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Ari Silverstein · **09-09-2025, 07:13 AM**

"Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyello?"

Ari is wheeling his mail-filled postal wheelbarrow down the XWF hallways, SLANGIN' that ish to everyone that needs it as is promised in the United States Constitution. The knockoff Beats are around his neck, pulled off his ears so he could answer his phone. We can hear the sound of his own voice rapping in the Beats, because he's listening to his own music.

"Yeah yo wass good, homes? I'm about seven loops 'til the end of my route, you feel me? Nah son don't even play that BS, you seen my 3996! I needed extra time today, playa! Don't make me call my union steward!"

Ari hangs up but the phone immediately rings again.

"WHAT I JUST TOLD YOU IS STILL TRUE! Now I need ten more minutes for this nonsense... oh. Hey Vinnie! I thought it was my dumbass supervisor at the PO. I been trying to tell them this route is overburdened, man, because this building like... it keeps getting bigger! And it changes every day! When did y'all get a botanical garden? Did you know there's a gardener?? And he's got a mailing address??? Y'all gotta help me out, man... oh, that ain't why you called? You need me to what!!?? WRESTLE!!?! My man, you can't just put me in a random ass battle royal to replace a ham sandwich and a bunch of squirrels! Hello? HELLO??? This man hung up... unbelievable..."

Ari puts his phone in his pocket and walks around a corner of the hallway that is apparently brand new. He sees Tommy Wish with the X-Treme Title!

"Shit, might as well..."

Ari slams the wheelbarrow into Tommy and mail goes everywhere! He cracks Wish over the head with a large box and it knocks him clean out! The box opens and a baseball bat falls out.

"Glad it wasn't a dildo this time. Finally things are going the mailman's way!"

Ari sits on Tommy's belly and orders a referee on Amazon, and it arrives immediately.

"Ain't that some shit?"

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