X-treme Wrestling Federation
Feedback Request: Steve Davids Return RP - Printable Version

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+--- Thread: Feedback Request: Steve Davids Return RP (/showthread.php?tid=27249)

Steve Davids Return RP - Steve "KingSlayer" Davids - 04-13-2017

http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=27188

My comeback RP, constructive feedback wanted, please be kind, I'm a rusty trombone.

re:Steve Davids Return RP - Drake - 04-13-2017

Dude, this is great. Very well done I must say. Dat cliffhanger dough. Well done, in my opinion, an RP of the month candidate. Welcome BACK!

Steve Davids Return RP - Dolly Waters - 04-13-2017

I wanted to see more promo. But I really enjoyed it- glad you're back.

Steve Davids Return RP - Steve "KingSlayer" Davids - 04-13-2017

Thanks guys, means a lot. Sorry Dolly, there'll me more where that came from.

Steve Davids Return RP - Imperial - 04-13-2017

The story building is great, I think it's a great return promo considering I know nothing about your character. Gave me a little insight into his history.

I'm not sure how your character used to be, so do forgive me if I jump to assumptions, but I've realised a lot of the guys here have little quirks that make their character dialogue unique. Be it the curse words they use, the sentence structure etc, I feel like the dialogue coming out of Davids was a little generic, nothing there popped out and hit me you know?

But I mean, that's me trying hard and digging deep to find something to critique. I had a lot of fun reading through it, some incredible work there, welcome back.

re:Steve Davids Return RP - Vincent Lane - 04-13-2017

(04-13-2017, 10:52 AM)DannyImperial Said: The story building is great, I think it's a great return promo considering I know nothing about your character. Gave me a little insight into his history.

I'm not sure how your character used to be, so do forgive me if I jump to assumptions, but I've realised a lot of the guys here have little quirks that make their character dialogue unique. Be it the curse words they use, the sentence structure etc, I feel like the dialogue coming out of Davids was a little generic, nothing there popped out and hit me you know?

But I mean, that's me trying hard and digging deep to find something to critique. I had a lot of fun reading through it, some incredible work there, welcome back.


I think this is great feedback for ANY roleplayer. Something that really follows through on the writing concept of 'show, don't tell.' You can get a lot across with a character just by the way he speaks or behaves, which allows you to not have to just spell it out in exposition, which can bog down and take up space.

Something to keep in mind for everyone.

Steve Davids Return RP - Tommy Gunn - 04-13-2017

This was a great return RP man. I really missed the Davids character but there was one thing missing from it.

Where was all the gay sex?

I remember in your older rps Davids used to take dicks two and three at a time.

Dicks errwhere.

#MakeDavidsGayAgain

re:Steve Davids Return RP - Steve "KingSlayer" Davids - 04-13-2017

(04-13-2017, 10:52 AM)DannyImperial Said: The story building is great, I think it's a great return promo considering I know nothing about your character. Gave me a little insight into his history.

I'm not sure how your character used to be, so do forgive me if I jump to assumptions, but I've realised a lot of the guys here have little quirks that make their character dialogue unique. Be it the curse words they use, the sentence structure etc, I feel like the dialogue coming out of Davids was a little generic, nothing there popped out and hit me you know?

But I mean, that's me trying hard and digging deep to find something to critique. I had a lot of fun reading through it, some incredible work there, welcome back.

Thanks Danny, I'll take that on board. I guess I take for granted that people will assume Davids is a husky talking Brit and that doesn't come across enough in my writing. I'll work on it.

Thanks everyone for the feedback, it's much appreciated.

Steve Davids Return RP - Tommy Gunn - 04-13-2017

What about my feedback? I feel like mine was extremely insightful and really hit the nail on the head.

re:Steve Davids Return RP - Steve "KingSlayer" Davids - 04-13-2017

(04-13-2017, 01:54 PM)Tommy Gunn Said: What about my feedback? I feel like mine was extremely insightful and really hit the nail on the head.



Uh yeah cheers

Steve Davids Return RP - Tommy Gunn - 04-13-2017

Lets get a beer. And by a beer I mean several. You're buying.