Shane stands at a podium and taps a microphone a few times before speaking into it.

: Ladies and gentlepotatoes, as we all know, there has been some question regarding the future of the X-treme Championship and Peter Gilmour. It would appear that Mr. Gilmour will indeed be taking some time away from the company and that means he will not be available to defend his title. Since that title is a 24/7 title, and since other people would like a shot, I am going to strip the title from Gilmour and award it to...


...
...but what's this? Some man in a suit, just looking like some ordinary lawyer type, walks up to Shane.

Man: My name is Mr. Law.

: How original.

Law: I'm afraid I've come with some bad news, Mr. . You're stuck with Peter Gilmour as your champion.

: What? Why?

Law: It's real simple. Has the XWF had any OTHER recent "vacations" taken by any of its current champions? Who else has had to have some "time away" as of late, Mr. ? It wasn't just Mr. Gilmour in the last couple weeks, was it?

: Obviously all the trolls and nerds online already know Tony Santos and Sid Feder both had some time away from the company. What's your point?

Law: My point is that Sid Feder is a champion, correct? He's your European Champion and he was known as such before his week off, correct?

: Yes. What's your point?

Law: Upon his return to the company, is he or was he still recognized officially as the European Champion?

: As far as I know he hasn't made his official return as of yet, but yes Sid's still our European Champion.

Law: So you mean to tell me, in NO WAY did Sid's week long "vacation" put his current title reign in any jeopardy at all... correct?

: I guess that's true.

Law: Then wouldn't it be fair to expect that all of your company performers receive the same fair treatment across the board?

: ...

Law: You might not like it, Shane, but you are now in a position where you MUST protect Peter Gilmour's championship. Now that you've demonstrated how XWF championship reigns cannot be put at risk by a suspension or vacation or other short term absence, you must apply that to Mr. Gilmour's championship even if it has a 24/7 clause to it. The legal need to protect your champion overrides the company dictated "gimmick" of that championship.

: You piece of shit.

Law: Call me what you will. Just make sure Peter still has that championship when he returns in 4 days or you'll be facing more trouble than you can wave all your potatoes at. Understand?

: Get out.

Law: Gladly. Good day sir. I'll give Peter your regards.

Charlotte Dyson strolls up to the podium to stand beside Shane .

"Damn. Here I was hoping that title would be back up for grabs. I mean seriously, who does that guy think he is? Looks like Gilly boy went and had one of his friends help out. I mean, come on, that man didn't look one bit like any lawyer I've ever seen. At least not one that could mess with some one as powerful as the Great Shane ."

Charlotte smirks, looking up at him.

"Are you really going to let Gilmour make a fool of you? I didn't take you for that type of man . Come on, show him and that tool, just who the boss is around here. Make them regret ever doing this to you. He's not worthy of the title Champion. Think about it."

She places a hand on his shoulder.

Shane laughs loudly as his shoulders shake up and down. Once he finally calms down, he asks...

: So I should just give Peter Gilmour's title to you and risk getting buttfucked by that homo guy? Did you get a whiff of that guy's breath? I think he was far enough away by the time you came over here so consider yourself lucky.

Shane pulls a carrot out of his pocket and tosses it onto the floor.

: Bunnies live here.

What looks like an ant is heading toward the carrot but no bunnies... no bunnies. :(

Charlotte looked at shaking her head. She walked over and opened the rabbit hutch door and two little bunnies hopped out and went for the carrot.

"I'm not saying give it to me. Perhaps giving it to someone like me would cause that tool, and every other idiot to get a bullet in the skull. No, I just think that title is better suited on anyone's waist other than Gilmour."

Alexandra points the bunnies out to him as she takes her original spot.

"See even the bunnies know that you are the all powerful one."

She nods softly.

Shane gets so excited at the sight of the bunnies that he forgets what was being talked about, which by the way can happen even if he's not distracted by animals. He kneels down on the floor and begins crawling around, wiggling his nose and sniffing at things like he himself is a bunny. He rushes in and bites what's left of the carrot, growling and shaking his head with a far away look in his eye.

: *growls and grunts* ... my carrot! ... *roars and screams*

Suddenly from out of nowhere, that annoying lawyer asshole returns!

Mr. Law: One more thing, Mr. . I forget to tell...

He stops mid sentence and sees Shane rolling around on the floor, tossing the carrot up into the air by his teeth and trying to catch it in his mouth. Mr. Law just stares for a few seconds in a bewildered state. Without another word he gets the hell out of there.

: Cookies go yum yum. Are you mad? Do you feel blame?

Charlotte laughs softly.

"I never feel blame. Nor am I mad. Enjoy your bunnies Mr. ."

She winks softly and starts away from his podium and stands near where he's rolling around.

"I think you showed them who's boss around here."

Ain't this about a bitch

Might as well change the title from being 24/7 to whenever the fuck the holder wants.

The title is irrelevant and it was made such by it's irrelevant holder.

(12-22-2013, 07:26 AM)Dr. Zero Said: The title is irrelevant and it was made such by it's irrelevant holder.

I believe this comment is irrelevant. I mean, why would that matter to you? With that briefcase you could go after any champion you wanted, which makes your concerns over the X-Treme Title irrelevant, unless you wanted to go after it, which I suppose would make that irrelevancy void, your comment no longer irrelevant, and this comment on this matter being completely irrelevant which, granted, it probably already is irrelevant by now.

You know what I mean?

(12-22-2013, 07:36 AM)Smoke Man Said:

(12-22-2013, 07:26 AM)Dr. Zero Said: The title is irrelevant and it was made such by it's irrelevant holder.

I believe this comment is irrelevant. I mean, why would that matter to you? With that briefcase you could go after any champion you wanted, which makes your concerns over the X-Treme Title irrelevant, unless you wanted to go after it, which I suppose would make that irrelevancy void, your comment no longer irrelevant, and this comment on this matter being completely irrelevant which, granted, it probably already is irrelevant by now.

You know what I mean?

You're irrelevant and are trying too hard to be clever? I'm reading you loud and clear in that regard.

(12-22-2013, 07:50 AM)Jessie-ica Diaz Said:

(12-22-2013, 07:36 AM)Smoke Man Said:

(12-22-2013, 07:26 AM)Dr. Zero Said: The title is irrelevant and it was made such by it's irrelevant holder.

I believe this comment is irrelevant. I mean, why would that matter to you? With that briefcase you could go after any champion you wanted, which makes your concerns over the X-Treme Title irrelevant, unless you wanted to go after it, which I suppose would make that irrelevancy void, your comment no longer irrelevant, and this comment on this matter being completely irrelevant which, granted, it probably already is irrelevant by now.

You know what I mean?

You're irrelevant and are trying too hard to be clever? I'm reading you loud and clear in that regard.

This whole discussion is irrelevant, Jessie. I think it was pretty irrelevant for me to even be involved.

(12-22-2013, 08:04 AM)Smoke Man Said:

(12-22-2013, 07:50 AM)Jessie-ica Diaz Said:

(12-22-2013, 07:36 AM)Smoke Man Said: I believe this comment is irrelevant. I mean, why would that matter to you? With that briefcase you could go after any champion you wanted, which makes your concerns over the X-Treme Title irrelevant, unless you wanted to go after it, which I suppose would make that irrelevancy void, your comment no longer irrelevant, and this comment on this matter being completely irrelevant which, granted, it probably already is irrelevant by now.

You know what I mean?

You're irrelevant and are trying too hard to be clever? I'm reading you loud and clear in that regard.

This whole discussion is irrelevant, Jessie. I think it was pretty irrelevant for me to even be involved.

So irrelevant that it took not one, not two, not even three, but six fucking utterances of the word to get your message across? When it gets to that point, isn't the word itself just a tad bit redundant?

Furthermore, if the entire discussion is in your eyes irrelevant, why bother commenting on the irrelevancy of it? Dr. Zero (the guy you were talking to, just wanted to make that clear in case you got too mesmerized by the prospect of a woman talking to you) is a much more intelligent being than you, if it were truly as irrelevant as you claim it to be, he would already know this shit.

Go back to calling dibs on the belt or whatever the fuck it is you do when you aren't following the damn train.

(12-22-2013, 07:36 AM)Smoke Man Said:

(12-22-2013, 07:26 AM)Dr. Zero Said: The title is irrelevant and it was made such by it's irrelevant holder.

I believe this comment is irrelevant. I mean, why would that matter to you? With that briefcase you could go after any champion you wanted, which makes your concerns over the X-Treme Title irrelevant, unless you wanted to go after it, which I suppose would make that irrelevancy void, your comment no longer irrelevant, and this comment on this matter being completely irrelevant which, granted, it probably already is irrelevant by now.

You know what I mean?

It does not matter to me. Thus, my statement. If you and the others wish to continue indulging the child that carries this worthless trinket, be my guest. I would suggest focusing your collective attention on more important endeavors.

(12-22-2013, 08:04 AM)Smoke Man Said:

(12-22-2013, 07:50 AM)Jessie-ica Diaz Said:

(12-22-2013, 07:36 AM)Smoke Man Said: I believe this comment is irrelevant. I mean, why would that matter to you? With that briefcase you could go after any champion you wanted, which makes your concerns over the X-Treme Title irrelevant, unless you wanted to go after it, which I suppose would make that irrelevancy void, your comment no longer irrelevant, and this comment on this matter being completely irrelevant which, granted, it probably already is irrelevant by now.

You know what I mean?

You're irrelevant and are trying too hard to be clever? I'm reading you loud and clear in that regard.

This whole discussion is irrelevant, Jessie. I think it was pretty irrelevant for me to even be involved.

Now that's a pretty weak response to the girl who likes to inject herself in to, and generally be antagonistic in, every conversation, Smoke. Come on, you sissy little Briton. You gonna let that schizophrenic bitch's multiple personalities rip your unworthy testicles from your flimsy scrotum, or are you gonna get in there and prove that you were a worthy... um, UFO champion?

Well, shit. Carry on.

September 2013 and May 2019 Star of the Month
1x Hart Champion
1x Television Champion
1x Xtreme Champion

(12-22-2013, 08:10 AM)Jessie-ica Diaz Said:

(12-22-2013, 08:04 AM)Smoke Man Said:

(12-22-2013, 07:50 AM)Jessie-ica Diaz Said: You're irrelevant and are trying too hard to be clever? I'm reading you loud and clear in that regard.

This whole discussion is irrelevant, Jessie. I think it was pretty irrelevant for me to even be involved.

So irrelevant that it took not one, not two, not even three, but six fucking utterances of the word to get your message across? When it gets to that point, isn't the word itself just a tad bit redundant?

Furthermore, if the entire discussion is in your eyes irrelevant, why bother commenting on the irrelevancy of it? Dr. Zero (the guy you were talking to, just wanted to make that clear in case you got too mesmerized by the prospect of a woman talking to you) is a much more intelligent being than you, if it were truly as irrelevant as you claim it to be, he would already know this shit.

Go back to calling dibs on the belt or whatever the fuck it is you do when you aren't following the damn train.

Thank you for the kind words, Ms. Diaz. You flatter me.

(12-22-2013, 08:10 AM)Jessie-ica Diaz Said:

(12-22-2013, 08:04 AM)Smoke Man Said:

(12-22-2013, 07:50 AM)Jessie-ica Diaz Said: You're irrelevant and are trying too hard to be clever? I'm reading you loud and clear in that regard.

This whole discussion is irrelevant, Jessie. I think it was pretty irrelevant for me to even be involved.

So irrelevant that it took not one, not two, not even three, but six fucking utterances of the word to get your message across? When it gets to that point, isn't the word itself just a tad bit redundant?

Furthermore, if the entire discussion is in your eyes irrelevant, why bother commenting on the irrelevancy of it? Dr. Zero (the guy you were talking to, just wanted to make that clear in case you got too mesmerized by the prospect of a woman talking to you) is a much more intelligent being than you, if it were truly as irrelevant as you claim it to be, he would already know this shit.

Go back to calling dibs on the belt or whatever the fuck it is you do when you aren't following the damn train.

If there is one thing I learned about the XWF over this past week is that dibs doesn't work. So no, I'm not dibbing on anything, thanks.

And you say the word redundant, but all I hear is 'irrelevant'.

...I think I may have a small problem.

Fuck it, I say we just rename it the Peter Gilmour Belt for Kids Who Can't Wrestle Good.

And then let him hold it forever. No one need challenge him. Just let him have it. It can be his "precious".

"What is this, the Supreme Court? Shane, you don't need to adhere the rule of one championship unto the entirety of the crown jewels! That's putting all your eggs in one basket! And the Easter Bunny does not need another incident with cracked eggs, my friend. Jesus will not be happy with that.

But what to do about the "law" of the XWF?

I'm going to go ahead and say the statute of limitations on the XTreme "Peter Gilmour Bitches Like a Bitch" Championship is a bit different than the European "Sid Feder Jerks Off for a Week" Championship. There's a reason the XTreme Title is defended 24/7. Because it's the bloody 24/7 XTreme Title! May as well just rename it and place some black duct tape over the 24/7 portion to hide the legal matters from anyone who asks questions. Shifty eyes, mate, shifty eyes.

But I'm not a lawyer. I'm just an abomination from outer space."

Achievements

• 1x Tag Team Champion
  
• August 2013 Superstar of the Month (Thank you all so much!)
  
• 1x US Champion
  
• 1x X-treme Champion
  

Good idea Mc Bride... Stick a potato in his muffler for me!

Mystica, I'm afraid to think of what unusual privilege might be given to Peter Gilmour by the Administrator Network in an attempt to appease that damned Mr. Law. I can't risk that fat piece of crap getting handed something even BIGGER for free. We'll just have somebody beat the blubber out of him when he returns!

Mr. , I'd gladly take that honor. Hell, I'd even do it non-title. I mean, it is 24/7, so, after I beat him non-title, I'll just pin him again and take the strap.

Well son of a bitch!


All you people do is bitch and moan!


"Peter Gilmour is X-treme Champion!"


Wah Wah Wah!


So do something about it!


Suspension be damned!


If you really want that title, you would show up to that fat fuck's house!


Beat the living hell out of his male life partner!


Then open up a can of whoop ass on that some'bitch , and take his title!



Guess this place isn't as extreme as Stone Cold thought!

I'll consult a good friend from back at Oxford, Mr. , and get back to you on this.

He's a snake of a man, with no soul, but a damn good lawyer. Guess that goes without saying.

Achievements

• 1x Tag Team Champion
  
• August 2013 Superstar of the Month (Thank you all so much!)
  
• 1x US Champion
  
• 1x X-treme Champion