I sent the following PM to Jenny;

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I've been extremely sick and depressed lately. I wrote half of it, but I was about to faint and needed to get some rest. When I woke up it was 2 pm. I'm seriously sorry. I might have to take a break till I recover. I seriously apologize, and I know you deserve a helluva lot more than that. If you're furious with me i understand. This is what I had so far...

-***-

Jenny. Dear, sweet Jenny... we meet again. Last time, I failed miserably. Honestly, as I mentioned before, loss and dissapointment have shrouded my career... one more in the line of many, right? Wrong. I'm looking to begin again, reinvigorated , and Jenny? Hate to break it to you kid, but you're step one on the staircase to MY redemption.....thank you.

I was born in a Manger on Christmas day.

Ok, you got me. I was born in some backwater, shit hole city in the south. The people there despised me, either due to how i looked so differently, or because I've never been one to hide the real me. I'm open about every part that makes me into the person i am today.

From birth my parents could tell I was different from the others. Halloween was my favorite holiday, as it was the one day of the year I could walk the streets, hiding nothing. Being an open book, my mom constantly had to comfort me, as the kids at school dragged me down. I could always count on her to be the one to pick me back up...while on the other side of the spectrum, my father would beat her each night for giving birth to a "", till she'd had enough and walked out.

Dad quickly brought in my babysitter as his "roommate". He stopped paying attention to me entirely, which I suppose was a miracle because it meant the torture had come to an end...

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I post the previous to display that I did try my best, but I've slept most of the last few days. I'm hoping the tag match will still take place, but I know this is the second time I've no-showed since my return... and I've only had three matches this go around, so yeah... I love this place more than any other fed, and I was seriously overjoyed to return, I had a bunch of ideas... I'm hoping this didn't ruin my chance... or worse, drop me off the roster.

Hope you feel about and always remember real life comes first. There's no need to apologize stuff happens.

Sorry to hear you've been having a rough time. You're welcome to keep trying here and RP for the tag match if you'd like to stay active. Since it's on Warfare you have a lot of time to get some work up, especially if you start soon instead of waiting for the last few days.

I'm not mad at you, I was just confused. I saw that you were on the boards as "Posting a new thread" all day, and I was concerned. I didn't want to get deadlined. I had to wait 48 hours because I had already posted two and was hoping for some competition. I understand that real life comes first, and I didn't know you were feeling so down.

I hope to face you again in the future when you are feeling better.

Over the past five years, I've been in ten or so mental clinics for mental issues like schizo-effective, bipolar, severe depression... and now whenever I try to eat, I can't keep it down, I have sleeping issues, and a few other things that I think the meds have begun. I take like, fifteen pills every day. >__< i just can't bring the fire I had before, but I'm working on it.

if that's not bad enough, my computer crashed and I have to rp on my cell, but I'm willing to try. I was worried you'd all be pissed off... i was here in 2013 and my attitude led me to being cast out. I returned in 2014 and was doing decently in comparison, but i left to be in a clinic. Now that I'm back, I lost my return match against Jenny, and now I've lost the rematch. You deserve much more, Jen. Here's hoping the tag match will kick ass and I'll be able to show you my real work.

Thank you guys for your understanding. Peace. <3