Shane Carvers House
Somewhere in the U.S.A.

Theo Pryce comes flying up the drive way and stops his vehicle about 6 centimeters from a bronze statue of a Potato. They gets out of his vehicle and surveys the home in front of him. In case the bronze statue wasn’t a giant giveaway, Theo is now standing outside of the home that belongs to none other than Black Circle leader and XWF Owner Shane . It’s a nice home a modest home. It doesn’t scream wealthy business men, but it also doesn’t scream loony bin either. Theo reaches into his coat, pulls out a silver Flask, unscrews the top and takes a healthy sized swig of the containers contents. He screws the top back on, places the container back in his coat, takes a deep breath and walks towards the front door of the house. He presses the door bell once, no answer. He presses it again, still no answer. This time he pressed the door bell while knocking on the door, still nothing. He knows that Shane is expecting him so the man should be home, but then again, it is Shane after all and 99% of what he does makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Theo steps back from the door for a second, looks around and then steps up to the door again, this time bypassing the door bell all together and instead reaching for the door knob, much to his delight the door is unlocked. He turns the door knob completely and pushes the door open gentle, allowing momentum to take it the rest of the way. Theo steps into the home and crosses the threshold. Theo is a bit surprised by the interior of the house, though he isn’t entirely sure why as he truly had no idea what to expect. Theo progresses further in the house, shocked at how utterly quiet it is. He yells out Shane’s name a few times but much like his attempts at getting someone to answer the door, there is no reply.

Suddenly Shane rounds the corner, completely bare assed naked except for a potato attached to a string that is dangling from Shane’s …neck. Yeah, let’s go with neck. Shane stops for a second, see’s Theo standing there, looks around and then…


“Potato.”

“What?”

“Potato.”

“What the fuck does that mean Shane?”


Shane looks at Theo for a few seconds, trying to get a read on the man, and then he grabs the potato wrapped around his neck, gives it a good once over and then takes a heaping bite of it, taking in all the starchy goodness.


“Jesus Christ Shane, that potato is rotten.”

“Potato.”

“Yes that Potato. There’s a fucking worm crawling out of it.”


Shane looks over the potato again, sees the worm crawling out of it and rips the string holding the potato off his neck and chucks the potato across the room, the potato disappearing behind a wall. Shane then looks around for a few seconds scratches his head and then squats down, reaches back towards his ass and then makes a face like he is dropping the biggest deuce in the history of deuces and much to Theo’s shock that is exactly what was happening. Except instead of dropping a deuce Shane pulls a potato out of his ass. Literally.


“No Shane, you aren’t going to….”


Shane takes a massive bite out of the potato that just came out of his ass.


“Yep, yeah you are. You are going to eat the potato that you just shit out. That’s fucking lovely.”

“Potato.”

“Shane, stop saying potato. I know you aren’t and are capable of actual speech. Can we talk? Please?”


Shane takes another bite of his potato, looks at Theo and then motions for Theo to join him.


“Tell me Mr. Pryce, what is your favorite type of potato? Do you like them raw? Mashed? Baked? Sweet? Au Gratin? Or perhaps French Fries. Which are not French by the way.”

“I’m not big into the starches boss, unless it’s rice, I like white rice. But if I had to pick one I’d have to go with Garlic Mashed.”

“Excellent choice. How about I whip some up for our talk.”

“As long as the potatoes you use aren’t coming out of your ass than sure.”

“No I assure you these will be fresh. In fact I got them from the corner store down the street just this morning.”

“Lovely.”

“So, what did you want to talk about? And I must say this is highly irregular, meeting here at my home that is. I never conduct business outside of my house.”

“Shane I’m not going to lie, you don’t really conduct a whole lot of business at all. You kind of come and go as you please and when you do show up you do things that I don’t think makes sense to anyone but you.”


Shane lets out a solid belly laugh and then grabs a big knife and starts cutting up his potatoes.


“Yeah I suppose that’s probably true, but it keeps people guessing. You never know what’s going to happen.”

“Speaking of, Luca.”

“What about him?

“Well he turned his back on the Circle, and joined up with Sid Feder of all people.”

“Yes I know all of that.”

“Well what the hell is going to be done about it?”

“Who said anything is going to be done about?”

“No one, that’s why I am asking. You haven’t said word one. John hasn’t said anything. Something has to be done. You are the boss. Make it happen.”

“What would you have me do Mr.Pryce?”

“I have no idea. You are the guy who comes up with things that are completely out of the box. I figured you could come up with something now.”

“Well if this concerns you so much why don’t you take care of it?”

“Because my version of taking care of it would involve that turncoat cunt taking a dirt nap and I figured you wouldn’t want to have to deal with the legalities of all of that.”

“You would be correct. You saw how much shit John had to go through with that whole Matt Ward fiasco. Taking out Luca might be a bit of overkill.”

“So we do nothing?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You haven’t really said anything, except Potato.”

“Potato.”

“Fucking stop that.”

“I’m just messing with you Theo. Lighten up already. Life’s too short to take everything so seriously.”

“Noted. Back to Luca.”

“Leave Luca to me. I have some ideas for him. But even if I decide to do nothing working with that hack Sid Feder is enough of a punishment. Especially after Sid sells you on this grand plan only to pull a David Blaine and disappear in a few weeks and then Luca is left holding his dick in his hand.”

“And yet again the madness in your mind is truly unparalleled.”

“Tis a gift. Now tell me Theo, what is it like being the King? You have some lofty shoes to fill, John was a hell of a King you know.”

“I thought you were going to say a lofty bra…”

“Yeah I guess that would make sense now a days.”

“Yes it would. As for being King it’s been fantastic. I am having a castle built out in London, fully equipped with a moat.”

“Oh really? That sounds fantastic. Will there be potatoes?”

“Uh, sure Shane. There will definitely be potatoes. In fact, I am going to have a room dedicated to potatoes.”

“Really?”

“No Shane, who has a room dedicated to potatoes?”

“I do.”

“Of fucking course you do. I knew it as soon as I said it, I honestly don’t even know why I asked.”

“Because you are a curious man. I like that about you.”

“Actually I think it’s because I’m drunk or high, or both. I never know anymore.”

“Theo Pryce, we can’t have a King with a substance abuse problem.”

“The fuck? Since when does any of that matter?”

“Since always.”

“So were you in a coma during John’s reign or were you balls deep in potatoes?”

“Definitely the latter.”

“Are you sure, because it could be both. They aren’t mutually exclusive.”

“Well now that you think of it…no, no I was definitely balls deep in potatoes, in fact, I was up to my chin in potatoes. Did you know that medical journals are now saying that if you bath with potatoes once a week it helps to keep your skin healthy.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Are you calling me a liar?”

“Would that be more or less hurtful than a loon?”

“Probably more.”

“Ok than let’s go with you being crazy.”

“Oh Theo, you are my kind of guy. Even if you are an arrogant jerkoff with a drug problem.”

“I enjoy drugs, I wouldn’t call that a problem. Not like it prevents me from doing my job.”

“Oh really? If memory serves, you lost your match the other night on Madness didn’t you?”

“Oh that? Please. That was some silly match for the chance to win face Nova for TV titles. I am the King of the XWF, the TV title is a bit below me. Besides, it took me beating down 4 other members of the roster and some asshole holding my leg down for Andrew Morrison to actually pin me. But you know what, I’m not going to cry screw job like some other folks would. It is what it is. This is the XWF and that shit happens. And whoever’s hand that was, they will get theirs.”

"Our very own Space Man currently holds the TV title, are you saying he is beneath you?"

"What am I Zak Castile? No he's not beneath me, but the title is. He's had that title in a vice grip but I am sure Nova has grander plans than the TV title. "

“I like your spirit Theo. Come, have some garlic mashed potatoes. Care for a beer?”

“Do you think maybe you could put some clothes on before we eat? I am sort of against eating meals with naked men. It’s a pet peeve of mine.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”


Fade to black.