! Steve Davids Return RP
Author Message
Vincent Lane Offline
Rock n' Rolling XWF Owner and Megastar
*********
Administrators


XWF FanBase:
(.Awaiting user update)
 (Where is my roster page?)
Joined: Fri Jul 18 2014
Posts: 2,704
1,138,483
Likes Given: 2,922
Likes Received: 2,291 in 1,046 posts
Hates Given: 29
Hates Received: 107 in 100 posts
Hates Given: 29
Hates Received: 107 in 100 posts
Reputation: 0
X-Bux: ✘50,000
#6
04-13-2017, 11:36 AM

(04-13-2017, 10:52 AM)DannyImperial Said: The story building is great, I think it's a great return promo considering I know nothing about your character. Gave me a little insight into his history.

I'm not sure how your character used to be, so do forgive me if I jump to assumptions, but I've realised a lot of the guys here have little quirks that make their character dialogue unique. Be it the curse words they use, the sentence structure etc, I feel like the dialogue coming out of Davids was a little generic, nothing there popped out and hit me you know?

But I mean, that's me trying hard and digging deep to find something to critique. I had a lot of fun reading through it, some incredible work there, welcome back.


I think this is great feedback for ANY roleplayer. Something that really follows through on the writing concept of 'show, don't tell.' You can get a lot across with a character just by the way he speaks or behaves, which allows you to not have to just spell it out in exposition, which can bog down and take up space.

Something to keep in mind for everyone.
Hate Post Like Post
[-] The following 1 user Likes Vincent Lane's post:
Imperial (04-13-2017)


Messages In This Thread
re:Steve Davids Return RP - by Drake - 04-13-2017, 03:47 AM
Steve Davids Return RP - by Dolly Waters - 04-13-2017, 03:51 AM
Steve Davids Return RP - by Imperial - 04-13-2017, 10:52 AM
re:Steve Davids Return RP - by Vincent Lane - 04-13-2017, 11:36 AM
Steve Davids Return RP - by Tommy Gunn - 04-13-2017, 12:15 PM
Steve Davids Return RP - by Tommy Gunn - 04-13-2017, 01:54 PM
Steve Davids Return RP - by Tommy Gunn - 04-13-2017, 02:31 PM



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)