Deep beneath the vibrant topside of Coreytopia, Florida is a twisting labyrinth of subterranean corridors, which is where our present interaction takes place. Didn’t know Coreytopia had subterranean corridors? Hell, neither did I, and I’m the narrator!

Corey Smith leads another figure down a corkscrew cement staircase. He holds aloft a gothic looking candelabra. As the second figure skitters down the steps to catch up to Corey, we see that it’s Joachim Bright, the absurdly sensible and shockingly adorable offspring of the infamous Engineer. The first one, not Corey’s. Most recently, Joachim has been integral at running Coreytopia while Corey has been away, and today’s events may make young Joachim wish Corey had STAYED away. Whoops, foreshadowing!

…all I’m saying is that masquerading as Michael Graves completely nullifies any good the man has been doing. I mean, how to you proffer yourself up as a defender of the working man all the while profiting off the identify of a Epstein Island frequent flyer whose greatest claim to fame is being a disgusting goon who diddles kids? Joachim inquires.

Corey, looking a bit nervous for some reason, retorts, Well maybe we don’t have all the facts about who is portraying Michael Graves and maybe….just maybe….that could influence your….

Don’t have all the facts?! Come on Cor, we alllllll know who is playing Michael Graves. The guy’s not even keeping it a secret anymore. Not really, anyway. And that’s what makes it so much worse! He doesn’t even need to be portraying Michael Graves anymore. All that backstage schizz is done and over with. Leaving only one reason the guy is playing a notorious child molester….he enjoys it!

That might be a little harsh.

Oh, I don’t think so. Look, he has all the talent in the world and he CHOOSES to hide behind one of the most perverted leftovers of the most backwards, revolting XWF era of all time. And you know why? It’s because the guy can’t help himself. He can’t help it! For all the good he claims to do during the day, he still needs an outlet for the outsize shitty half of his personality. Part of him just NEEDS to be a bad person.

Corey reaches the bottom of the stairs and stands next to a door. Meanwhile Joachim keeps ranting. Why if that duplicitous, charade of a human Mark Fl-

Corey opens the door and turns on the light inside.

JO, I’M MICHAEL GRAVES!

Joachim stops mid rant, and as he has a look inside the room his jaw slowly drops. Because inside is a veritable shrine to Michael Graves. Wrestling gear. Masks. Past championships. The works.

You’re….you’re….what?!

Corey sighs. I’ve been playing Michael Graves for the last year. It’s me. No one else.

Joachim looks flabbergasted. What?! WHY?!

Well….its complicated….

Joachim folds his arms. I have all day.

It all started when Thad Duke and I came up with a plan to undo the worst era in XWF history by taking the major players who made that era so bad and, erm….”rehabbing” them. In fact, we called it….



What’s the acronym stand for?

Don’t know. We didn’t get that far. Acronyms are just cool.

No argument from me.

Anyway, it was no secret that Thad harbored a massive hate boner for the Shane Era, so he enlisted my help in destroying it completely. To do that, we came up with a sweeping plan wherein I would disguise myself as the various jerks, bigots, assholes, and ne’er do wells that made up that era, bring them back, and actually portray them as decent human beings.

Jo’s eyes widen. Holy shit!

Yeah. In fact, I’m almost done with phase 1.

Who’s phase 2?

Gilly. Duh.

Of course. Wait, skinny or fat?

Fat. Duh.

Of course. Joachim starts. But wait! What about the match at Anarchy?!

Yeah, didn’t plan on that. Turns out my cross promotional contract came with a hidden rider that I had to appear on Anarchy and that muppet Stars booked me against “Graves”.

So who’s going to play Graves if not you?!

Mark Flynn.

I….see….Joachim looks confused.

Yeah, Mark’s still a piece of shit. He volunteered for it in an instant. 

But Corey, you’ve never beaten Mark Flynn.

Oh, I know. And I’m sure he’ll mention it ad nauseum despite the fact that it would make absolutely no fucking sense for Michael Graves to bring it up. But here’s the deal Jo, the Mark Flynn that beat me was Mark back when he was on a hot streak. But Mark Flynn today? Hasn’t held a title since 2023. In fact, he’s been so obsessed with recalibrating his image as some savior of the working class that his competitive balls seem to have dropped right off. He’s not the same competitor I faced before.

He is however, the same ASSHOLE I faced before. So much so that he can’t even hold himself back from infighting with his fellow revolutionary Dolly Waters, making shit up about how she wanted to make nice with the Black Rainbow when she has never said anything of the sort. Setting up the strawsiest straw man to ever straw just so he can gain some weak ass rhetorical points against her when it became convenient to do so.

Soooo….Mark Flynn, still a fuck face?

Absolutely still a fuck face.

But not Michael Graves?

Nope. Except for this upcoming Anarchy.

I see. Joachim looks down the hall. What’s next then?

Corey sighs again. A hell of a lot of work. He holds out the candelabra revealing a succession of doors, each one bearing a name.

Gilmour.

Pest.

Morbid Angel.

Dimalisher.

Frodo Smackins

John Samuels

The doors go on and on.

Joachim makes a “yikes” face. Yeesh. He turns around and sees Corey in a Graves mask. GAH!

Yes it smells as bad as you think it does.