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BIG PREESH · (10-26-2025)

We see Solomon Kline standing in front of a brick wall, as people often do.

He's playing on his phone or something, it isn't important. Probably one of those games where you combine different gems into bigger gems or whatever and then watch fifteen minutes of ads for other games exactly like it, or maybe it's, like, an army growing bigger and bigger based on which number you make them walk into. You get the drill.

Again, not important.

But seriously those games are stupid and it's dumb that he's wasting his time on them. He could read a book or watch a movie or learn a trade... but here he is, waiting impatiently to skip an ad and go back to making candy disappear.

Totally not important though, my bad.

Anyway he's standing there and there's the wall I mentioned and, OH, you know what? I bet it's Angry Birds. Or maybe Flappy Bird. Remember Flappy Bird? That was wild. Why were so many of them bird themed?

Getting sidetracked again, sorry. Definitely not important, not why we're here.

Get it together, man.

Solomon. Wall. Cell phone game designed to make you waster away your days while you wait for more spins or rolls or turns or moves... like wtf, right? Don't you WANT me to play your stupid games? Why are you making me wait twelve hours for another go?

Shit, sorry.

"oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

It sounds like it's coming from pretty far away, definitely on the other side of that wall, though. Kline kinda notices, but he's pretty wrapped up in the Angry Candy League or whatever it is.

That sound is definitely getting louder though.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Kline is curious enough to actually put his phone in his pocket, which is a miracle honestly, especially if he's past level 50 or something - that's a lot of work to have to redo.

Kline looks at the wall and leans his head toward it, listening as the sound grows...

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

He looks concerned, and moves to leave, but it's too late...

"OHHHH YEAHHHH!!!!"

BIG PREESH busts through the wall, knocking Kline to the ground underneath the rubble. And he's not alone! He's got another big guy with him!

Preesh shout talks to the cameraman.

"YO DAWG, this here's my cousin BIG UPS! I told him he could be the X Champ just like I was! Go getcha some, Ups!"

Big Ups does the Dougie.

"Thanks Preesh! I wish I knew a way to colloquially show my gratitude using current slang!"

Ups then hits a senton on Kline and goes for the pin!

1!

2!!

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode BIG UPS TO BIG PREESH
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