It had been a while sense Christine had go to see the kids or even to see Matt. She was very nervous. She didn't know what to expect out of her or out of him and the kids. All she knew was her own flesh and blood was mad at her cause of all this. And that alone broke her heart. She had been trying to get ready to go when she broke down. John walks up behind her and puts his arms around her kissing her neck.

John: Shh it will be ok.

Christine: I hope your right. I have to admit I am alittle scared at how they might react. I mean... I deserted them. I ran out trying to protect them and Matt... and... And I doubt they will understand. They are probably all bitter and hate me. I already know my son does. My sister told me so. But baby, will you promise me one thing?

John: What is it babe?

Christine: If she comes out... please... hold me back... get me out of there... anything you have to do. I don't want her to hurt the kids or even Matt. Please. I beg you baby. Please...

He puts a finger to her lips and smiles before leaning in to kiss her.

John: You have my word.

She smiles and kisses him as she could feel the herself relax as his touch. They finish getting ready and Garfield comes up and starts rubbing Christine's leg.

Christine: OK, you can come too.

She picks up the cat and they head out to the car. Christine knew Matt was going to be moving but had yet as his new house wasn't finished so she directed John to the old one. They pull in the driveway and Christine looks at the house for a moment.

John: You ok hun?

She has tears forming as she stares a few moments before looking at him nodding.

John: You sure you want to do this here?

Christine: Yes. I need to do this. I need to work thru this. I need to do this for them and me and us.

He wipes her eyes and gives her a kiss before they get out of the car and walk to the house with Garfield in tow. She knocks on the door and looks at John with a nervious look.

I head the door bell ring as i go open the door then to let Christine, and John in then i start to speak.

Matt Ward What did you get your self a pet?

Christine Nash No this is John's cat Garfield

Matt Ward You gotta be kidding me, you really didn't named your cat Garfield, what you trying to be like the comic strip.

John nods as we walk into the living room while the kids were in their room doing their homework while Jewel brings them out as all but one came out when i start to speak.

Matt Ward Let me guess he doesn't want to see her?

Jewel Tyler Yeah hunny, he heard she was coming he ran to his room and locked the door.

While the other kids went to go to Christine, while i go get the stubborn one, when i get to his room i unlock the door while he is hiding under the covers when i start to speak.

Matt Ward Scott Andrew Ward you need to get from under the covers and you need to come out to the living room and see your mother.

Scott Ward I don't want to, she is a bad person now, she is not the same mommy she was when she was with you.

Matt Ward It doesn't matter son she is still your mother weather you like it or not, i know that she is not with me but she still loves you son.

Just as i said that Christine walked into the room where she starts to speak

Christine: Scotty?

Scott: Go away.

Christine: Please talk to me. Look I know you are mad. You have that right... but I came here to see you and all the kids. Baby... I love you and that won't change no matter if I am with Matt or with John. But there is a reason I am not with Matt and I know you don't understand.

She walks over sitting on the bed as she looks over at Matt then quickly to the ground.

Christine: Scotty... you remember when I talked to you about your birth dad and the monster he was?

Scott nods.

Christine: Well What I am doing it protecting you and your brothers and sisters from me. You know mom and dad have monsters in us. Well the one in me... it don't like daddy. She wants to hurt him. So mommy... baby, I am trying to protect you all by not being here all the time. Yes I am going to come see you like I did today. And I brought visitors. I brought a new friend and his pet cat Garfield. Hun... I am not trying to take you from daddy. I am not trying to hurt you althou I know I have... but trust me. Mommy has always protected you.

Scott: I know but...

She looks over at Matt.

Christine: If he don't want to... don't force him.

She turns to walk out and a look of pain and disappointment on her face as she heands back downstairs. She tries to hide the tears in her eyes as she goes over and introduces John and Garfield to the other kids and then talks with Abbey a while.

I am looking at Scott then i start to speak.

Matt Ward Son, you need to go downstairs because you will get to meet your mommy's boyfriend pet cat.

Scott looks at me as he gets out of bed as we go downstairs where the rest of the kids are while the kids are playing with Garfield while i go sit down in my chair as Scott sits on my lap while i see addy starting to sneeze then i start to speak

Matt Ward John has something like this happen when people first meet your cat or do you think she could be allergic to him?

John looks at me while i am worried about addy sneezing with being by the cat as he begins to speak.

Addy stands back a little and nods. She wasn't sure what to make of this man, but the soon to be three year old look up at him and gives him a smile.

Christine: She's shy. But she will come around. This is my soon to be little birthday girl.

Christine kneels down and Addy runs to her.

Christine: Can you tell John how old you will be?

She holds up 3 fingers.

Christine: That's right baby.

Scott: Can I go now?

Christine looks up at Scott and then hangs her head. She puts Addy down and then walks into the other room. Her heart was breaking hearing her first born talk like that. But the 6 yr old had all rights to be mad at her. Tears feeled her eyes as he was the only one that truly didn't want to see her. All the rest of the kids was happy Chris was around. She crumbles to the floor and cries.

She looks down has the tears fell.

Christine: Honestly... I expected him to be mad and upset. I just wasn't ready for the pain it would cause. I know he don't understand, and he has been bounced around all his life cause of me. I knew this day would come where he would finally dispise me. It just hurts having your own flesh and blood... my first born... act like this. They all seem to like you pretty well but of course Scotty. I have tried to do everything right for him... and I guess I have done everything wrong.

Just then Abbey come out and goes over to Christine.

Abbey: Mom... are you ok?

Christine: Not yet... but I will be. Thank you hun.

She looks at John.

Abbey: My brother and I know how Scott feels. We lost our mom when we were about his age or so. Christine has taken us in as hers and loved us when she didn't have too. I hate to see her like this.

Christine: Come here Abbey.

She gives her a hug.

Christine: Your growing up to be a beautiful young lady. I am very proud of you. Will you promise me you will help Jewel take care of the others. And I promise to come see you all and spend time with you all... that is is Scotty will let me.

Abbey: Daddy will talk to him. I know he will come around. All Jamie and I had was daddy for a long time just as Scott just had you. Now I think he is just scared and hurt.

Christine: Do you understand why I am doing this?

Abbey nods.

Abbey: I remember when Dad's monster came out. It was scary and I know you are trying to protect us from yours. I respect you mom for doing that. I know if I need you... all I have to do is call.

Christine smiles.

Christine: Exactly hun. I will still be here for you all. I just can't stay here. And John... you can trust him. He is a really nice guys and he helped me when I couldn't help myself. He has been here for me when I was scared and didn't know where to turn. And... he has helped me keep the monster way. Trust me... I know me looking at your dad... it makes her angry cause she can't let go of what he did. But hun... I still care about your dad and I want to see him happy and I want to protect him so nothing else happens.

Abbey: I know. I love you mom.

Christine: I love you too. I will be in soon.

Abbey hugs Christine and then hugs John before walking inside. Christine looks at John.

Christine: At least I did one thing right. Well make that two. I fell for a man that has made me special, loved, like I am someone special when I feel like nothing. Thank you John... Thank you baby.

She leans over and gives him a kiss and holds his hand. She looks up at him and smiles as he wipes her tears.

She gives him a smile.

Christine: Lets go in. I think I am ok. I just hope Scotty comes around. It hurts that he hates me so much right now but I will have to live with it. Thank you baby... your sweet to say that. I try my best. Matt did a great job with Jamie and Abbey and I was glad they took to me really easily. I did adopt them after Matt and I married cause I wanted them to have a mom. Now Brooklyn and Caleb... I didn't adopt them. Their mom still comes around for them but they still look at me as a mom.

She looks down a moment.

Christine: But then again... Daisy really isn't fit to raise kids. She can't even take care of herself.

She looks up at him.

Christine: Is there anything you want to ask about them before we go in? I know there is a lot of kids but like I said... 4 are really just Matt's. I only adopted 2 of his.

Matt looks at them as he has been talking to Scotty.

Matt: All better now?

Christine nods.

Christine: Just hurts hearing it. I know I disappointed him. Hell I disappointed you all. I will admit it. I know you had all these plans but do you even realize Matt what I did? It wasn't for me. Yeah, I have moved on and I am happy... but I didn't do it for self gain. I didn't do it cause I like seeing you all in pain and hurt. I didn't do it to stab anyone in the back.

She closed her eyes and takes a deep breath.

Twisted Angel: She did it cause of me. Hello piss Ant.

Christine smacks herself to come out of it.

Christine: I'm sorry... Oh my I didn't mean for her to come out. Not right now.

She turns away from Matt and looks around the room. None of the kids were around at the moment. That made her feel good they didn't see it. But it hurt her that is happened. The one thing she feared... it happened. She takes a deep breath calming down as John walks over to her making sure she was ok. She nods.

Christine: I will be ok.

She sit on the sofa next to John as Jewel bring them some drinks.

Christine: We need to talk about Addy's birthday at the end of the month. I was thinking we could rent a place sense I know your about to move. I know we are going to have all your family there and I know Simon will be there and Sarah and Andrew. So do any of you have a idea?

She looks at the 3 people in the room as she whats to see if they have anything to say.

Jewel looks over at John.

Jewel: It wouldn't be too cold would it?

Christine: My plan is to have it before her birthday cause I know she will want to go trick or treating on her birthday sense she was a Halloween baby.

Jewel: I understand. Just concerned about it being too cold.

Christine: I am too. But if we do it early enough... the weather will still be nice and it wouldn't be a issue.

Jewel nods and looks at Matt who was very quiet before looking at John.

Jewel: You said you life on the beach? Wow that must be nice.

I look at Christine, John, and Jewel then i start to speak.

Matt Ward Why not have a Halloween birthday party theme at a hall since her birthday is on Halloween.

Jewel Tyler Yeah that would be perfect, then that way Amber can surprise your brother, but he saw a picture already.

Christine Nash Who is Amber?

Matt Ward She is a girl that knows Jewel that we are hooking up with Jim since the break up of him and Sarah.

Christine looks at me then she starts to speak

Christine looks over at Matt.

Christine: You know that didn't go down well with Sarah and Jim. It was a nasty break up and they are both touch over it. But Sarah has a new guy. She is engaged to Andrew Morrison.

Christine looks at John then at Matt.

Christine: Sounds good. I will call Simon and Sarah and let them know. You set up the place and I will get the cake. You send me the info and I will pass it on to Simon and Sarah.

I looked at Christine then i start to speak.

Matt Ward Well that good for Sarah, i was thinking that hall that we used for Ryan and Rachel's baptism party for addy party.

Christine Nash Oh that right, where should we get the cake from?

Matt Ward Why not Mr. Cake or Costco

Just then Jim walks up from the gym as he notices Christine but doesn't say anything as he walks into the kitchen to get him a soda as he stays in the kitchen where Christine starts to speak.

Christine: So your brother is living with you? And he don't have to hide... He isn't the one she is angry with unless he hates me like Scotty does.

She looks down.

Christine: Just give me a date... I will have the cake. I think I know where I will go.

I look at Christine then i start to speak

Matt Ward He is in his own world since the breakup, i forced him to live with me so i could keep an eye on him. We need to figure out if there is going to be shows the week of Halloween because then that how we should go about planing this party.

Christine looks at me then she starts to speak

Christine: Date sounds fine... if we are all off. As for Jim I think he will be fine when he finds the right lady.

She looks at John and then back at Matt.

Christine: I am sorry I flipped out earlier. I guess Jim and I both are troubled, are both having issues. Just... different issues. My issue wants to hurt you... and his is he is trying to shut out the world.

She looks down.

Christine: I am fighting with everything in me not to hurt you or anyone. But...

Just then she closes her eyes and curls up in a ball. Jewel looks at Christine and then Matt.

Child: Oh you again. You know... I met nice guy... He was really good. He talk to me and...

She looks around and see John.

Child: Oh you here! YAY... two nice guys here.

She starts rocking and then notices Jewel.

Child: Oh who dat? Is she nice?

I look at the little kid Christine then i start to speak.

Matt Ward Yes she is nice, but come on Christine, i am not mad that she tried to go after me. That what i was expecting.

Christine Nash Are you sure that your not mad Matt?

Matt Ward Yes i am not mad at you.

Just then Jim comes walking in as he starts to speak

I walked into my brother's living room seeing my ex sister in law and my ex girlfriend's sister then I look at Christine then i start to speak.

Jim Ward Come on Chrissy cheer up, don't force us to tell john your ticklish spot Chris.

John looks at us then looks at Christine then she starts to speak.

Christine Nash You wouldn't dare to do that Jim.

Jim Ward Don't try me Christine, i will blurt out your ticklish spot if you don't at least try to smile.

Matt Ward Jim stop, she is not in the mood, yeah we could tell him but we won't

Christine looks at Matt then she looks at me before she starts to speak.

She curls up in a ball and buries her face.

[/b]Child: Bad... mean... you not nice.

Jewel goes over to her and places a hand on Chrstine. She trimbles at the touch.

Jewel: Christine?

She looks at Matt.

Jewel: Is she gonna be ok?

I look at Jewel then i start to speak.

Matt Ward She will be, but she need to snap out of her child like demon. She is not use to Jim making fun of her with this side of her out. if it was normal Christine, she would have gave a snotty response to him. Christine has three different personalities, one that likes me, the second wants to hurt me, and Christine is just a basket case with her emotions. not trying to put you down Christine that was the right word to explain the mixed emotions.

Christine looks at me then she starts to speak.

She looks over at John.

Child: I can't... I not in charge. The mean one... She keeping Chrissy from coming. But me try.

She closes her eyes for what seemed like 10 mins before taking a deep breath and opening. No one was sure who was coming out until she spoke.

Christine: What happened?

Christine shakes her head as she can't control what is happening but before we can reply... Jewel asks a question.

Jewel: Ok... umm... your the first person I have seen do that. And I don't know if these two have ever asked you about that... but do you remember what happens when you flip? Does it hurt?

Christine looks at her.

Christine: It don't hurt... unless Angel comes out and start beating on things. As for remembering... No I don't remember. That is why I asked what happened. I didn't know what took place. What I do know is what happens when I am locked inside. Sometimes I am streaming at whoever is in control... usually Twisted Angel to let me out. Other times I am fighting with her inside while the little girl comes out.

She looks down.

Christine: Not sure if Matt remembers this... but one time I was locked deep within and the Angel wouldn't let me come out. I was screaming to let me out and everything. That is one time... I don't want to repeat. It's hard not to switch infront of the kids. I don't block the child as much as I do the Angel cause she is the one that wants to hurt Matt. She is the one that can't get over the past or what he did. Why... I don't know.

John touches her hand as she gets a little emotional.

While listening to Christine speak memories came into my head as i started to walk away as John looks at me leaving as he is confused as to what is going on while Jim starts to speak. Jim Ward Well i think he still remembers if he is walking away. Christine Nash Oh no please don't tell me he is remembers a certain thing? Jim Ward Yeah he remembers still the time you cheated on him and her breaking his nose. But he is not the one to hold the grudge he is one that get stuck with the memories in his head and they play over and over in his sleep. I walk in after hearing my brother say that then i start to speak. Matt Ward What does it matter if i am stuck with those damn memories, they are just memories that depress me when i am alone, but i guess that what i damn deserve for fucking you over Christine. I start to go downstairs to the gym when i get to the gym i start punching the speed bag while i hear Christine coming down the stairs then i start to speak. Matt Ward I know you are going to apologize again Christine, i told you i forgave you for doing that, your happier now that you got Austin. So i will just hide the memories away to haunt me. Christine looks at me while i continue to punch the speed bag

She keeps a distance as to not let Angel get a chance to take control and hurt Matt. She looks at him and then away.

Christine: Look I know I fucked up your life and you plans... And I have memories that haunt me. I was happy with you, and damn it I do still love and care for you. But I didn't do this to hurt you and I know I did hurt you. I did it to protect you cause I know what she can do. And Damn it Matt... I don't want to see you in a hospital. Hell you don't think I remember the last time I walked away. The time I was hoping you would come after me and stop me and you didn't. You don't think I remember all the times You hurt me by either cheating or running away. I am not trying to make this even or a war on who can hurt who more. I can't control what is going on. If I could... I wouldn't have left but I can't. I didn't make the little girl or the Angel come out. I had no control. If she was to come out... I wouldn't be able to stop her. I don't want you hurt. The kids need you... and hell I might be with someone else... but I still need you.

She sits down and lowers her head.

Christine: I guess me coming here was a bad idea. I guess trying to see the kids and hope to keep peace was just wishful thinking. Scotty hates me and now I guess you do too. So I will just tell John to take me out of here. Sorry I fucked up your life AGAIN! Guess that is all I am good for. Fucking up.

She gets up and starts to head to the stairs. Tears in her eyes.

I look at Christine then i start to speak

Matt Ward I don't hate you Christine, and scotty does not hate you, he hates the situation that he is in because of Angel.

Christine Nash Are you sure you don't hate me?

Matt Ward I am sure Christine, i know you are doing this to protect me, don't you think i didn't stop you from leaving because i was protecting you from me. It was not a bad idea to come here, i know it wasn't your intention to hurt me but it did, just like it wasn't my intention to hurt you with my actions but i still hurt you, there is nothing that i know there is nothing i can do to change angel to stop hurting me.

Christine looks at me then she starts to speak

She looks at him.

Christine: Honestly... I don't know. I have tried... I have argued... I have defended you and still she holds that anger. I can only say that this last one... must have been her breaking point. The demons ripped apart and the connection totally broken beyond repair. Maybe one day she will forgive and forget... if she knows how to forget. But Honestly... I don't know how to fix it.

She sighs and walks closer to Matt even thou she knows the risk.

Christine: To me... you are still family. Not just cause of the kids either. You will always be family. Hell you were their the day she entered me. You were there the day I was found in that closet. You Matt... you will always have a special place and no one... not even a crazied demon and change that. She had peaked out a few times sense I left. She is watching John close and no... she don't trust him yet either. But I guess she is letting this play out to see if he will do the same thing.

She swallows hard as she steps a bit closer.

Christine: The pain is great, and the hurt is deep... wounds heal over time. I know it is hard and we both are going to suffer... but Jewel seems like a nice girl. I think it is good you have her in your life. She seems to have picked up where I left off... trying to protect you and even the kids. But never, ever forget that the real me... I do still care. I do still love you and I always will. But until something changes... it isn't ment to me cause of that damn demon. I am not in the driver's seat anymore. Not like I used to be. John is protecting me. He hasn't let her or anyone else hurt me. And what is so damn hard... I love you both. But I can't risk your life. And Damn that hurts. I can't go to the dr... cause I would be locked away. And that would hurt even worse. I know Scott will forgive me in time. I hope you will too. Please... don't let this destroy you like it has me. Don't let it change you.

She takes a deep breath and gives Matt a hug before pulling away and starting to head back upstairs, hoping before she left he would come back up.

wow that was a shock Christine gives me a hug, i look at her as she goes upstairs as i follow suit. While we were downstairs Jim order pizza for the bulls and wildcats games tonight. I get up stairs then i start to speak.

Mat Ward Let me guess the pizza is on it way?

Jim Ward I just order it like five minutes ago

Mat Ward Alright, if you guys want you are more then welcome to stay.

I look at Christine then she starts to speak

She sits next to John who wraps his arms around her.

Christine: I guess so. If you can handly us a little longer.

Just then Addy comes running in with a picture she had drawn. She walks up to Christine and John and hands it to her. Chris looks at it and shows it to John.

Christine: Oh Addy, baby did you draw this?

Addy: Yes mommy.

Christine: It is beautiful baby. I love it. is this mommy and daddy?

Addy: No you and him.

Christine has tears in her eyes. Then Addy walks up to Matt and hands him another paper.

Addy: You and her daddy.

She looks up at Matt as he looks at the paper.

I look at Christine then i look at the picture of Jewel and myself then i start to speak.

Matt Ward It good princess, yes i can handle you two for a little bit longer. the normal you is fine, the other side i am worried about.

Jim Ward Well just not worry about that right now you two. I guess a certain some one knows what is going on already at a young age.

Christine looks at me then she starts to speak

Christine: I guess she does. Kids are smart. Don't know if Scotty will except it. I try and try... I seem to fail. Now my little boy... My first born hates me. Matt can say he don't all he wants... But Scotty told Sarah he hated me so I know it is true. Hell he won't even come near me.

She looks down as John holds her a little tighter.

She nods.

Christine: I hope you are right hun. I really hope you are right.

She smiles at him.

Christine: Sorry, Part of all this is stress... the rest is trying to control Angel so she don't do anything stupid. Thanks hun for helping me.