Hello everybody my name is Roger and on this bright and sunny day where the sun was blanketed in smog I was doing a thing that I have been doing a lot of lately and that is following a trail of bird seed that bitch Joseph Gordon-Levitt had left to lead me to a clue about another Roger or Joseph in need of saving from wicked assassins when all of a sudden I heard a sound that sounded like what a sumo wrestler might sound like if he were smashed through a wall and hurtling towards the very spot that I stood but that was of course impossible because I didn't even know any sumo wrestlers so I had a wee pause to munch on my honey roasted cashews and have a think about the bizarre situation I had found myself in while out of my leisurely investigation but that sound kept sounding and so I looked left and I looked right and I looked backwards and I looked forwards and I even looked diagonally but there were no sumo wrestlers in sight and when I had a look down and saw I was standing on a sheet of metal that covered a manhole I thought that maybe the sumo wrestler was in the direction I hated most out of all the directions so I looked up and sure enough there was a sumo wrestler there so I did what I do best and skidded out of the way and lo and behold the sumo wrestler crashed into the metal sheet and it acted as a catapult of sorts that sent me flying through the air and spilled my sweet and crunchy cashews but I could not collect them all because I was flying up and up further and further past all of the other things that are up in the air like the fate of the Television Championship and who Seb Ass Chin will choose as his tag team partner and the due date of my child who my darling Molly has carried inside her womb for twenty four months and after I had passed all of those things I thought to myself that I could be in for a rough landing so I did what I learned when the diabolical mind master tried to master my mind and I tucked my chin in and flew through a sumo wrestler sized hole in a nearby building and landed head first because I am the master of my own mind thank you very much and as it turns out there was a human underneath my head or at least I think it was a human but I was a wee bit stunned so I just lay there a while on top of the maybe human until the birds stopped circling above me.