Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

Archie Lawson · (05-26-2014)

The shot cuts to see Archie Lawson in the corner of an elevator, curled up in a ball wearing a suit. He is in the enclosed space with a tall man who has a grin on his face despite the awkward situation. He was a geeky man, he had glasses on and was slightly nazely when he spoke.

“Look man we'll get out of here eventually, I am sure they're sending help.”

Archie didn't react well to that.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up! I'm supposed to be on Monday Night Madness in a few hours and I am desperate to kick the shit out of my colleagues!”

“Uh...”

“Okay so you're not a wrestling fan, go figure. Let me guess you're more into World of Warcraft and Star Wars?”

“Don't criticise me when you're into men wrestling around with other men you big queen, fuck me!”

“Alright, alright calm down. Let's just relax.”

Suddenly the geeky man farted in the enclosed space.

“WHAT THE FUCK MAN!?”

“Well you told me to relax... I fart when i'm relaxed, sheesh!”

“That's just plain wrong on so many levels.”

“Aha good one, because I farted and we're on an elevator.”

“No... I wasn't... Oh never mind, my name's Archie by the way. You might as well know it seeing as we're going to be stuck here for a while.”

“The name's James. Can I get a selfie with you?”

“And why would you want a selfie with me?”

“You're on TV right? This is quite the story, trapped in an elevator with some guy from wrestling TV.”

“I'm an overlord actually. Of Wednesday Night Warfare...”

The two got to talking, we cut back midway through a conversation where James is ranting about something random for not really any reason.

“And don't get me started on premature ejaculation. They say that 25 percent of men suffer from premature ejaculation...”

“Yeah and 100 percent of me hates statistics...”

“What I want to know is who the fuck is blabbing about having premature ejaculation? I mean surely that stat is extremely unrealistic. Who's actually admitting to that? It's like they say most men last only five and half minutes in bed... I'm Sorry... What!? Who the fuck is wearing a stop watch in the bedroom? Oh darling, you're going to be so pleased, 8 minutes and 11 seconds, it's our new personal record... Sheesh give me a break.”

Archie chuckled slightly as James went on talking and talking.

“It's like this time at college right, there was a rumour going around that this girl got fucked in both of her ears by these two guys in order to avoid vaginal sex because she was catholic or some shit... I know, the sluttiest catholic ever having the weirdest threesome of all time, but if you think that's bad two weeks later she was diagnosed with hearing AIDs...”

Archie laughed slightly.

“Get it, because like you know how deaf people get hearing AIDs but AIDs is also a sexually transmitted disease, funny right?”

"Yes I get it, shut the fuck up.”

Suddenly the elevator doors opened and they weren't stuck anymore.

“Oh thank fuck, I couldn't stand being in there for a minute longer.”

Archie enjoyed a joke but this was getting too much.

“HEY! I thought we were having fun.”

“Oh shut the cunt up.”

“Look i'm not looking for an argument but if you want my come back you should scrape it out of your mums hair.”

“What the fuck!?”

“haha just kidding man, good luck in your match by the way.”

“Thanks, do you still want that selfie then?”

“YAY!”

Archie posed for a photo with the tall man, who was giggling away at the horrendous situation that had occurred previously.

“Thanks man!”

Archie smiled and shook his head before strolling off.

A message to the other Gms.

Archie stands clearly in the centre of the screen still wearing a suit.

“Giovanni, Heyman, Tigris. There is nothing I want more than to kick the shit out of the three of you. I really couldn't care less about winning the match to be honest, as long as I get to put my knee into one of your temples...

Heyman, meat loaf, same thing. I am genuinely scared you're going to go all Jerry Lawler on us and have a heart attack or all J.R and have a stroke or something. Is it really wise for a walking talking lump of lard to try and wrestle? Tigris is going to struggle to wrestle anyway... being female and all that.

Speaking of Tigris, that maniac still thinks Gio stole her cup cake. Well you dosey bitch it was actually me! I'm like the greatest villain of all time or some shit.

Gio, you really think that I lack passion? Thank you for reinforcing my opinion that you're actually extremely dumb considering the fact that you're a GM. You haven't seen me in that ring. I transform. My blood becomes venom and every vile bone in my body becomes a weapon to inflict pain with.”

Archie rips off his tie and throws his suit jacket away.

“Just because I'm not a prancing fucking fairy doesn't mean that I lack passion. It means that I am usually reserved. Well you better be prepared for true passion because I am going to inflict pain on you like no other man has before. We might be partners usually but for one night only we are enemies... You think I am half robot because I'm so cruel? Well you haven't seen the half of it yet.”

The shot cuts with Archie staring directly into the camera, sweating from his rage.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode What a lump of cunt
Author	Message