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Ari Silverstein · **01-04-2018, 06:43 AM**

Ari looks shocked.

"You're a vet? Well bro-heem, I thank you for your service, but I'm gonna have to take a knee on pumping any lox into your bagel there, friend! For one thing, I definitely do not meet your size requirement. Not at 60 degrees anyway. Catch me on Miami Beach and I'm hung like one of Moses' own camels, just minus the foreskin, but not in this arctic circle. Also, if you wanted me to get lost in your desert for 40 days and 40 nights, that would cost you a few shekels, you feel me? I ain't gay, but money sure is green. Seriously though, my man, what exactly have you been backing that ass up into? I have never seen an asshole with stretch marks before. Did you get passed around the Golden State Warriors' locker room after game seven? Were you on BLACKED? You were on BLACKED weren't you? Well, Mazel Tov for surviving I guess."

Ari adjusts his yarmulke.

"What I am also really impressed by is that the inside of your shitbox seems to have arched cathedral ceilings. That's not cheap, bro. And are those stained glass windows? I bet you've definitely had a few priests in that confessional. You gentiles are always opening your mouths for the body of Christ, but I didn't know he used the back door too! I might have to think about getting baptized if there's really just a steady stream of willing bitch ass quivering at the thought of being filled by the King of the Jews, nah'm sayin? Anyway gimme."

Ari swats Reno over the dome with a huge vibrating package addressed to Scully, then pins him.

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