Gabe Reno on his home computer begins to use digital programming to create likenesses of no one in particular to play in his new virtual reality game. The game allows the user to make their own commercial spots based on pop culture in area's from music to literature and everything in between. After hours toiling with the settings, and doing sample runs with different stick figures, our favorite 'Radical' has finally got the dimensions right enough to try his first full length feature. Just like the new video game "XWF: VINNIE'S VENGEANCE", these digital images are strikingly accurate portrayals of the true glitz and glamour of XWF in all its glory. Though not related to any certain ones for copyright purposes, of course.
Alrighty, let's see what this shit can do, wonder if it's any good? Cost me enough at the fucking convention. The back does say to use with extreme prejudice; ANIMATIONS MAY APPEAR EXTREMELY REAL BUT ARE ONLY MEANT FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF ENTERTAINMENT. Huh... nice of them to say all that right on the packaging like that... right on. Well, I can't fuck with this for too long, gotta get back to my match preparation before Thomas Nixon starts talking about more dead historical figures with no point in sight. Might have to make a little transfer onto his face, from the splurge book depository. Sounds literary and meaningful...
A zoom into the blank screen, leads to a loading prompt... then the lines and shapes becoming the likeness of a face within a soothing serene. The monitor on the screen becomes reality. A cool January breeze follows a single leaf as it twists and turns on a jet stream magically back over a familiar lake. Eventually the shot steadies narrowing in on a small group of stones at the lakes edge. Words come across the screen just as delicately as the leaf had blown.
Superimposed, the digital head resembling a known face by complete coincidence appears in animated form.
"Hello friends... and welcome to a very special edition of "Viagra: Trying to Climax". I will be your host tonight to walk you through stimulating scenario's and true stories of people like you who lost their mojo, then medically enhanced it to fill the void in their... undercarriage. From pathetic or lethargic, to just plain ugly, these pills will make you a "10" in the bedroom on anyone's fuck-o-meter. Packed with things so secretly good, they won't even tell me what is in them. But after trails upon safe trials, the only thing we can tell you for sure that these little blue miracles contain, is love. Have you tired of trying to rush a sexual experience that your partner doesn't really want because of how disappointing and sad it's become, like I have? Well, in just 40 minutes, you could be hard as a rock trying to climax for a full, pulsating, gay- or not gay- erection that will last 3-5 hours and get you the respect you no longer deserve. New Viagra Super Climax... it lasts longer so that you don't have to. Yet still has the trademark blue potency of the pill you've come to know and, if you're like me, abuse from time to time. But you don't have to take my word for it, who the hell am I anyway? Right? Let's hear some testimonials..."
The screen zips over his shoulder to the display of someone reading with a voiceover.
(Actor Paid by Viagra With Made Up Alias)
Tommy, I've been suffering from ED on and off for over a year now, and like most of the guys who have related their experiences here, you really have to experience it to know the knock it gives not just to your sexual confidence, but also your confidence in general. Recently I confided in a very good friend the problems I was having, and was stunned to find he had been using Viagra Super Climax for well over 18 months. The long and the short of it is, he supplied me with two 100mg tablets and a lot of good advice as to dosage and use while trying to climax.
So for the first time last night, I split one of the tablets and tried it out. Well for almost an hour and a half nothing happened, despite the best efforts of my lovely transgender manwife, except for having a sinking feeling that I might be one of the 1 in 5 who it doesn't work for, then BANG, the hardest erection I have had for many years. Not too sure why it seemed to take longer for me then others, but God, was it good when I was trying to climax.
The bottom line is that we made love on 5 separate occasions that evening, something I have never managed since my early twenties, and wow, was it great to be able to do it again! What amazed me more then anything, was not just how hard you get, but how easy it is to do it again and again in a short space of time. Thanks Thomas! - "Paul in New York"
He looks up at the camera with a stupid grin on his face.
"Heart warming, isn't it folks? This is more than a medication you pop like a tic-tac. It is the very key to unlocking your partners deepest unfulfillable fantasies for the purpose of you doing it, before they find someone else who does and realize how much of a piece of shit you truly are. See, we here at Viagra, aren't just about making pharmaceutical sales... Oh... no... ha, no, no. We want the complete package of the relationship with someone who is in desperate need of change. We have spent years perfecting these pills so that you can continue your lazy lifestyle, to be as detrimental to yourself as you choose to be, and yet still reek the rewards of sexual conquest. Look at me, I am one of the more insincere people you will ever meet. Before Viagra came to me with this commercial, I was considering hanging my depressed good for nothing ass off my 3rd story balcony patio... but now? You can't wipe the smirk off my face... because Super Climax, makes it physically impossible. No, I mean there is shit in this that seriously makes you not be able to stop smiling...how about another satisfied customer?"
Giving digital jazz hands that lead into another testimonial visual.
(Actor Paid by Viagra With Made Up Alias)
Antidepressants had robbed me of my full hardness, and made it so difficult to cum, that sometimes I just gave up. After a recent match where a brother and I came out victorious... I didn't feel my erection was its chaotic self. One 50mg Viagra Super Climax and problem solved! It's like I'm skiing in the snow on Devil's Peak, but I am owning that shit like an Olympic Gold Medalist. I love gold, but I have never been sure how to handle it... until now! I chew it up (tastes awful) and swallow with water. 15-30 minutes later I am boned like Thaddeus Duke at the McDonalds playpen during kids eat free day. And can save my load for as long as I want, or let it go in a hurry. I have found the effect to last about 2-3 hours, for 2-3 hard-ons when I'm trying to climax. - "Chris in Florida"
Back to the host who starts a disturbing slow clap while reviewing the testimony.
"Absolutely stimulating, Chris. See, Chris allows the viagra flow into his mouth because that’s how his brain works. He swallows phrases and buzzwords in a continuous downpour, but he doesn’t even realize that most of his sentiments get really repetitive or they don’t make sense at all. We call it, cock-mongering. So a hard dick is the ultimate game changer. It has taken him from an aspiring wanna-be, to the very top of his game... and it only took one phone call. TO VIAGRA! Do you want to be at the top of your game? Do you want to sail the bluest oceans, climb the highest peaks, and become a hero to those who speak in old sauna's and locker room's about the sexual exploits of those more qualified to live it!? OF COURSE YOU DO! YOU WOULDN'T BE HUMAN IF YOU DIDN'T! You too, can be like Chris... he’s filling up time because he knows that people are listening, but he doesn’t value their time, he just fills it... with sexual satisfaction. He could rant for hours and hours, like me, but he’s always using the same positions over and over again... so that he can climax. And if it doesn't get your partner off, at least you will have a great time trying to pound their skull for miles like the toll on a New Year's Day Rose Parade float. Chris has found the fountain of sleuth... are you next?"
The house viagra band begins to play a cover of 'Don't Make Me Laugh' by Fruit Blood featuring the lyrics "Tryin' to Climax".
"I was like you... cold and damp, with no one to love me, hold me, and sustain even my darkest wants. Then... this little blue Godsend helped me rise from the ashes of obscurity in the bedroom; and awake the dominant lion that I always felt trapped deep inside of me. Now viagra is extending... an offer so erect with savings, that you can rule the jungle in your bedroom too. For $101.99 you get a bottle, and a signed letter forged with encouragement... from yours truly. Just pay shipping and handling, before you try to climax. You may have been ashamed and looking over your shoulder for answers from your last session of shame... but you have my personal guarantee with the full backing of a financially lucrative company, that if you are not satisfied... you can return the pills at absolutely moderate cost to you. So, what are you waiting for... step up into your partner, before they sit down on top of someone else."
He walks reassuringly to a stage set up of a medical office, and grabs a stethoscope in a montage of scenario's involving listening to someone's dick-beat on the table in a white lab coat.
"Remember, consult with your doctor before taking any high stimulant products to ensure that your heart, mind, and soul are healthy enough for sex. Beware of side effects such as a racing heart beat, erections lasting more than 107 hours, and animals who are attracted to dangly objects. If you get a migraine headache in the head of your penis rush to a hospital immediately, and kiss your ass goodbye. Don't forget that sexually transmitted diseases are 550% more likely to be swapped from druggie whore to uncaring pedestrian, and always ask your partner if they are packing more than a good time. Use caution when telling your partner that this is real life, and that they can indeed handle the smashing you are about to deliver. Refer to the bottle guidelines if you need dosage information such as when, how much, and how to take as a suppository, like I do. All persons react differently to Viagra Super Climax, so you may want to try a half dose before subject your inside to eternal torment."
He walks back out in front of a happy family in a park on a blanket with full picnic set up. A boy tosses him a football, and he tosses it back, hitting the kid in the nose violently, then the entire family sharing a silly laugh with corny adoring looks.
"Viagra Super Climax... because if you aren't good enough... just try to belittle everyone else into thinking you are with unnatural enhancements and senseless topical conversation about nothing. TAKE IT FROM ME!"
Back out of the screen, Gabe snuggled in his desk chair see's the final disclaimer, then takes a deep sighs with a shot of whiskey.
What a fucking loser. This program sucks. The completely ficticious characters kinda looked like people... can't put my finger on it... well, whoever they acted stuck in the mud, not sure how to attack... still trying to climax.
smirk off my face... because Super Climax, makes it physically impossible. No, I mean there is shit in this that seriously makes you not be able to stop smiling...how about another satisfied customer?
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