WEP-WEP

The alarm on MC C-Munqqquee and Li’l Ca$h-App’s Bugatti chirps when Munq presses the key fob. Da Bing Bong Twinzz head across the parking lot towards the Cracker Barrel.

“Yo bro, I was thinking now that me and Lexi are definitely back together and making love on a daily basis, I might add ‘Da Gawd’ to my rap name. What you think?”

“Damn bro I like that. I was actually thinking of adding to my name too. Maybe right i the middle add a ‘Pimp Nasty?’ Or do you like ‘Freak Dawg’ better?”

“Shiiiiii that’s a good question little bro them’s both sick AF fr fr.”

“Shiiiiii fr fr for sure.”

The twins walk inside the Cracker Barrel and come to a complete stop just inside the front door.

“Bro wtf is this?”

“What in the Mathias Syn is this woke shit?”

The place is completely remodeled. Bland and sanitary. The minimalist decor is a total 180 from what the restaurant used to look like. No more shelves full of kitsch, no more old man sitting next to a big barrel. It’s basically a Denny’s but with the decorative aesthetic of a veterinarian’s euthanasia room.

“Bro this is whack, bro. They even took the little triangle game off the tables, bro.”

“Fuck all this shit, we goin’ to Waffle House.”

---

A few minutes later the Bugatti pulls up into the lot of the Waffle House on Pelham Road.

WEP-WEP

The twins head inside and give a sigh of relief as the place is exactly the same as it always has been. Greasy and comfortable. C-Munq high fives the panhandler out front on the way in.

“Yo wattup, Gums? You still huffing your own jenkem?”

“Errday. You wanna sniff young buck?”

“Nah fam, we good.  If we wanted to smell a pile of hobo shit we would just enter a battle royal with a bunch of XWF betas.”

“Oh shit bro we did do that.”

“Damn bro you are right. I guess we will have to stink like shit when we go to Relentless and get a bunch of low talent low testosterone low tax bracket hands put on us on our way to a surefire victory. Who the fuck gon’ stop us?”

“Sure as shit won’t be Razor Blade. Why ain’t old ass John Blade here in this shit instead of his little Dennis the Menace lookin’ ass brother or nephew or whatever? That boy don’t look like he can even lock his arms out straight with two hundred on the bar.”

“You know he takes a strap-on pegging from Latoya Hixx before bedtime every night, bro, you can just tell by lookin’ at him.”

“Who the fuck is Taco?”

“It’s a damn pig, bro. We could cook and eat that fatass punk if we dined on swine. But we don’t, obviously.”

“Obviously. Also Liam Roberts is a bitch.”

“A whole bitch. You would needa stuff Mini Morbid inside Ari Silverstein’s asshole to make another bitch like Liam.”

“Reggie Estrada too. He looks like that hatchet wielding hitchhiker from Netflix but with AIDS.”

“I’m hungry bro let’s get these hash browns.”

The twins grab their laminated menus and sit down to be served.