Mighty fine sermon pastor. I feel as though too many people fall into the Devils trap that we call depression. Lucifer loves to try to fill our heads full of negative thoughts in an effort to break our wills and pull us further from God. That's why it's important for us all to remember that the good Lord has a plan for us all. Sometimes that plan involves hardships and heartbreak to come into our lives, but I feel like that's just the good Lord giving us the experience's required to become stronger.


Now please bow your heads with me for prayer.


Lord, I want to thank you for encouraging so many of my brothers and sisters from the XWF to join us here today. I ask that you shine your light into their souls the same way that you have mine. Help them find peace in this life, and strength to move on even in hardship. I ask that if any of our friends here today are suffering from this Devils curse we call depression, that they realize with your help, it is possible to overcome.

In our father's name, I pray, Amen.

::It's been nearly 20 years since I've set foot in a church. Turmoil provided by external forces aside, the evil I'd willed my own hands to carry out long before I'd ever turned my back on religion had me briefly wondering if I'd spontaneously combust upon entering. Of course, that line of thinking is ridiculous; it is the will and hand of man that visits miracles and nightmares upon others. Still...I couldn't seem to stifle my curiosity in what exactly Darren Zirado had planned and who exactly from the XWF family would show up. I took a seat as far in the back as possible and slid down the pew as close to the wall as possible cornering myself. Unwise, yes, but at the very least I could satisfy my curiosity and avoid any members of the XWF family who quite obviously harbored less than cordial feelings for the man they call Caedus and the man somewhere deep inside, Jimmy O'Connor::

Robert looks over to see Jim in the corner. He walks over and takes a seat next to Jim wondering what the hell he is doing. He then lights a cigar and listens to Darren Zirado, every now and then Robert looks over at Jim from the corner of his eyes.

Cadryn walks in the Church and see's Robert Main and Jim Caedus sitting in a pew by themselves.

"Eh, we're all friends in the eyes of God, so here's to new beginnings. Plus, I really need to ask Darren if I'm pregnant. Cause, I had premarital sex with my new girlfriend, Natalie."

Cadryn takes a seat beside Jim, smiling from ear to ear.

That I did not get

NOW BE MY BITCH ASS HOLE!!!!!!!!!!

Micheal is sitting prominently in the front row with his friend Darren Zirado. Micheal didn't really want to come here today, but a punch to the eye from an upset Darren Zirado will convince most men to take a seat on the wooden pews. It's been 19 years since Micheal had stepped foot in a church. Odd that he and Caedus seem to have so much in common the more that we learn about the two of them.

The last time that Micheal was in a church, it was Sunday school. The church had invited a member of the Mormon church to come in and tell the students about their religion. Micheal remembered thinking how odd that seemed for a southern baptist church to bring a member of a church who followed a different religion in to talk to Sunday school kids.

When the Sunday school instructors proceeded to embarrass and shame the Mormon, going on to tell the students how his religion was a religion based off lies, and the need to fornicate with women, Micheal had yelled "This is bullshit!" and walked out. This wasn't the first time that Micheal had been apart of a church that was doing some shady shit, but it would be the last, he thought. Micheal never again returned to church, until now.

He had lost his faith in man and believed that humans were not capable of teaching the word of God because they are jealous, cowardly, greedy, sneaky, vindictive, vile, awful creatures. Micheal would decide from this point on to teach himself about God, but when his lessons were no longer guided by another, he found himself only having more questions. In time Micheal would conclude that the Bible was a book of fairytales and that God does not exist. That just makes it all the odder that he is sitting here today, listening to this man preach.

::By the time I realize I've been lost in thought my buddy Robert Main had taken a seat beside me followed by my partner in a wickedly heated feud, Cadryn Tiberius of all family members. I nod to Robert, we fist bump. I look to the smiling Cady-cat...and find myself against my better judgment reaching across Rob to offer Cadryn a fist bump as well. Fuck it. We ARE in church and like it or not, I was raised in the blithering idiocy of Mormonism which held a most deep-rooted subconscious level of respect for being in a building of worship, even if I was going to ask Robert if he had another cigar I might enjoy along with him following Cadryn's return or not of my fist bump.::

Cadryn smiles at Jim.

Cadryn raises a hand to bump fists with Jim, but instead, extends his hand as a sign of respect.

"This is a place of forgiveness, Jim. I think it's time we let bygones be bygones."

Cadryn waits patiently with his hand extended.

".............................................."

::It seems even Darren Zirado and Micheal Graves up in front have taken notice of the gesture hanging between Cadryn and I. What the hell, I'd been looking for a fist bump but if Cadryn could raise himself to shake my hand, I'd return it.

I grasp his paw in my own and shake. It feels good, I hate to admit it. When it ends, I turn to The Omega::

"Robert, got an extra cigar?"

After relinquishing the handshake, Cadryn does a little dance and then simmers down once more.

"Well, now that Jim and I are on good terms, a possible friendship could be brewing!"

Cadryn stands up and begins shouting to the front of the church.

"DARREN OR GRAVY? CAN ONE OF YOU TELL ME IF I'M PREGNANT. NATALIE SAID THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS, BUT SHE DIDN'T PULL OUT, SO I THINK I'M PREGNANT."

Robert reaches down inside his shirt pocket and pulls a glass tube sealed with wax. It's a Makers Mark cigar. He looks to Jim handing him the cigar.

"Jim every time we cross paths you end up with one of my cigars. But for brother anytime!"

Robert hands Jim his zippo.

Darren, and the rest of the attendees mind you, all look back to Cadryn. Darren is more than a little upset with Cadryn's outburst as he brings a finger to his mouth and says...


Shhhhh!

LET US PREY!

*Peter puts his hands together and smiles wickedly*

SUCK... MY... DICK!

3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion

::I can't manage to stifle my own wicked grin on reaction to the legendary Gilly's words. I then produce a cylindrical solid gold match holder I'd..."borrowed" from a past... Well, it doesn't really matter where I got it. I remove a match, strike and light the cigar then I hand the holder to Robert:

"You're right. I owe you. Here, it's golden like you brother. Save your lighter fluid."

Cadryn reaches into his pocket and begins to hand Jim a condom wrapper.

Let's just remember that he has never had friends so he doesn't really know the etiquette involved in friendly gift giving.

"JIM I WANT YOU TO HAVE THIS."

::For a moment- ok, several moments, I believe Cadryn must be fucking with me. At least with a rubber he's doing it safely. The look on his face, however, never changes, the twinkle in his eye remains...pure innocence. How can I NOT accept a sincere gift?

I reach out and grab::

::A cold, viscous, cloudy white substance oozes out.::

"AH!!"

::I fling the wrapper away hurriedly in disgust to my left. The cum-filled condom I was unaware of within smacks against the wall, wrapper fluttering to the floor, and sticks. A magnum. Fuck. You. God::

::I swivel my head back to Cadryn in fury. Robert is trying not to gag. Cadryn is still beaming innocently. Well, at least I got none on me::

"Uh....thank you Cadryn."

"And this is why I don't go to church."

"This precise reason."

"I'm not even sure why I'm here now or how I got here."

"Seriously, I'm missing a lot of hours."

"Every time I try and remember the events that transpired, all I can envision is a rerun of Charles In Charge."

"Oh well, I'm sure whatever went down, it wasn't important."

"Ketamine?"

Cadryn smiles at Jim.

"I also have cereal in my gym bag, Caedy-cat."

"You want some?!"

Y'all know that it is church right?

NOW BE MY BITCH ASS HOLE!!!!!!!!!!