-We start with Joy and Payne arguing in the waiting room-


Payne: You are unbelievable Joy!


Joy: You're the one who drags me to couples counseling!


Payne: It's because of you that we're even here!


Secretary: Doctor Price will see you now.


-Joy & Payne walk into the counseling office and they are welcomed by Dr. Price-




Price: Welcome I'm Dr. Stewart Price, go ahead and have a seat.


-They sit on that weird looking couch all psychiatrist seem to have. They sit on opposite ends of the couch-



Price: Alrighty, Hunter Payne and Joy Giovanni. Did anyone ever tell you guys that's an oxymoron? Payne and Joy. Hahaha.


-Neither of them is laughing, which makes this awkward. Dr. Price looks like he has a lot of the same qualities as Dr. Shelby from WWE fame-


Price: Hunter, why don't you start.


Payne: Alright, well Joy is a complete bitch!


Price: Hunter, my office is a safe place. Where we refrain from name calling m'kay?


Payne: Alright, well Joy... is uhhh... a mean girl. That treats me like her slave and just uses me for camera time and sex. It's degrading and I don't want to be with her anymore. See she signed a joint-contract with the wrestling company I'm in. So we're in as a group, and it's either be in this group or we are both fired. And not only does she not care, she takes advantage of it. Do this and do that or you're fired! The only reason we're here as you know is the court order. If I had a choice I would have broken it off with her a long time ago.


Price: Ok. And Joy your thoughts?


-Joy had her earphones in the whole time. She is listening to music and mouthing the words-


Price: Joy... Joy....


Joy: I'm sorry. What?


Price: Hunter just poured his heart out, and you didn't hear any of it?


Joy: For what? It's the same complaining. Wah Wah Wah you control me... Wah Wah Wah Joint contract... Wah Wah Wah I don't want to be with you but I have to be... Wah Wah Wah... Stop being such a little bitch Hunter.


Payne: Fuck you!


Price: Hey now, refrain from the bad language m'kay. Both of you.


Payne: Sorry.


Joy: Whatever.


Price: Alright, let's go to neutral ground here. Wrestling. You both are involved in wrestling. So what's that like? Joy you start this time.


Joy: Well I manage a terrible wrestler. What about you Hunter?


Price: Let me ask the questions M'kay... What about you Hunter?


Payne: Hey! Any match that YOU don't get involved in, I win Joy!


Price: Oh dear, this is worse than I thought.


-Dr. Price gets out a folding chair and puts a coat on the chair so it looks like the chair is wearing a coat-




Price: Alrighty, we are going to do a treatment exercise. It has been dubbed 'Eastwooding' and basically you are going to talk to the chair as if they were your partner, while your partner talks from their seat, you must respond to the chair. Joy can you go first?




Joy: Fine...


-Joy walks to the chair on the other side of the office-


Price: M'kay, now Hunter if you would, please fill in the audio for the chair.


Payne: And I can't cuss?


Price: Nope.


Payne: Damn it!... I mean... Dang it!


Joy: Hurry up! I want to get the stupid exercise over with...


Payne: I hate you Joy!... You're shallow, conceited, vindictive, and narcissistic.


Joy: -To the chair- Awww Thanks baby, but I think you're supposed to say something bad about me.


Payne: You're a egotistical, psychotic, pretentious bitch!... Sorry Dr. Price!


Price: Wow...


Joy: -To the chair- You're really bad at insults Hunter... Almost as bad as you are in a wrestling ring! Hahahaha.


Payne: Alright, Joy fine! You want to hear it?! You are ugly!


Joy: -To the chair- ... hmmm.. No i'm not...


Payne: Yes you are! And I'm not talking about your personality. I'm talking about that ugly face of yours!


Joy: -To the chair- Ok. Stop it now Hunter! It's not funny...


Payne: Ugh, and that hair!


Joy: -To the chair- What's wrong with my hair?!


Payne: It's all nappy and... Is that a gray hair?!


Joy: -To the chair- NO IT'S NOT!


Payne: Ugh and don't even get me started on your waistline!


Joy: -To the chair- What's that supposed to mean?!


Payne: Your fat!


Joy: -To the chair- NO I AM NOT!!!




Payne: That was pretty fun.


-Hunter Payne finally found Joy's weakness folks... VANITY!-


Price: M'kay Hunter, now it's your turn.


Payne: You got it doc.


Price: Great job Joy. Now it's your turn to talk for the chair.


Joy: Gladly.


-Joy & Hunter switch places, and Hunter fixes the chair-


Payne: -To the chair- Wow, this feels a lot stupider now that I'm doing it.


Joy: Shut up you stupid disappointment! You're a disappointment to everyone who knows you Hunter!


Payne: -To the chair- That's a new one. Good job Joy.


Joy: Oh, I was the one who keyed your car.


Payne: -To the chair- I kinda figured that!


Joy: And I totally got that cop's number when you were arrested.


Payne: -To the chair- Is that why that guy kept asking me about you?!


Joy: And remember that club we went to? I saw you get that pretty girl's number, and that's why I ran you over!


Payne: -To the chair- YOU DID WHAT?! I really liked her you bitch!!!


-Hunter folds the chair and hits it against Dr. Price's wall, knocking down some for his diplomas and awards. Hunter then throws the chair towards a window...-







-The chair goes out the the second story window to the floor below, it lands right on top of a Prius! Man, "THE Table" is not not going to be happy about that one-




-Dr. Price gets his keys out of his pocket and turns off his car alarm-




Payne: Shit! I'll pay for that Mr. Price.


-Mr. Price takes a deep breath-


Price: It's alright Hunter. I think we should wrap it up for today. Go ahead and have a seat.


-Hunter sits in his old spot on the couch, far from Joy-


Price: That was... different... but productive. It may not look like it by my broken window and my smashed car but you two made progress. Hunter, now I want you to work on your anger issues. And Joy, you need to work on your attitude. I want you to schedule a second appointment with my secretary. And I have homework for you two... I want you to write a poem about each other, to read to each other next session. Now I'm going to go check on my car. You guys have a nice day.


-Dr. Price leaves, Hunter and Joy gaze into each other's eyes-


Joy:.... I still hate you...


Payne: I still hate you too...


-Session one is done!-