Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

Mark Flynn · (08-30-2021)

Jim Caedus is relaxing in his house, lounging back on his couch.

The title belt has its own space in the loveseat at a ninety degree angle from Caedus.

Suddenly, there's a knock on the door.

Jim wasn't expecting guests...

All of a sudden, the door swings open. It's North Korean War Criminal, wielding a lockpick.

"Ah, Jim Caedus, just the man we were looking for!"

Rolling in behind him through Caedus' front door is Mark Flynn... and an XWF official.

Flynn stays in the entry way, waves politely at Caedus, but remains standing, since he hasn't been invited to sit down.

NK, alternatively takes a seat on the couch next to Caedus.

"Okay, NK. We're at Caedus'... although I think breaking in defeats the point of knocking. What's this cool thing you wanted me to see?"

NK lights up remembering it.

"Oh yes, Mark Flynn! You simply must see this. It's the most amazing thing I've ever seen."

NK points toward Jim.

"Attempt to pin Jim Caedus."

Flynn eyes Caedus warily.

"I think I'll pass."

NK shakes his head and wags his finger.

"No no, Mark Flynn. You simply must experience this."

"What am I going to experience?"

NK is so excited he's shaking.

"Jim Caedus will kick-out!"

...

Flynn squints, unimpressed.

"Yeah, I figure."

"No, you don't understand. It'll be juuuuuust before the count of 3."

"...Yeah, NK. I get how the belt works. He'll kick out at 2."

"NO! MARK FLYNN! YOU HAVE TO TRY IT! He won't kick out at 2! He'll kickout at like 2.99999999997 or something inhumanly close!"

NK pulls out a stopwatch.

"This is our best shot at setting a World Record for Closest Unsuccessful Pin Attempt!"

Flynn sighs.

"Okay, sure."

Flynn looks at Caedus, apologizing with his eyes for this awkward scenario. Before leaning over...

"WAIT! STOP!"

Flynn hesitates just inches from Caedus' chest.

"Are you wearing your parachute?"

"...NK, we're on the first floor."

"Safety first."

Flynn sighs.

***

After three minutes of Flynn, NK and the XWF official all securing themselves with parachutes, Flynn rests his arm across Caedus' chest.

NK starts the stopwatch.

The official counts along with the watch.

1...

...

...

...

2...

...

...

...

JimCaedus · (08-31-2021)

What in the multiverse is going on here!?

The ref's hand freezes at a nearly imperCEPTIBLE distance from the floor and the three count- a 2.99999999997 count to be exact -as his, Flynn's and NK's heads all twist to the still wide open front door and spot none other than Jim's magically delicious girlfriend Arcana standing there with a face awash in anger.

Jim, despite being seated and pinned, somehow begins to wag his ass in excitement.

Baby talk voice. Come here poopy, come here! Flynn and NK exchange confused looks. Come here boy!

Jim KICKS OUT and gallops on all fours to Arcana, immediately humping her leg. With a flick of her sorceress wrist, she changes "Jim" back into Chewie, Jim's pet Lhasa Apso...still humping her leg.

So much for the "guard dog" spell warning off cat burglars... If you're looking for Jimmy, he isn't here, he's out with Apex-Legacy and I'm willing to bet he'd be none too thrilled to find the two of you in his house. Considering I promised him I'd keep an eye on the place while he was gone, I know exactly what to do with you...

She rolls up her sleeves- well, she has no sleeves, she's wearing a sleeveless skimpy outfit but she mimes the universal movement for "I'ma kick your ass" anyway -and steps toward the duo.

POOF!

NK and Flynn find themselves magically transported elsewhere, 10,000 feet in the air above California in free fall in fact.

Yelling, a huge grin. What did I tell you Mark Flynn? Parachutes!

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode We're Breaking a World Record Today
Author	Message