"Ey ey ey ey eyyyyyyyyyyyyo!"

A blurry shot, taken from a handheld camera captures XWF newcomer Shaun Crowe draped in flashy colored clothing. A television behind him displays scrambled pornography and an unnamed dubstep track plays in the background.

"IT'S YA BOI Shaun Crowe here with a little bit 'a dat OPEN. CHALLENGE. SUH-WAG and bros I can't begin to tell ya how GOOD it feels to be in the XWF! Now now, I ain't gonna bore ya with my sappy bullshit nah, that ain't me. I just wanna know who's ready to step into dat ring cuz I'm in the mood to eat somebody's asshole like my name was Joey Chestnut dawg! Uhhhh, shit that came out wrong."