10 - 20 - 2025 LIVE FROM JIGSAW’S LAIR Ace Sky - vs - El Landerson Scaffold Match Latoya Hixx - vs - XXXVI Iron Mask Match Centurion© - vs - Atara Raven Yapapi Indian Strap Match Dickie Watson © - vs - Big D Lumberjack Match 15 Minute Time Limit WARGAMES’ CAPTAINS MATCH Scoops McGee - vs - King Kieran - vs - Betsy Granger - vs - ‘Psycho’ Solomon - vs - Jennie Nickles - vs - Isaiah King Special Guest Referee: Charlie Nickles Killer Tub Match Draft Order shall be determined in order of escape – First to Escape will have the option to choose between drafting first and drafting last

IN THE SKYBOX LOOKING DOWN AT JIGSAW’S LAIR

The Trillionaires sit around a boardroom table…

Bezos is picking a small cap, like the one a cockney orphan from a Charles Dickens novel might wear… OUT of his teeth.

Zuck is wearing a fur coat and a backwards cap, as he scrolls around on his laptop…

As Elon stares… Furiously from the skybox at the ring below…

”So.” Bezos begins… ”About this… Scarlet Verdict situation… Something must be done.”

”I dunno, homie!” Zuck flips around his laptop, showing graphs and charts pointing up. ”Analytics are POPPIN’ right now! Everybody’s click-click-clackin’ on XWF stories and news! We’re super-ultra-mega VIRAL!”

”Right.” Bezos affirms. ”But the stories they’re clicking are… XWF hires convicted murderer… XWF security pepper-sprays its own fans… XWF shows a robot murder…”

”I mean, whatevz.” Zuck shrugs… ‘shrucks’? ”I mean, is it a murder when it’s a robot? It’s not like he can feel p-”

”SHE.”

…

Elon, who has been completely silent up to this point, spins on his colleagues.

”SHE. MY GROK-I-KINS. MY CYBERNETIC CHAMPION IN THE RING AND AI GOTH GIRLFRIEND OUTSIDE THE RING… SHE DESTROYED HIM. AND THEN SHE… ” Elon’s mouth froths with rage. ”She… TOOK HER… CLAIMED HER!”

…

Bezos squints confused. ”Wait, Is a Grok a he or she?...You just used both.”

”This INDIGNITY…” Elon raises his fist, completely ignoring his co-Trillionaire’s inquiry… ”Will not be tolerated!”

”Ugh… but like…” Zuck flips through tabs to a picture of… The Nickleman!

”Like… Jennie’s Charlie’s fam, dawg! Familia, yo! And Charlie’s in the Corporation! And the Corporation is in the Trillionaires!”

…

Zuck’s eyes turn toward Bezos. ”Right? Isn’t it?”

In the time the other two trillionaires haven’t been looking at Bezos, he’s now gnawing on a very child-sized femur bone… he shrugs. ”I haven’t learned the name of a person who works for me in nineteen years. And I only learned that guy’s name because he was the first man I ever fed to my lions…”

”I’m pretty sure, tho! Charlie’s in the Corp, my dawgz! And if he’s a teammate…”

”WE DON’T HAVE TEAMMATES.” Elon barks. ”We have employees. And when they get out of line… we take them DOWN.”

…

”And Jennie Nickles. Is way…

Way…

WAY OUT-OF-LINE!”

”Well…” Bezos sighs, tucking his child femur into his coat pocket where he keeps human bones he likes to chew on… ”What do we propose we do? She’s a Captain going into a match where we just put the Universal Title on the line… She’s in prime position to get exactly what she wants… a title belt to take time off her sentence.”

”Oh… I have plans…” Musk snaps his fingers…

A door opens… And a silhouette stands in the doorway…

”Gentleman… allow me to introduce… our Contingency plan.”

The silhouette steps into the room…

The other trillionaires peer in awe…

…as the feed fades to black.

---

The arena lights dim to black. A low metallic creak echoes through the air — the unmistakable groan of chains under tension. Above the ring, a narrow, rail-less scaffold sways gently, suspended in the void. Spotlights sweep upward, capturing the precarious nature of what will become the scene for this epic fight.

JC: Look at that, Joe! That scaffold’s barely wide enough for a single step— and there’s nothing beneath them but darkness. You fall off this thing, you might not even know where you’re going to land!

JR: Yeah, that’s... that’s absolutely insane, man. I’ve seen some wild stuff in Japan, some backyard craziness on YouTube, but this? There’s no padding. No safety rails. Just two guys trusting their balance and maybe their gods. You ever done DMT, man? One time, I thought I was talking to God and I whispered my darkest secrets into his gaping maw… turns out, it wasn’t God, it was a rerun of Saved by the Bell where Zac Morris does redface an-

JC: Joe, let’s… let’s go to the match.



A rocket sculpture drops from the ceiling! The video cameras in Jigsaw’s Lair display a count down from five…

JC: Ace Sky! He’s a former world champion! He absolutely stunned, making his debut at Relentless in the Opening Night Battle Royal, where he got a shocking elimination over Dwayne “The Grok” Johnson!

JR: Ace Sky is opening his third eye and tonight he’s set to fly, my guy!

JC: Joe, just then, you were a poet and you didn’t even know it!

JR: I absolutely knew it, Jacuinde, I read that line straight off cue cards.

The podbay doors of the rocket open and Ace walks out wearing an aviator jacket that matches the dominant color of his tights, he stands with his hands clasped together in a prayer taunt then raises his arms with twin peace signs finger gesture! He salutes to the world, then points to his forehead with the Third Eye Taunt and high-fives as many fans as possible until he reaches the base of the ladder up to the scaffold…



When Booyka 619 hits, El Landerson walks out on stage and kneels down on one knee and prays. He rises up and walks across the spooky room to the other scaffold.

JC: And there’s our other competitor tonight, the Bit Luchador, El Landerson! Making his XWF debut tonight! He has his sights set on Universal champion, Kieran King! He has his sights set on Television Champion, Dickie Watson! But, tonight, he’s got a tall order, finding a way to beat Ace Sky!

JR: Every order’s a pretty tall order when you’re El Landerson’s height. He’s 5’2”, but he’s quick like a…
…

JR: Like a… a really quick thing.

JC: …I miss Brody.

As the two men reach the base of their scaffolds, they briefly make eye contact and nod, showing respect for one another…

As the two climb… Suddenly, over the very rusty speaker system hooked up through Jigsaw’s Lair…



Ace… Landerson…
You think yourself immune to gravity… You put your life on the line for the thrill of the crowd… Your disrespect for life disgusts me…
You both partake in high-risk maneuvers. But this match won’t end until one of you gambles… and loses…
Live.


Or die.

After Jigsaw consecrated their battle with his haunting benediction… both competitors crawl onto the narrow metal plank. Every step makes the structure clank and rattle, as Ace and Landerson make their way to the center of the structure…

Ace Sky - vs - El Landerson Scaffold Match

They step forward— slowly, cautiously, arms extended like tightrope walkers. The scaffold sways slightly as they shift their weight.

JC: There’s no ring ropes, no corner, no ropes to rebound off of… they’re learning an entirely new kind of gravity right now.

JR: They’re using micro-movements to feel each other out. One wrong counterbalance and they’re toast. It’s pure proprioception.

JC: C’mon, you can’t just make up words on color commentary.

JR: Jacuinde, proprioception is a perfectly cromulent word.

JC: Joe, I’m gonna look up ‘proprioception’ right now and if it’s not a word, we’re gonna have a serious conversation about professionalism and commentating… Pulling out my commentator’s dictionary now…

…

……

JR: Well?

JC: …Oh, look! The competitors are grappling!

Sky and Landerson lock up. Ace, towering over Landerson by about six inches, drops to a low stance — a Taekwondo base — and sweeps for Landerson’s ankle. Landerson hops back, regains balance, and shoots forward with a collar-and-elbow tie-up. They strain, muscles tight, scaffold trembling…

JC: This has gotta be strange and unusual for both competitors! Usually, in a lock-up, you’re shifting and circling your steps to try and break your opponent’s center of gravity…

JR: But neither of these guys have any room to shift or circle! It’s gonna come down to whose stronger, whose more technically sound, and who took their daily dose of omega-3 supplements!

JC: For sure, an-... what?

Ace rotates his stance to be perpendicular with the walkway, like a fencer, as he transitions into a wristlock, trying to twist Landerson by the arm straight off the walkway!

…But Landerson smacks Ace’s arm downward, breaking his grip, and twists Ace’s wrist behind his back into a hammerlock!

…But Landerson forcing Ace to rotate! But the torque throws both men off equilibrium—Landerson releases as the walkway sways side-to-side…

JC: Oh my God! There’s so much give to the scaffold! It’s only held in the air by loose metal chains!  What if it flips over?!?

JR: Oh man, that’d be some American Ninja Warrior shit. I hope that happens.[/white[

Both mens’ arms shoot straight out…

…Phew, the walkway swings less and less, before finding its center…

[white]JC: Phew… Folks, you can see how every technical exchange up here has double risk. Usually, in a grapple, you’re thinking about leverage—here, you’re thinking about gravity too!

JR: This is a physics problem, man. It’s like chess, but you’re playing chess on a plank and under the plank is literally Hell… Oh man, I just thought of a new sport. Jamie, can you call the Devil and see where we should setup a plank?

JC: Joe, I’ve explained to you a number of times now… this isn’t your podcast studio and Jamie isn’t here.

They reset. Both breathe deep. A hint of respect forms — a nod from Landerson, a faint grin from Ace.

Landerson lunges again, feinting high before ducking through Sky’s legs, coming up behind him for a waistlock.

But Ace leans forward, going into a wheelbarrow wheelstand, looking to dragonscrew Landerson off the side!

…HE DOES!

…But Landerson clings onto the side! And the scaffold starts to tilt over!

JC: Oh no! The whole structure could give way here!

Sky goes from his wheelbarrow handstand to desperately clinging onto the scaffold as it starts to tip… He climbs, hanging his chest over the side, to provide counterweight…

…The scaffold manages to rock back to its original position… Sky rolls himself onto his back…

And Landerson manages to pull himself back up as well! The two lie on the scaffold… frustration and exhaustion mounting for both competitors!

JC: Impressive BIT of strength there for the BIT Luchador! And amazing that Sky almost pulled a highly-agile counter to take the match right there! But you can feel the growing frustration both competitors feel with this… VERY atypical environment. Even pushing off the scaffold too hard can cost you your footing!

JR: Yeah, you can’t use traditional ring instincts here. You’re not bouncing off anything. It’s like fighting on ice… that’s also on fire.

Both men very gingerly rise to the feet… And then spin towards each other

Ace latches Landerson in another collar-and-elbow… Landerson spins and tries to throw Ace over his shoulder with a snapmare—Ace goes up and over, but lands on the back of his legs… When Landerson dive-dropkicks him in the back!

And the sudden weight shift sends the scaffold LEAPING into the air! Sky clings on for dear life… as once again, Landerson, bounced by his own leap, is clinging onto the side…

JC: Who even invented this scaffold match stipulation? This guy’s can barely fight without risking a fall to the bottom!

Landerson’s grip may give… He’s hanging on…

…

But, he latches a foot over the side and pulls himself back up!

JC: That’s a thing not everyone realizes about a scaffold match, Joe! Every time you fight to survive, it costs SO much energy! It is exhausting just staying in this one!

JR: Imagine if every time you wanted to stay in a wrestling match, instead of raising your shoulder, you had to do an unassisted pull-up. You’re right, Jacuinde, conditioning and stamina is vital in a scaffold match environment…

As Landerson’s breath heaves, doubled over, trying to recover his strength… Ace advances!

…But Landerson leaps off his feet, seeking a Flying Lariat!

…No! Ace ducks, Landerson skids to one knee, nearly losing his footing. Ace steadies him with one hand—then uses the other to SPINNING BACKFIST lightly across the mask.

[white]JC: …Did Ace just cling onto Landerson’s arm so he wouldn’t fall… and then hit him in the face? What do you make of that, Joe? A sign of confidence—or maybe a little disrespect from Ace Sky?

JR: 100% disagree with either assessment, Jacuinde. Landerson’s proven he can pull himself back up, he’s got that little man strength… Ace isn’t gonna trip him over the side, if he wants to win, he realizes he’s gotta smack him off.

…Landerson adjusts his mask on his face, fuming angry… He charges… BUT again, even a quick-step sends the scaffold rocking…

Sky points to his forehead, gesturing towards his third eye… before raising his arms…a dn lowering his arms with an exhale…

…Landerson nods, doing the same.

JC: Sky trying to help Landerson work through that hot luchador temper he has!

JR: Sky is a hippie buddhist, he knows that in chaos there is opportunity… but he also knows if Landerson keeps running like a maniac, he’s gonna fall off even if he wins! Gotta keep this little dude level and chill… and THEN huck him off!

Having successfully centered themselves… Landerson and Sky square up again. Both take slow, calculated steps. Landerson fakes another lock-up—then leaps into a Flying Hurricanrana!

As he spins, the scaffold starts rocking!

JC: Oh my! Landerson’s trying to turn this scaffold into a roulette wheel! We’re gonna have to discover the winner by figuring out which body splatted second!

…NO! As Landerson yanks his body backwards to send Ace tumbling… Ace plants his legs wide… and counters by catching Landerson mid-spin and stabilizing both their balance, then gently sets Landerson back down!

The crowd erupts.

JC: WHAT CONTROL! Ace Sky just turned a hurricanrana into a stalemate!

JR: I think that’s the first time a crowd has ever cheered a sequence where at the end… nothing happened!

The two competitors back away slowly, hands up in mutual respect as the fans chant:

“THIS IS WRESTLING! *clap clap clapclapclap*

The camera pans down into the abyss below. It’s pure black. The chains sway, the lights flicker, and you can hear the faint clatter of metal echoing somewhere in the dark.

Both men look down briefly — then up at each other.

JC: This is fight-or-flight, Joe! Both of these men are facing the fear of the fall! The thing that nags at the back of your mind when you climb as often as these two men do! But the only way one of these men is escaping is by forcing the other to come face to face with that fear!

They lock up again—fierce, desperate.

Landerson manages to hook Ace’s ankle with a quick inside sweep! Ace stumbles forward as Landerson sidesteps to let him slip over… but Ace plants both hands on the metal, catching himself inches from the edge. Landerson lunges to capitalize—Ace rolls sideways, lightning-quick, and the entire scaffold lurches!

The crowd gasps! The plank tilts! Chains scream as metal shifts.

Both men freeze—then whoosh—the entire scaffold FLIPS OVER!

JC: OH MY GOD!

JR: Yessssssss! Yes, I wanted that to happen VERY badly! …Are they dead now or what?

Cameras whip upward. The plank now hangs upside down, both men dangling beneath it like bats, clinging to the steel grating.

JR: …Awww.

JC: Landerson and Sky have flipped the scaffold over! They are both clinging onto that scaffold for DEAR LIFE! A single slip of the grip and they’ll drip into the abyss and go blip!

JR: Hey, don’t read my rhyming cue cards! Those are for me!

Landerson’s mask flutters in the air, sweat raining into the abyss below. He snarls, growling with fighting spirit, pulling himself arm-by-arm closer to Ace. Meanwhile, Ace dangles with perfect calm, breathing through his nose, eyes half-closed—the Middle Way.

Landerson swings a leg up and kicks! Ace barely shifts aside—the air whooshes by his ear.
Another kick! This time Ace catches it between his arm and ribs, using the motion to steady himself.

JC: Look at that control! Ace is centered!

Joe Rogan: He’s using leverage instead of brute force!

Landerson yanks backward, trying to free his leg—but that’s exactly what Ace wants.

He exhales, drops his weight just enough to let Landerson’s momentum pull him off-center, and then—rotates his hips.

Using the same movement that powers his “Psychedelic Spiral,” Ace rolls his body into a torque, flipping Landerson’s trapped leg into a spiral of its own.

The scaffold shakes violently—Landerson loses his grip with one hand—then the other—

JC: LANDERSON’S SLIPPING—

JR: HE’S GONE!

Landerson plummets into darkness! His mask is the last thing the camera catches before it vanishes into the void below.

The arena is dead silent for one long heartbeat—

Then Ace, still hanging upside down, slowly pulls himself up hand over hand, his body trembling from exertion. He hooks one arm over the edge, then another, and drags himself back atop the scaffold.

WINNER: ACE SKY!

JC: It’s over! ACE SKY has done it! By the grace of balance and technique, Ace Sky wins!

JR: That’s wild, man. That wasn’t just a fight—that was a masterclass in control under chaos. He didn’t overpower Landerson. He redirected him. He let the fall happen naturally. That’s the Middle Way, right there. I remember one time, I was doing whippets with Tito Ortiz and he sa-

JC: Jigsaw, go to commercial. Please. This is TORTURE!

---

Backstage, Dickie Watson is seen running through his pre-match warm-up.

A door opens with a creak that in any other circumstance might seem innocent. But here in Jigsaw's lair, darkness prevails, and Dickie has plenty of ghosts of Christmas past that could come back to haunt him in tonight’s lumberjack match.

The lustre of avaricious gold upon the alleged ghost births another horror for Dickie—being forced to spend any length of time with someone with his head so far up his own ass as Kieran King's is. Alas, the reigning King of the Universe is indeed here in the Television Champion's space.

A brief glimpse is caught of The King's imposing security force lurking just beyond the door.

As is his way, Kieran's eyes immediately find gold in the form of Dickie's TV Title.

King Kieran: Nice little prize you’ve for yourself there.

Dickie regards Kieran suspiciously.

Dickie Watson: …Thanks.

King Kieran: Hey, fun fact, back in March that title was on the line in every match the champ at the time had during the Ides of March tournament… EXCEPT the final! I have no idea why. But can you imagine what this place would be like if after dropping Aurora, I had that wrapped around my waist. You might not even be champion right now!

Dickie Watson: True. But I might just have a different title instead...

Kieran catches Dickie's eyes wandering towards his own Universal Championship.

Then, abruptly, he laughs. The line between forced and genuine has never sounded so blurred.

King Kieran: Hey, look at us!

He playfully punched Dickie's arm and continued on with his best Paul Rudd impersonation.

King Kieran: Who'd have thought?

Dickie's laugh in response is much easier to detect the authenticity of, or lack thereof.

King Kieran: Crazy thing about putting the titles on the line in War Games, eh? Unprecedented times. Doesn't seem right, does it? This petty Trillionaire Triumvirate is trying to ruin all the hard that people like you and I put in. I feel like we should maybe band together and do something about…

Dickie pauses, looking Kieran up and down.

Dickie Watson: You mean like sort of… collective action?

Kieran nods enthusiastically.

King Kieran: Exactly! You, me, Atty, TK… if all us champions banded together we might just be able to do somethi—

Dickie cuts him off. An air of sarcasm drips from his voice.

Dickie Watson: Right! Why stop there? Let's get everyone in War Games together—no, better yet, the entire company! We can organise a strike! Then they'd have to listen!

King Kieran: Well I'm not sure about that…

Dickie Watson: No of course you're not. Because Dolly Waters tried that and you threw obstacle after obstacle in front of her because it suited you. Now, the shoe is on the other foot and you come crawling back to this side for help.

Kieran's eyes flared and he took half a step closer to Dickie.

King Kieran: Do you see me crawling anywhere?[white]

Dickie didn't back down. He glanced at the XWF Security Team just outside the door.

Dickie Watson: Maybe ‘hiding’ is a better word for it.

They stared each other down for several seconds before Kieran eventually broke it off with a smile.

[white]King Kieran: It's always interesting to see the moment that someone realises they enjoy the taste of boot.

He was clearly twisting Dickie’s perspective on things.

Dickie Watson: Maybe you're right to be mad. But make sure it's at the right person. Because one person in this room could've stopped this from happening, and it's not me.

Kieran glared at Dickie, before backing towards the door.

Just before Kieran had left the room completely, Dickie added one final point.

Dickie Watson: Oh and Kieran… please don't forget that one of the reasons I put my name to Dolly’s union was because of the kick YOU had lined up for me after she and I faced.

I certainly haven't…

Scoffing Kieran slammed the door shut on Dickie Watson, leaving the Television Champion to his preparation.

The camera followed The King as he joined again with his personal army.

Tommy Gunn came rushing over.

Tommy Gunn: Your Majesty… the men were conducting their routine sweeps while you were here. When checking out the locker room prepared for you, they found this…

Tommy handed Kiersn a small piece of paper. Kieran’s eyes widened as he read it.

Tommy Gunn: Do you know what it means?

Kieran began to shout.

King Kieran: It means that somebody got in there who shouldn't have even been in the building! Which means that one of the team let somebody in that they shouldn't without checking with me first!

The King stormed to confront his men.

King Kieran: I want double the sweeps, double the questioning, and double the attention to fucking detail! Got it?!

They confirmed their understanding in unison:

“LONG LIVE THE KING!”

King Kieran: And you…

He turned his attention to Tommy.

King Kieran: Get me a new locker room. Shit, take the space over there that Dickie is warming up in if you have to!

Tommy Gunn: Yes, Your Grace.

Tommy bowed his head and set off to work.

The King meanwhile, still surrounded by his troops, looked down at the note again.

The camera panned over his shoulder.

There, in the middle of the page, a message was written in what appeared to be ash.


"Another time, dear friend…
A.


He screwed up his face, and then screwed up the paper. Tossing it to the ground, he and his men left the foreboding message behind.

And here, in Jigsaw's lair, one of the darkest pits of human-made depravity that exists… something else lurked…

Something… unknown.

Without the hand of man, the note caught fire. It burned in a bright flash before abnormally hurrying towards its end and finally fading to black.

---

JC: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this absolute spectacle — an Iron Mask Match! Both competitors will be completely blind until they can free themselves by breaking the combination on their mask! XXXVI versus Latoya Hixx — this is about to get weird!

JR: Yeah, this is insane. I’ve seen some wild stuff in MMA, but two people fighting blind, locked in iron masks? That’s another level of chaos, Jacuinde. You can’t even read your opponent’s body language!



The stage alights in red. Smoke gathers around the stage. Gods by Sleep Token plays as XXXVI appears, rising up out of the red lights amidst the smoke, his hands gathered in prayer. He steps out onto the stage and takes in the mixed reaction from the crowd. He shakes his out his head and shoulders and begins to walk down the ramp, hands still in prayer pose. Then from behind him, appears CIX. She follows him down the ramp.

JC: Here he is, the mystery man holding the Revolution Title… XXXVI! I don’t think there’s a man more dangerous in a one-on-one contest with a first-time opponent. XXXVI managed to knock off Thunder Knuckles of all people, one of the only competitors in history to hold EVERY belt in the modern era!

JR: It’s a big accomplishment, Jacuinde! And he could use all the momentum he can get for their rematch before Anarchy, where TK and a mystery opponent defend the Anarchy tags against XXXVI and his director. But, if he treats this one like a tune-up, there’s a healthy chance he’s gonna get WRECKED in the Storm!

Half way down, XXXVI spreads his hands apart and reaches out both arms in T-Pose as he crouches, sauntering down the rest of the ramp toward the ring. He climbs onto the apron, outstretches his arms and then enters, rolling backward over the top rope and spins toward the center of the ring, arms outstretched like a helicopter. He then sits, cross legged in the dead center of the ring, hands once again in prayer pose and bows his head. Full black again, then a single, red cone of light bathes him in the ring as fire explodes out of each turnbuckle. Outside the ring, CIX surveys the crowd as they await the match starting.

…






JC: Latoya’s coming off some tough outings, but every time she steps in there, she proves she’s as strong — and as unpredictable — as anyone in the XWF.

BG: And I like her odds here! Betsy’s been floatin’ around the galaxy, fightin’ moon aliens or space lizards or somethin’. Latoya’s got gravity on her side! You can’t suplex gravity, Jackie boy!


…

As the two stand in the ring… two iron masks drop from the ceiling, hanging on chains…

Suddenly, over the rusty loudspeaker… a voice rattles…

i]Latoya… XXXVI… you shield yourselves from the public… the former, with her bravado and muscular definition, hiding your deep insecurities… the latter, an enigma unknown to everyone…

But, to win this match, you must drop your shields… and reveal yourself…

Don your masks. If you do not in one minute’s time, the ring with fill with a toxic nerve agent…

…

JC: Wait, is he allowed to do that?

JR: His venue, his rules!

…XXXVI quickly dons the mask with no complaints… Latoya barks insults and heated remarks at Jigsaw’s speakers… But after a few seconds, she hurriedly puts on her mask as well.

Once they do… SNAP! The masks latch onto the back of each competitor’s head.

Now… you are as blind to the world, as the world is to your true selves… You may battle blind… or attempt to solve the combination of your mask…

The choice is yours…

…As they both gingerly step from the corners where the masks were dropped… into the spotlight at the center of the ring, their masks become more clear… XXXVI is wearing an iron-molded version of the mask he wears to the ring… And Latoya is wearing a mask that looks like a snorting enraged bull!

JC: This is so twisted, Joe! Neither competitor can see a thing in those masks!

JR: …I know. Jigsaw literally just said that.

DING DING!

LATOYA HIXX - vs - XXXVI Iron Mask Match

The moment the bell sounds, Latoya Hixx roars like a wild animal, swinging wildly at the air. KICK! HAYMAKER! STOMP!

…Each coming… NOWHERE near her opponent…

JC: Hixx’s sheer strength makes every missed blow echo through the arena like a thunderclap!

JR: If one of them made contact, she could snag the win right now! But, at the moment, she’s hits nothing but air and the mat!

Meanwhile, XXXVI crouches low, feeling the vibrations of the mat with his palms like a monk reading the earth. His movements are slow, deliberate — methodical. He takes small steps backward until his fingers brush the bottom rope.

JC: Two *thoroughly* different approaches here, Joe! While Latoya barges forward, looking for a first-round knockout… XXXVI’s not rushing in — he’s feeling it out, Joe. That’s that world-traveled discipline he’s known for.

JR: That’s smart, man. He’s using his sense of space, probably even using sound to gauge where she is. But man… he’s one wrong step away from getting obliterated by that woman’s power.

Hixx, growing frustrated, throws a massive diving lariat that catches nothing but air. She stumbles forward, crashing chest-first into the ropes. XXXVI uses the sound of the ropes creaking to guide himself — slowly climbing up to the top turnbuckle, inch by inch, feeling the turnbuckles and ropes beneath his fingertips.

The crowd murmurs as XXXVI perches high above the ring, blind but composed, trying to buy time to crack the combination on his mask. His fingers shakily feel for the dial, turning it with care… flipping through numbers on the front of his mask… seemingly listening acutely to the sounds of the tumblers for number in its correct position!

JC: The match just started and  XXXVI’s already going for the combination! He’s actually trying to unlock himself from the top turnbuckle

JR: That’s genius! The higher he is, the harder it’ll be for Hixx to find him! She’s fighting like a bull down there, and bulls can’t climb turnbuckles!

JC: In any other context, that would be the stupid-est sentence I’ve ever head, but here it makes perfect sense!

Down below, Hixx is snorting with fury, breathing hard under the heavy iron mask. She can hear movement but not place it — she charges toward the noise…

But ends up tackling the referee between the two instead!

JC: Oh no! Latoya’s got the official!

Joe Rogan: Hixx thinks the referee is XXXVI! How c- DEAR GOD, Look at the power!

Hixx hoists the referee up like a ragdoll, roaring, and launches him into the nearest corner! The referee hits the turnbuckle spine-first — and collides with XXXVI’s leg in the process!

XXXVI loses his balance. His footing slips off the top rope —

JC: Oh my! The referee just sent XXXVI flying off the top!

JR: Unbelievable! She still hasn’t touched him, but she might’ve just taken him down without even knowing it!

XXXVI crashes awkwardly to the mat, clutching his mask, dazed and disoriented from his skull colliding with the mask as he hit the mat... The crowd roars as both competitors are now down — one blinded by rage, the other literally blind but still scheming beneath that cold, iron shroud.

JC: XXXVI took a big hit there! Can he recover and maybe get that combination open before Hixx figures out she has him on the ropes? Right now, this is absolute madness!"

JR: I love it. I don’t even know what’s happening half the time — and neither do they!

JC: …Joe, YOU should know what’s happening in the match. You’re not in an iron mask.

JR: No, I mean, like globally I don’t know what’s happening. Like explain Palestine to me.

JC: …Maybe later.

Hixx’s ears perk as she hears the crash of XXXVI’s fall nearby. Her head jerks toward the noise, nostrils flaring beneath the iron plating. She starts pawing forward, sweeping her massive arms in wide arcs. Each step makes the ring creak under her power.

XXXVI, slow to recover, peels himself off the mat like a man meditating through pain. He senses Hixx’s presence through the vibrations — the faintest shuffle of boots closing in.

JC: XXXVI is as still as a church mouse… as Hixx tries to hunt him down like a minesweeper!

Hixx’s heavy foot plants near XXVI’s head.

Without hesitation, XXXVI snaps upright, raising his head — CLANG! — a vicious headbutt straight down onto Hixx’s foot!

JC: Oh my goodness! A headbutt — to the foot!

JR: Incredible! He can’t see a thing, but he’s weaponizing the mask itself! That’s some straight-up kung fu strategy — using pain as a signal! If Frank Mir even fought in the Octagon while wearing an iron mask, that’s exactly the sort of shit he’d do!

Hixx howls, clutching her foot and hopping on the other leg — the whole ring bouncing from her movement.

XXXVI listens for the rhythm of her steps — the uneven thud-thud, thud-thud — and charges forward! His shoulder connects hard into the side of her leg, chopblocking her to the mat!

JC: He found her leg by sound! XXXVI, while completely blind, is pulling an incredible sequence of moves to take Hixx down!

JR: He’s fighting by feel and frequency! Like that famous blind guy… Stevie Wonder![/white]

Hixx groans, clutching her knee in pain as XXXVI crawls forward, trying to orient himself. He plants his hands, re-centers his breathing, and then dives forward—— going for Third Eye Bind (Romero Special)!

But — Hixx hits the mat, ducking down! XXXVI goes over!

JC: Oh! Hixx dove out of the way! Is she detecting XXXVI now?

JR: I think she just ducked cuz she was tired of getting knocked down!

Instead of locking in the submission, XXXVI crashes face-first into the ropes and bounces awkwardly back.

As XXXVI rebounds off the ropes, Hixx, half on instinct, half on fury, shoves off the mat… throws her arms forward. Her hands somehow snag XXXVI by the waist.

JC: HOLY COW! Hixx got him!

With a guttural roar, Hixx heaves him upward in a display of raw, monstrous strength — then launches him backward with a…

HELLACIOUS FALLAWAY SLAM!

JC: Are you kidding me?! She couldn’t even see him, but she just threw him halfway across the ring!

JR: Hixx could get the three… if she hadn’t just launched her opponent where she can’t find him!

XXXVI crashes to the mat with a thud, rolling toward the ropes as the crowd explodes in disbelief…. The throw again launches his skull against the inside of his own ironmask… He falls back quasi-conscious against the mat…

Hixx falls to her knees, palming the mat, desperately trying to feel her way to her opponent to secure a three-count… The official slowly dizzily shoves himself off the mat, stumbling back towards the fight..

Straight into Hixx’s grip! Hixx takes down the official by the ankle, forcing him against his shoulders for a three-count!

JC: No! For the second time in a row, Hixx accidentally attacks the official, trying to find XXXVI!

JR: I’d say someone should put a bell on that guy, but I think that’d only make it more likely for Hixx to hear and then attack him!

As Hixx barks at the ref to count the pin on… the ref…  XXXVI breathes hard, head swimming. His hands shakily rise to the combination lock on his mask. He feels out the cool, hard metal — his gloved fingers twitching over the dials. Slowly, carefully, he turns them.

JC: XXXVI has a moment to work with the combination and free himself from that iron mask that looks like his own mask!

JR: How’s he supposed to get himself freed? It’s a four digit number code! He could have hours and not figure out th-

Click.
Click.
Click.
Click.

0… 0… 3… 6.

The lock snaps open. The mask loosens.

JR: …Oh. The combo on the iron mask that looks like XXXVI’s mask is… 36.

JC: …You okay, Joe?

JR: Huh? Oh no, I’m fine. That’s just… That’s so smart, it comes back around to being stupid.

JC: Either way! He’s done it! XXXVI’s cracked the code!p

XXXVI’s breathing steadies. He feels the weight of the mask loosen, air rushing cool and free…. XXXVI lifts the heavy iron contraption off his head…

Just as a thunderous smack echoes through the arena.

Latoya Hixx, still blinded and furious, has released the official, after he finished explaining he’s not her opponent… Hixx slaps her chest and stomps the mat, psyching herself up.

[whiteJC: Oh no, Hixx is still in it — and she’s winding up for something big!

JR: "She doesn’t even know where he is, she’s running on pure adrenaline!

With a scream, Hixx charges across the ring — all power, no precision — and launches her leg high into the air!

…XXXVI lowers the mask back onto his head!

JC: What the HELL? XXXVI has OPTED to re-blind himself!

BICYCLE KICK!

…XXXVI LEANS INTO THE KICK!

JC: What?!?

WHAM! Hixx’s boot connects flush with XXXVI’s face — but the crowd gasps as the metallic CLANG rings out through the arena!

JR: Oh my GOD — he turned the mask into a weapon! Her foot hit solid steel! That’s so Frank Mir!

JC: Joe, I just got a text message from Frank Mir and he said stop mentioning him, he wouldn’t do any of what you’re saying.

Hixx howls, hopping backward, cradling her leg in agony. The impact reverberates off her shin like she just kicked a cannonball.

XXXVI tosses off the mask… and sees his vulnerable opponent. He seizes the opening — snaring her skull, twisting them into the THIRD EYE BLIND!

JC: He’s got her! He’s got her locked in!

JR: That’s that Romero Special! He’s got her dead to rights, center of the ring!

Latoya slams her fists into the mat, screaming, but she can’t reach the ropes — can’t see them, can’t find them. Her strength begins to fade under the strain.

XXXVI wrenches back one last time…

…

AND LATOYA PASSES OUT!

WINNER: XXXVI

JC: XXXVI WINS IT! XXXVI has survived the Iron Mask Match!

JR: What a performance! He beat her using the very tool meant to blind him — he used the mask as part of his strategy! That’s next-level awareness, Jacuinde!

---

JC: Folks, this next match… ooooooh, it’s gonna get intense!

JR: That’s putting it mildly, Jacuinde! This one may no longer be for the X-Treme title, but it’s certain to get X-TREEEEEEEEEME!

Centurion - vs - Atara Raven Yapapi Indian Strap Match

We open to a grimy, tiled room with a bathtub filled with stagnant water and a foul-smelling toilet.

Three bodies lie on the floor, 2 connected by a long leather strap on either side of the room. The third, lies still in a pool of blood.

The man rises first with a groan, putting a hand to his head and pushing back his hair with a groan.

JC: It appears Centurion is the first to wake up!

BG: The veteran wrestler is probably used to waking up early from hangovers, today is just a usual Sunday for him!

Centurion looks around the room and tugs at the strap attached to his wrist, rousing the delicate body of Atara Raven who jolts awake at the pull. She scowls at Cent before rubbing her temple getting up to a knee.

BG: And Atty has decided to join us from her beauty sleep.

JC: And I suppose the third body in the room is our referee for this evening.

As Centurion and Raven get to their feet, the third body does not move at all.

BG: Was our referee, Jackie. Looks like our competitors are on their own for getting out of this puzzle.

After a brief staredown; Centurion’s eyes flick to the strap and he wraps the leather around his wrist and pulls back with both hands to drop Atara onto her front and The Champ sprints over the fallen referee and to Atty’s prone body, using the strap to create a hoop and hooking it over Raven’s neck and wrenching back with a boot placed against her back.

BG: Centurion trying to waste no time here! He wants to get the dub and get the hell out of Jigsaw’s lair!

Atara’s feet fail to find purchase on the tiles as the strap tightens around her throat.

Centurion reels back and lifts Atara up a little.

Which Raven uses to her advantage, throwing her legs forward and getting to her feet throwing her head back into Centurion! The champ loses his grip as he falls back and Raven spins around with an elbow to Centurion’s jaw knocking away into the wall and Raven in a fury lines up a straight punch!

JC: THE PRIAPUS PUNCH!

A ruthless groin shot doubles over Centurion and Atara quickly follows up with a knee to the face before grabbing Centurion by the collar and belt and hurling him into the nearby bathtub.

Centurion splashes into the tub and flails as Atara pushes him down under.

BG: This match has certainly shown a more ruthless side from each competitor!

JC: Gold is on the line, Brody. These two want glory and to get out of this hellhole at any cost.

Centurion’s arms fall under the water as Raven lifts an eyebrow and briefly relaxes her grasp.

Only to be struck by a backscratcher as Cent’s arm bursts from the tub!

JC: Man, Cent would have been a great X-Treme champion! Great use of improvised weaponry there!

Centurion sits up gasping for air as he looks at his belt before escaping the tub.

Atara stumbles dazed, dabbing the blood from her eyebrow.

Centurion charges Atty with the back-scratcher and knocks her to the ground with a nasty shot to the skull, kendo-stick style. Cent breathes deeply for a moment, spitting on the ground before tossing the bathing implement aside before forcing Atara up to her feet and lifting her onto his shoulders.

JC: THOUSAND MILE SLAM!

Centurion looks for his signature!

BG: COUNTERED!!!

Atty slips out gracefully wrapping Cent in the strap; it hooking around his right arm and neck as Atara leans forward forcing Cent into her back as he chokes the life out of the champ!

JC: Insane maneuver from Atara Raven! She has Centurion trapped!

Cent tries to push himself forward but Raven has the leverage as Centurion slips on the wet tiles.

His face turns a bright red as he can’t struggle free.

Raven’s arms shake, countering Cent’s weight.

Until Centurion puts a foot against the wall to the side of them and pushes with all his might! Both competitors fall to the ground, Atara winded as Cent’s weight falls on her.

Both groan as they hit the tiles but Atara quickly scrambles to her feet as Centurion gets to a knee; Raven lets off a side kick but Centurion ducks under the blow and stands up, grabbing the leather and whipping Raven’s stomach. The strike echoed through the tiny room with a horrendous sound.

An open palm finds Raven’s jaw and stands her up straight as Centurion flicks the strap and hurls a loop over Atara’s body.

Raven throws her body forward catching Cent with a forearm but the champ fires back with a chop across Atty’s sternum; Raven backs off briefly as Centurion motions the strap some more.

Raven shakes the sting of pain away and seethes in anger, she rushes and jumps up looking for a knee strike but Centurion was prepared! Rug pulling Atara with the leather strap and hooking Raven’s leg forcing her to the ground!

The wind leaves Atara’s lungs as she lands on her back with a mighty thud!

Cent pulls back on the leather tightening the reins on Atara as grabs her ankles and locks in-

JC: FALL OF ROME!!!!

Atara wails in agony locked in the hold, the leather constraining her movement.

Centurion pulls back with all his strength, forcing screams of pain out of Raven!

Atara fights back as much as she can…

To no avail!

And finally she taps!

A bell sounds and Centurion falls forward in exhaustion.

WINNER - CENTURION!

JC: Centurion gets the win!

BG: With some effort! But… Who called for the bell!?

Centurion pants on the ground, raising an arm in victory; behind him a grotesque noise sounds. The body in the center of the room comes slowly to life but only the upper half as the legs stay static.

Centurion looks on in horror as the torso stands.

BG: OH MY GOD! ZOMBIE!!! And one of them gross one wheres it just the upper half!

The now awakened corpse wipes the blood from its face as it steps away.

JC: That’s no zombie! THAT’S BIG DICK LICHTER!

Lichter steps to the steel door blocking the room and pulls out a key opening it and turning to Centurion.

BIG DICK: I told Atara to demonstrate Anarchy’s superiority… Since she failed…

He steps outside the room as Centurion stares in disbelief.

BIG DICK: How about you both stay here and think about not pissing me off again.

Before Centurion can react, the door slams shut and the room goes dark.

---

JC: Folks, this next match is going to be a doozy!

JR: I like the word ‘doozy’. I was going to call it a ‘harrowing experience where two men are faced with the sins of the past and must reckon with the journey behind them before they can proceed ahead’...

JC: …

JR: …’doozy’, though. That’s good, too.



As "Vengeance" by Power Glove begins to play over the PA system, spotlights begin to shine all over the arena of a 'D'. After a moment, Big D walks onto the entrance ramp. He puts his arms in the air, before heading down the aisle, focused on the ring.

JC: Big D looked absolutely DOMINANT at the Relentless Opening Night Battle Royal! He lead the match in eliminations, I think, scoring three, tossing out Mini Morbid, Reggie Estrada, and working with Clutch Cassidy to co-eliminate Liam Roberts!

JR: He was the sharpest he’s looked, maybe in his whole career! And that’s with a former XWF World championship run on his resume! AND he’s one of the winningest TV champs ever… But, can Big D take out one of the most dominant Television champions we’ve ever seen?

He then walks up the steel steps and climbs into the ring, before walking over to a corner, climbing to the second rope, and putting his arms in the air once again. After that, he hops down and waits.





The lights die without warning. Not a fade, but a full blackout that sucks the air out of the arena like the calm before a fire. Then, a strobing light, lime green, flares beneath the metal of the floor. Another, quicker and sharper. A third, holding longer now. Long enough for the crowd to catch a glimpse of the static forming on the screen overhead.

The distorted bass of “DEATHLIST” by Code: Pandorum and GHØSTKID blares across the arena’s speaker system low, grinding and industrial. It doesn't start like music, but more like a warning. Like the hum of something broken beneath concrete.The speakers rattle, and with them the crowd begins to stir as the opening continues to play, rhythmic and angry. Noise from the crowd rolls through like a cold draft in a sealed room, a few cheers, a few chants. But mostly unease.

"Do I love you? Or do I hate you?
Can I trust you without failing you?
Gonna tell you what the secret is...
You're number one on my DEATHLIST."

Whispered, the lyric doesn't rise above the crowd but cuts under it, precise and personal. The music drops out completely, not a fade, and not a glitch, just the same as the lights as they die out entirely. But then, detonation as the bass slams back in without warning, twisted and violent, louder than before. Strobe lights erupt in a manic wash of toxic green, casting sharp, flickering shadows across the sate. It's disorienting, like a spotlight wielded as a weapon. Motionless in that moment, Dickie Watson stands framed in light. No grand pose, no war cry, hair falling in his face and shoulders loose like man who doesn't need to prove he belongs here -- he already knows he does.

JC: And there he is! Dickie Watson! He found a way to put down the WOLF that is Sarah Wolf to win this belt… and he fended off the Tactilizing One, Larry Tact, in an absolute barn-burner! Dickie Watson is ascending the mountain that is the XWF, one level at a time!

JR: Dickie’s been killing it, no doubt, Jacuinde! But, Big D is a challenge all his own! He’s unpredictable, he’s got decades in the biz… and he can hit that Dan Slam from about a thousand different spots, in and around the ring! The moment you think you’ve got Big D contained, that’s when he’s the most dangerous!

Dickie holds this, eyes floating over everyone, and then moves a beat later. Not with urgency, not with showmanship. Just steps forward like the rest of the world is moving slower than him. He doesn't look to the sides, doesn't soak it in. He's not here for the moment, he's here for the thrill. Every movement is precise, like a blade being unsheathed. Quiet, measured. He walks down the ramp towards the ring, eyes still glancing off to the side, turning his head slightly to acknowledge fans and enemies alike. At the barricade, he reaches out and slaps a few hands not necessarily out of respect, but more of obligation. These are the people who kept him alive for so long, and what he does this for.

He rounds the corner to right, bypasses the steps, and jumps, both feet hitting the apron in one clean lift. Without grabbing the ropes, without pause, he slings himself over the top and lands near the dead center of the ring, bent knees taking the brunt of his leap. He circles the ring once, loose-limbed, cracking his neck slightly, and stops. Near the far corner, he crouches with his elbows on his knees, fingers dangling in-between as his music fades.

…

As our two opponents face off… the rusty loudspeaker echoes again…

”D… Watson… you both have competed for decades… leaving in your path victims that never recovered from facing you… or legends who have made their names off defeating you… Today, you face your pasts… And the victor shall be the man who can face the road behind him… and not blink.”

As Jigsaw concludes his twisted benediction, from down the ramp enter… shambling figures… wearing masks…

Some wear masks of Robert ‘Omega’ Main… Barney Green… Noah Jackson… Donovan Blackwater… Ned Kaye… and BoB members! While others wear Sarah Wolf masks… Sebastian Everett-Bryce masks… Dolly Waters masks… and some masks simply feature the logos for Fight! NYC and Project: Honor!

JC: Clearly some mindgames here… the ring surrounded by men designed to remind both these competitors of their pasts…

JR: And the winner is going to be the guy who remembers the one face that matters is the face they’ve gotta punch through… their opponent’s face, I mean.

JC: No, I got that, thanks, Joe.

Dickie Watson © - vs - Big D Lumberjack Match 15 Minute Time Limit

15:00 14:59 14:58

As time ticks down on the wall, we see the lumberjacks all menacing and ready to beat the hell out of either competitors…

In the early going, Dickie and Big D tease one another to toss outside to the ‘jacks, then suddenly Dickie gets thrown outside…

JC: Oh dear! Dickie is the first to be thrown to the wolves!

JR: Literally! I don’t know if that’s actually Sarah Wolf, but she’s coming at him like she’s hungry like the wolf!

The moment Watson hits the outside, a woman in a Sarah Wolf mask SWINGS down on him with a steel pipe… Watson narrowly sidesteps as a loud CLANG echoes from the pipe hitting the floor…

Watson drives his shoulder into the faux Wolf’s gut, sending her backwards… Just as the man in the Project: Honor mask catches him with…

A BARBED-WIRE-ASSISTED PUNCH TO THE JAW!

JC: Oh my God! Dickie Watson said Project: Honor was a blood tithe, it looks like the lumberjack representing Project: Honor has come to collect some from Watson’s face!

Watson gets driven back against the apron… and slides under the bottom rope back inside… just as three lumberjacks all dive to try and stop him…

But once he’s back in the ring, he rolls… straight into a STOMP from Big D!

JC: My oh my! There’s nowhere for Watson to go here! He’s got a legion of angry lumberjacks outside the ring! And Big D INSIDE it!

JR: Forget 15 minutes… Dickie’s gonna lucky if he can survive another 15 seconds the way everyone’s coming at him!

Big D goes to snag Dickie up to his feet for a high-impact slam… but Dickie manages to bat Big D away with various punches and kicks… Big D tanks the first few, going for a lariat! But Dickie ducks under, then he beams him to the ropes… and connects with a Dropkick, dropping D onto his back!

JC: That’s what makes Dickie a champ! He will never stop fighting, he refuses to be beat while he’s still breathing!

JR: But it looks like he has other things on his mind than his opponent…

That Sarah Wolf proxy has given up waiting for Dickie, reaching under the ropes to try and drag him under herself… Dickie steps back outside the range of her arms and stares her down…

JC: …That isn’t *actually* Sarah Wolf right?

JR: She and Dickie waged an absolute war at Relentless… I think if anyone were to accept being Jigsaw’s pawn just to stab Dickie in the kidney, it might be Sarah… but also, Sarah hates working with other people.

12:31 12:30 12:29

…As Dickie stares down ‘Wolf’, Big D slowly starts to rise off the mat… Dickie finally focuses back on the fight… he goes for a side-headlock, but Big D elbows him, switches around him and
…BACK RAKE! Dickie’s face twists in agony, as his hands lift to defend… and that’s when Big D wraps his arms around Dickie’s undefended waist, going for a…

GERMAN SUPLEX!

HE CONNECTS!

JC: What a move by Big D! Absolutely devastating!

JR: And it doesn’t look like he’s done yet, Jacuinde!

Indeed, D maintains his waist lock as he forces himself back up, dragging Dickie to his feet…

He heaves again… SECOND GERMAN SUPLEX!

JC: Dickie looks vulnerable here! If D makes it a triple, Watson will be in prime position to get DAN-SLAMMED!

…D cranks his neck confidently, as he hoists Dickie with his great strength up to his feet again…

…But as D brings Dickie up, Watson clings onto D’s neck as a reflex! And then forces his weight downward!

SNAPMARE! D goes up and over Dickie’s shoulder!

JC: Amazing survival instinct by the Television champion there! He lives to keep fighting!

11:15 11:14 11:13

As D shakes off that surprising throw, Dickie backs into the ropes, looking for another running dropki-

NO! That same ‘Wolf’ lumberjack reaches under the bottom rope and snags Watson by the ankle!

JC: What the HELL is going on with that Sarah Wolf lumberjack!?!

Watson stumbles forward… just as D lifts himself to his feet… And catches Watson in a…

MILITARY PRESS position! D lifts Watson up over his head!

JC: Oh no! That is no man’s land for Dickie! He’s in prime position to get tossed to those lumberjacks like chum into the mouths of hungry piranhas!

Big D holds Watson over his head… smiling confidently, as he goes to charge toward the ropes, ready to huck Dickie…

But Dickie’s hand drops down and scratches D across the eyes!

JC: Questionable move by Watson!

JR: Questionable move? I think you mean, SURVIVAL! Dickie knows what’s at stake if he gets thrown back into those lumberjacks!

D stumbles forward, his hands reflexively cover his face… Watson drops down to his feet behind D… and he shoves D over the top rope! Into the lumberjacks!

D tumbles onto his feet outside…

Where a “Miss Fury” lumberjack…

KERACK! Whips D in the back!

JC: Oh my! Some of Big D’s allies from his stint as B.o.B. D are coming right at him!

‘Fury’ reels back her whip again… but D boots her in the stomach, he turns back to the ring…

But not before a “Thunder Knuckles” lumberjack staples BLOODY X-Bux onto D’s back!

D’s face snarls… but he manages to fight through the pain to get back under the bottom rope!

9:48 9:47 9:46

D charges at Watson… who catches his forward momentum, trapping him in an INSIDE CRADLE!

1!

2!

THR-BIG D KICKS OUT!

THR—-KICKOUT BY BIG D!

JC: Big D’s not finished yet! Not by a long shot!

JR: But remember, Jacuinde! It’s Dickie’s job to withstand the onslaught, D not only has to withstand Dickie’s attacks… he also has to get the win before the time runs out!

As D tries to fight his way back to his feet, Dickie leaps onto him! D collapses back onto his back as Dickie delivers mounted punches, each one sapping the will to go on from D…

…Until D judo throws Dickie up and over… Dickie forward-rolls, almost out of the ring… but he puts on the brakes, just as the “Fight NYC” lumberjack swings a steel folding chair through the ropes narrowly missing Watson!

D backs up into the ropes himself… SNAP! Where the “TK” lumberjack is waiting to staple more bloody money to his back!

JC: Maybe a little metaphor here… D turned his back on his fans to join BoB and that TK lumberjack is giving him his thirty pieces of silver!

JR: Where in the Bible did Judas get given his money via staple gun?

JC: …I didn’t claim it was a *perfect metaphor*...

D’s face is seared in agony… but he reaches up and STUN GUNS the “TK” lumberjack’s throat acros the top rope… the “TK” lumberjack tumbles backwards off the apron, toppling over the lumberjacks underneath him…

But not before D grabs the staple gun out of “TK”’s hand!

JC: Oh my! Business is picking up here! D has a weapon!

Watson narrowly avoids another chair shot from the Fight! NYC lumberjack, before extending a boot through the ropes and kicking him in the face!

Watson turns around… straight into D’s staple gun which catches Watson between the eyes!

JC: Oh my god! That should be a DQ!

JR: Sorry, do you think Jigsaw is going to be strictly enforcing the rules tonight?

Watson covers his brow… his mouth agape in horror… as D catches him around the throat…

Lifts him into the air…

CHOKESLAM!

D collapses forward onto Dickie!

1…



2…


THRE-KICKOUT BY DICKIE!

JC: How was that not enough?!? I was 100% sure we had a new Television champion there!

JR: D pulled off a crazy sequence to pull an advantage over Watson… he’s got the momentum, but does he have time to convert it into a win?

7:24 7:23 7:22

As Dickie slowly scoops himself off the mat, D tries to weigh him down back to the mat with a chinlock, dropping his weight down on Watson’s back… but the smaller man, through grit, maintains his footing!

JC: Dickie Watson is a master of body control! He knows exactly how his opponent is trying to use his body’s natural levers against him and he knows exactly what to do to counteract it!

D grunts, frustrated before clubbing his forearm against Watson’s back, shoving him to the ropes… Watson starts jogging to the ropes… then, puts on the brakes, before he comes anywhere near those bloodthirsty lumberjacks!

JC: Watson learning here! Those ropes are, for all intents and purposes, OFF-LIMITS in this match!

Watson turns around… where D is aiming to decapitate the TV champ with a…

ROARING ELBOW!

…But Watson ducks under, catching D by the neck as he floats by and catches him with a…

NECKBREAKER!

JC: Incredible counter by Watson!

Watson exhaustedly rolls over, stretching an arm over D’s chest…

ONE!

TWO!

THR-NO! D kicks out!

6:05 6:04 6:03

Dickie cranks his neck from the mat, determined to finish this one… As D slowly peels himself back to his feet, Dickie scoops his arm under D’s chest looking for a…

DICKIE’S REVENGE!

…

But D slips out the side, getting Watson from behind… and SHOVING Dickie through the ropes and to the outside…

JC: D buying himself some time to recover, forcing Dickie to mix it up with those lumberjacks again!

JR: It’s a riskier strategy than you might think, Jacuinde! Are those lumberjacks gonna leave enough of Dickie when they’re done with him for D to pin?

Watson hits the floor ready to swing, immediately catching “Wolf” with a spinning back fist and “Glazkov” with a knee lift under the chin! Wolf creates enough space where he can scamper onto the apron, almost back in the ring…

T-T-TACTILIZER FROM THE “LARRY TACT” LUMBERJACK! Watson gets scooped off the apron into a spinebuster slam onto the padded concrete outside the ring!

JC: Absolutely Tactilizing!

Watson cradles his spine… his body looks broken! As “Tact” scoops him by the scruff of the neck and rolls him under the bottom rope…

Inside the ring, D’s chest heaves exhaustedly… He crawls across the mat.. Eventually hooking Watson’s leg!

ONE!

TWO!

THRE-NOOOOOOOOOO! DICKIE SURVIVES![/white]

JC: How in the HELL did Dickie Watson kick out of that one!

JR: At this point, ya gotta ask, what is it gonna take to keep Dickie Watson down… Except a DAN SLAM!

4:16 4:15 4:14

After a few seconds, both men slowly rise back to their feet, looking like they’ve been through Hell… before they both charge in,  throwing heavy slug tested punches to one another!

HAYMAKER FROM D!

SPINKICK FROM DICKIE!

FASTBALL PUNCH FROM D!

BACKFIST FROM DICKIE!

…

OUCH! BIG D PUNTS DICKIE BETWEEN THE LEGS!

Dickie drops down to his knees…

JC: Dirty strike by D! You can tell just how badly D wants this one to end, he just hit Dickie in the… well, the D!

JR: You also could have said hit Dickie in the di-

JC: BUT I DIDN’T.


D grabs Dickie by the arm and snatches him… slowly rotating Dickie for a…

BIG D DROP (Unprettier!)

…But Dickie shoves his way out, shoving D forward into the ropes…

Where “Miss Fury” is waiting with her whip on the apron!

JC: Aren’t lumberjacks supposed to stay outside the ring and toss people back in? These ones are DESPERATE to be part of the action!

“Fury” reels back her whip again…

But D charges forward!

SHOULDERBLOCKING ‘FURY’ INTO THE FRONT ROW! STRAIGHT INTO THE CROWD!

JC: Wow! If someone from the NFL is watching, D might just get asked to try-out with that explosive tackle there!

D slowly turns around… where Dickie’s waiting! Watson pulls D, lifting him into the air for a…

DICKIE’S REVENGE!

…

But again, D spins out to the side, catching Dickie from behind…

D scoops Dickie up, spinning him around in mid-air!

DAN SLAM!

…

CONNECTS! Watson sprawls forward beside the ropes!

JC: HE DID IT! HE DID IT! D HIT THE DAN SLAM! WE COULD HAVE A NEW TELEVISION CHAMPION!

…D lies on his back exhausted, breathing a sigh of relief… He holds up three fingers to the crowd, indicating he’s about to become a three-time TV champion, as he lounges confidently backward onto Watson!

ONE!

TWO!

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Somehow! Someway! Watson forces his boot onto the ropes!

JC: HOW?!?

JR: You already said it, Jacuinde! As long as there’s breath in his body, Dickie will NEVER STOP FIGHTING!

2:21 2:20 2:19

D looks at the mat, absolutely despondent, trying to figure out how Dickie survived the Dan Slam…



…Until he shakes his head, ready to correct that error… dragging Dickie by his foot away from the ropes!

JC: Dickie needed the ropes to survive that first Dan Slam! D doing what he needs to do to eliminate the ropes from the equation!

D scoops Dickie off his feet… into position… lifting him for a…

DAN SLAM!

…

…But Dickie spins in mid-air, latching his arms around D’s neck!

DDT!

D’s skull rebounds off the mat, he’s sitting up, questionably conscious! As Dickie lifts D off the mat…

DICKIE’S REVENGE!

JC: DICKIE’S REVENGE! CENTER OF THE RING!

When Dickie hits the move, he lies forward onto D, like that move was the very last thing his body could do…

The official counts!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

WINNER AND STILL TELEVISION CHAMPION: DICKIE WATSON

JC: What a WAR! What an absolute slugfest from start to finish! Big D came inches! Millimeters even! From becoming a three-time TV champion!

JR: But Watson ascends! The climb up the mountain continues! And you have to wonder… who the HELL could possibly knock Dickie off the mountain!

---

JC: This has been a helluva night on Spooky Savage thus far and we’ve still got the Captain’s Match to look forward to!

JR: Gotta say, this show’s been pretty tight so far, bro. I’m glad the powers that be offered me….

Just then, from out of nowhere…..



MADISON DYSON’S THEME HITS!

JR: Who’s this brosef?!

JC: It’s…it’s….MADISON DYSON?! We haven’t heard from her in months ever since she lost the XTreme Championship! She wasn’t even around to see her newfound friend Dolly Waters become Universal Champion! But here she is tonight folks!

The theme music keeps playing….


….and playing….



….and playing….

JR: Uhhhhhh, I don’t see anybody.

JC: Yeah, this is unusual.

And then, the music suddenly shuts off with an accompanying screech of feedback from the speakers as the arena is plunged into darkness.

JR: Ahhhhhhhh!

JC: Yeah, you’re gonna have to get used to this Joe it happens a lot.

And with that, a new song starts up, this one considerably more strange and haunting than Madison’s.



As the unsettling tune sets in it draws disconcerting looks from the audience members. And then, a brilliant white spotlight shines up into the rafters! And, bathed in the light, is a sight to behold! Three figures stand on a white dias suspended above the ring. One of them is KRISTOFFER ARROYO. The other is another familiar face, although not THAT familiar. It’s MADISON DYSON! She’s on her knees, head shaved bald, and wearing a vacant, haunted look in her eyes. She’s completely devoid of an expression. Around her neck is a black leather spiked collar, and tethered to that is a leash which is presently in the hand of one SAMAEL DYSON.

Samael Dyson is by far the most strangely dressed of the bunch, although it would be a stretch to call him dressed considering he’s just wearing jack boots and a white barely there thong that’s hugging his prodigious package snugly in place. Strapped to his back are two massive angel wings outfitted with flame throwers, and as the dias starts to lower the flame throwers spew gouts of flame into the air!

This pageantry continues until the dias touches down in the center of the ring. Samael kicks his mother off the dias and she falls ass over tea kettle off of it. The lights then come back on and….


JR: GAHHHH!

JC: HOLY HELL!

When the lights cut back on, the arena and the announce position are completely surrounded by smelly vagrants wearing paper bags over their heads! Each sack head has hastily cut eye and mouth holes, the only vestige of a face these eerie hangers on seem to have.

JR: Dude, where the hell did they come from?

JC: I….I don’t know! This is surely one of the most bizarre displays we’ve seen in quite some time.

Back in the ring, Samael brings a mic to his lips as one of the paper bag masked vagrants starts to dislodge the fire spewing wings from his back. But as he does so, one of the wings tips down into his face and spews flame all over him! The masked vagrant starts to scream, his head an abrupt roaring inferno. Samael looks pissed! He kicks the masked vagrant to the mat and starts stomping brutally on his skull to put out the flames, but by the time he’s done it’s clear the vagrant’s head is a crispy critter. Two more vagrants skitter up behind Samael and finish removing his wings as Samael points disdainfully at the dead one.

REMOVE THIS!

Two more of the vagrants roll into the ring and hastily drag the corpse out and to the floor, leaving a bloody smear in their wake. Arroyo seems to look on with some amusement while Madison just cringes at the end of her leash like a whipped dog.

Samael brings the mic to his mouth again and starts to speak.

Salutations gentle beings! My name is SAMAEL DYSON! And, now, maybe my reputation precedes me. Maybe you’ve heard some things about me. Like maybe from that poster child for fetal alcohol syndrome DOLLY WATERS, or from that turbo dyke LUX, or even from….

Samael leans in face to face with Madison and screams at her.

….MY STUPID CUNT MOTHER WHO ABANDONED ME!

Samael straightens back up. Madison is still completely devoid of expression.

But I implore you….please forget everything you’ve heard. For it rings FALSELY! I’m not some monster here to destroy the XWF, I’m not some tired cult cliche like The Left Hand of the Black Rainbow! Nooooooooo! You see I…..



….am here….



…..TO FUCK!


Samael tosses his arms jubiliantly in the air. I’m here to fuck, baby! I’m here to have some fun….to liven this place up a bit! To add some ZEST….some SPICE….to a product that, let’s face it, got a little dull under the tutelage of one THAD PUKE.

That’s all I’m here for baby. And with my good friend Kristoffer Arroyo by my side, and my legions of INSIGNIFICANTS….

Samael gestures to the masked people surrounding the ring.

….I dare say we’re gonna have a good time!

Now that’s not to say we don’t have ambitions! Everybody’s got ambitions right? Which brings me, quite naturally, to my first order of business.

WHORE GAMES!

Kristoffer makes a face and leans in to whisper in Samael’s ear.

WAR GAMES! That’s what I said the first time. Anyway, War Games is just around the corner and my man Kris here is repping the family as only he knows how. But the question is, with six captains taking the field, which one does Kristoffer want to play with?

Samael looks like he’s going to hand the mic over to Kris, but then he suddenly yanks it away. Kris looks a little chuffed but keeps it to himself.

I’ll tell you who Kristoffer wants to represent…as if there is any other fucking choice! It’s KING KIERAN OF COURSE!

The fans respond with a resounding chorus of boos. Samael looks taken aback by the reaction, and he brings the mic up to his face so close he’s practically chewing on it.

FUCK YOU YOU MIDDLING LITTLE PRATS! I’LL FUCK YOUR MOTHERS! AND IF YOUR DADS TRY TO INTERFERE I’LL FUCK THEM TOO!

Samael is suddenly trembling with rage. Kris steps in and whispers something to Samael again, and Samael slaps the mic into his chest, relinquishing it with simmering anger. He turns his attention to the kneeling Madison, and viciously yanks on her leash, causing her to face plant into the canvas.

Kristoffer, looking demure as ever, doesn’t seem bothered by the crowd response or his master’s ire. He smirks, revealing the bottoms of his glistening fangs.

Samael is quite right! My designs are clear. I want the Universal Champion, Kieran King, to be my captain. And Samael was equally correct when he said that there was just no other viable choice. I mean, when royalty is on the table, why pick anything less?

And to prove my fealty to the King, in mere days I will launch a preemptive strike against one of his rival captains in Betsy Granger. The match we’re in may be a bit of a gag, but the EVISCERATION I hand out surely won’t be.

Samael leans into the mic.

Although Betsy if after Kris is done with you, you need a shoulder to cry on, or a face to sit on (hint! hint!) I’m available!

Samael backs off with a shit eating grin and he goes to the edge of the ring to jaw with some fans in the front row as Kristoffer continues.

Now you might be wondering “what if Kieran foolishly passes on you Kristoffer, who’s second place?” And well, that might surprise you.

Jennie Nickles.

Hello, Jennie. While you’re no King, you’re a queen in scarlet, are you not? Heh. I think with your….erm….”extracurriculars” we could get along swimmingly. And if you’re offended by me making you second place, why not prove me wrong if you get the chance?

As for who’s dead last….I don’t cotton to geriatrics or charity cases, so Scoops McGee can piss right off as far as I’m concerned. Scoops, if in a moment of dementia fueled addlement you decide to draft me, rest assured I’ll destroy your team from the inside out. I’d rather lose War Games then have to rub shoulders with a man who smells of piss and redneck desperation.

And that about sums it up, ladies and gentlemen. Sam?

Kris summons Sam out of his trash talking and hands the mic back to him.

That does indeed sum it up! Thanks for listening. Now anybody whose up for a bout of sucky fucky, the line starts at my dressing room door. See you soon you fucking degenerates!

Sam drops the mic as “In Heaven” from Eraserhead hits again. A gaggle of Samael’s bag headed Insignificants scramble to ringside where they crouch down and array themselves into a human stepladder. Samael tugs fiercely on Madison’s leash, prompting her to follow him, and the trio leave the ring via the human stepladder and head towards the back.

---

JC: And now, we head into our MAIN EVENT of the evening!

JR: This match is going to be CRAZY! Am I reading this right? All 6 War Games Captains are going to be chained up inside of a giant tub, and some psycho with a hacksaw is going to decide who gets out alive?!

JC: That’s close Joe, but not quite right! ‘Psycho’ Solomon is actually one of the Captains here tonight, and he’s joined in that ring- er, tub- by Betsy Granger, Scoops McGee, Jennie Nickles, Isaiah AND Kieran Kings! This main-event match is star-studded to the X-TREME!

JR: And the winner walks away with their preferred draft order! And the losers, well….they might not be walking out at all- at least, not if our ‘special referee’ gets his way!

JC: And speak of the devil!






The Nickleman steps into Jigsaw’s Lair as his music is blared across the hidden compound. He’s wearing a striped referee’s shirt, with the sleeves ruggedly cut off. He wears a devious grin upon his lips as he clutches the handle of a rusty hacksaw. Charlie walks up to the scene of the action, and he doesn’t even try to contain his smirk as he sets eyes upon the ‘Killer Tub’.

The Killer Tub is a twelve-foot-tall pit of rot and pain, an old busted-up swimming pool turned into a concrete nightmare. The walls are slick with grime, the air stinks of rust and mold, and the puddle water at the bottom looks more like sewage than anything fit for humans. Chains are bolted to the floor, six sets in total, ready to clamp down on the War Games Captains. On each side stands a shaky, rusty ladder that’s already on the verge of breaking. The lights above flicker and buzz, throwing the place into half-darkness. This isn’t a wrestling ring. It’s a punishment chamber, and The Nickleman feels right at home as he hops into it!

JR: You know, I had this dude on my podcast one time.

JC: Really?! And how’d that go, Joe?

JR: Worst. Guest. Ever.

JC: But maybe he’ll prove to be a better referee!

JR: Did he pledge to remain impartial and unbiased throughout this contest?

JC: Actually….he pledged the EXACT OPPOSITE!

JR: He would never be allowed to referee in the UFC!

JC: But this is the XWF, Joe: and on Spooky Savage, anything goes!







The lights dim as Jennie Nickles’ theme music plays throughout Jigsaw’s antiquated PA system. “The Scarlet Verdict” walks out of a dark tunnel and into the room with the Killer Tub. She walks up to the edge of the pool, then looks down into the grimey tub with a slightly grimace- that quickly shifts into a smirk. Jennie climbs down the shaky ladder before being greeted with a big hug from her brother- and a pair of shackles from her referee. Jennie and Charlie share a knowing nod as The Nickleman places the chains around Jenny’s ankles.


JC: Jennie Nickles is walking into this match on a hot streak! And I mean HOT- like the XXX kind! She deflowered Elon Musk’s AI wrestlebot, but that’s the LEAST of her crimes against humanity!

JR: Well, Grok wasn’t really a human-

JC: And that’s what The Scarlet Verdict says about all her countless victims! Remember, Joe: Jennie has a natural advantage in this match! She is a convicted serial slaughterer, so I’m sure this isn’t her first rodeo with hacksaws and chains. And not to mention: HER BROTHER is tonight’s referee!

JR: Imagine being drafted to a team led by a convicted serial killer. If you don’t listen to Captain Jennie’s orders: she might just gut you!






“Psycho” Solomon Kline walks out from a different tunnel, an unhinged twinge to his eye as he glances towards the hard cam. The 6’6” behemoth of a man walks up to the edge of the Killer Tub, a sick and twisted smirk staying plastered to his lips. Solomon looks over at the rusty ladders lining either far wall, and he shakes his head with disdain. Then, he simply leaps into the center of the pool, landing directly in the middle like a grand anime villain! Once Solomon rises, The Nickleman daps him up before begrudgingly shackling his ankles with chains.

JR: You know, they call this guy a “Psycho”, but I’m not sure I see it. He looks more like an NFL linebacker than a crazy guy! What’s so “Psycho” about him, anyways?

JC: Are you serious, Joe? Did you not watch Solomon’s last vignette? This whacko literally thinks Jigsaw is REAL, and that Jigsaw is sending him a “secret” message. And do you know why he thinks that, Joe?

JR: Why does he think Jigsaw is sending him messages?

JC: Because Solomon’s mother was killed in a bathtub! Murdered by some sicko who’s never been caught!

JR: Oh my God, that’s horrible!

JC: And now, Solomon thinks Jigsaw is giving him a mission! So, this Psycho said he’s going to assemble the perfect War Games team….just so that he can track down the man who murdered his mother and get revenge!

JR: Solomon really is sick in the head!

JC: And to make matters worse tonight…he’s got the referee in his back pocket- just like Jennie does!

JR: I guess the sickos and the freaks really do flock together!







The commentary team is quickly interrupted by the sound of a distant synthesizer, followed up by horses neighing and galloping through the dirt. It fades out, leading into the riff of a guitar strumming a fiery tune. There's an inherent electricity building within the air of the Killer Tub, culminating as the drums kick in. As they do, the steadfast figure of Scoops McGee comes out from yet another dark tunnel, a look of no nonsense etched onto his face as he takes a long look down into the pool.

He nods, steadily climbing the ladder down into the pool and absentmindedly skulking over to a pair of shackles, waiting patiently for Charlie to strap them on.


JC: And here comes “Captain Scoops”! AKA, Mr. McGee! A certified fan-favorite, Scoops has had a long and storied career in professional wrestling: but recently, he’s been on a whole nother’ level! In his last match, he defeated two-time Universal Champion Sebastian Everett Bryce. No tricks, nonsense: just straight-up wrasslin’! That’s the Scoops method, and it’s proving more effective than ever in today’s XWF.

JR: Scoops combines a unique blend of old-school, hardcore wrestling alongside quick and efficient striking. He’s almost like an aged mongoose, experienced and wise beyond his years, and always ready to take down a snake like only he knows how.

JC: I don’t know if Scoops would consider himself a mongoose, but he’s certainly a wild animal inside the ring…or, in this case, tub! He’s an expert with improvised wrestling weaponry, so chains and pool ladders are right up his alley.








JC: ½ of the current tag champions, a former Universal Champion, AND the reigning winning War Games Captain: the smart money might be on Isaiah King to pick up a big victory inside this tub. He’s looking to go back-to-back with winning War Games teams, and that all starts right here tonight.

JR: Wait….wasn’t tonight’s referee part of Isaiah’s winning team?

JC: That’s right, Joe! Isaiah King actually DRAFTED Charlie last year, and if you ask me, Isaiah carried Nickles all the way across the finish line for the first time in Charlie’s career!

JR: So Isaiah King might have an advantage here tonight, because it sounds like Charlie owes him one!

JC: I wouldn’t count on that, Joe! ‘Loyalty’ isn’t a word in Charlie’s vocabulary- unless it’s loyalty to him.

JR: But aren’t Charlie and Isaiah both members of the XWF’s 4 Corners?

JC: The difference here is that Isaiah is an honorable, noble, stand-up kind of guy….and tonight’s referee simply isn’t.

JR: Well if there’s one person who knows how to work through adversity, it’s Isaiah King! And it sounds like you’re telling me that he’s got a whole lotta’ adversity surrounding him in that Tub right now.

&list=RDqmKvBLmg2ZU

As the opening notes begin, the lights go out, save for a single spotlight focused on yet another tunnel. Betsy comes out, but she’s only a silhouette at this point. Just as the drum strikes it’s second note, Betsy dabs and the lights come back. The song starts from the refrain as Betsy starts dancing down the ramp.

“Sin City’s cold and empty
No one’s around to judge me
I can’t see clearly when your gone-one-one”

Arms out, Betsy begins twirling around wildly, blonde ponytail whipping about with her. The chorus hits just as Betsy slides down the shaky ladder and into the Killer Tub.

“And I said ooooh, I’m blinded by the lights
I can’t sleep until I feel your touch
And I said ooooh, I’m drowning in the night
Oh, when I’m like this, you’re the one I trust”

As the chorus chimes on, Betsy bounces up and down, pumping her fist and bobbing her head in time with the song, getting herself amped up for the upcoming bout. She starts bouncing in place, preparing mentally for the bout as The Nickleman silently shackles her feet to the floor.


JC: It’s The Impossible Traveler herself, Betsy Granger! She’s known not just around the world, but around the GALAXY for her incredible feats of strength, wit, and athleticism! She has felled Giants, conquered tyrants, and entertained fans across every plane of existence!

JR:  On the last edition of XWF Anarchy, Betsy Granger took Kieran King to his ultimate limit. If Kieran hadn’t pulled out every last dirty trick in the book, then Betsy Granger may well have beaten him! But we can’t change the past…although, technically, I do believe that Betsy Granger has changed the past once or twice- so is Kieran’s win over her really safe?

JC: Well we are going to find out tonight, because Betsy has the chance to get her win over Kieran back- and get her preferred draft position right alongside it!






The first, frenetic strums of Faith No More's "Gentle Art of Making Enemies" rips through Jigsaw’s Lair as strobes of gold and white cast across the killer tub. After several moments, and then a few more for good measure, Kieran King eventually saunters onto the stage, smugly mugging for the cameras. In a flash, he sprints towards the pool and acts as if he is going to backflip off the top... only to pull out at the last minute. He laughs at the chained wrestlers below him, mocking them as he undoes his championship gold before descending the ladder into the pool.

Charlie approaches Kieran, gesturing towards the shackles. Kieran talks mad shit to The Nickleman while Charlie bends down to apply the chains to Kieran’s ankles.

JC: And here comes THE KING HIMSELF…“KING” KIERAN KING! The reigning, defending, and undisputed UNIVERSAL CHAMPION of the XWF!

JR: Kieran is a tough cookie to crack! He’s- wait- he’s being attacked by the referee!

WARGAMES’ CAPTAINS MATCH Scoops McGee - vs - King Kieran - vs - Betsy Granger - vs - ‘Psycho’ Solomon - vs - Jennie Nickles - vs - Isaiah King Special Guest Referee: Charlie Nickles Killer Tub Match Draft Order shall be determined in order of escape – First to Escape will have the option to choose between drafting first and drafting last

The bell clangs through Jigsaw’s Lair as Charlie Nickles is already on top of Kieran King, pounding the Universal Champion against the slimy wall of the twelve-foot pit. The referee’s hacksaw glints under the flickering lights as he swings it like a weapon, sparks jumping from the tile where it hits.

JC: The bell’s ringing because the fight’s already started! Charlie Nickles didn’t wait for the ceremony! He’s already trying to get his revenge on Kieran King for what happened at Relentless!

JR: The referee’s supposed to keep order, but this one’s intent on keeping up the war!

The camera catches the chaos from above: six captains chained to the floor, filthy water sloshing around their boots, rusted ladders leaning like broken bones on either side. Charlie drives a knee into Kieran’s gut, pins him by the throat, and raises the hacksaw for a kill shot.

Kieran twists and shoves off the wall. The saw smashes the concrete beside his head. Isaiah King moves first from the cluster of chained captains, lunging toward the referee and yanking him backward by the shoulder. Charlie wheels around and drops Isaiah with a short, vicious elbow. His hacksaw falls, clattering through the shallow water

JC: Isaiah King just stepped into the fire!

JR: Somebody had to! Charlie’s got a weapon and bad intentions!

Kieran kicks the referee off him, dragging at the chain on his ankles. The camera swings low to catch him prying at the links while Isaiah staggers back up. Charlie quickly comes again, a madman in stripes, throwing wild shots. Kieran rolls under one, scrambles for the hacksaw, and snatches it up. He brings the blade down on the chain, it’s teeth screaming against the steel.

Charlie dives at him, but Isaiah meets him head-on: both men battling for the hacksaw in Kieran’s grasp. Charlie and Isaiah crash into the far wall as the rest of the captains try to reach the action: but it’s no use! Their chains are all mixed up along the floor, and they simply can’t reach Kieran and company!

JC: I don’t think Charlie did a very good job of setting up those chains, because half of our Captains can’t even make it to the other side of the tub!

JR: I’m starting to think that making Charlie a referee was a horrible idea!

Charlie swings his arm to shake free, but Isaiah drives a shoulder into his ribs and holds him there. Water splashes over both of them. Kieran keeps sawing, sweat mixing with the filth, sparks kicking off the floor as he drives the saw into steel.

JR: Isaiah’s inadvertently giving the champ a few precious seconds!

Kieran cuts through one shackle; it snaps and falls into the puddle as Jennie and Solomon scream for Charlie’s prompt attention. Scoops and Betsy are trying to untangle their own chains so they can reach the hacksaw, but it’s no use. As Kieran keeps cutting the second link bends, bends again, and finally splits. Kieran rips free, kicks the broken chains aside, and pushes to his feet.

Charlie finally throws Isaiah off and turns, just in time for Kieran to crack the hacksaw across his shoulder like a steel bat. The sound is sickening. The special referee drops to a knee as Kieran races for the nearest ladder- far away from the tangled quartet of Captains across the pool!

JC: Kieran’s got daylight! He’s making for the exit!

JR: And he’s given Charlie a bleeding wound on his way out!

The camera follows him from below as he climbs. Rust rains from the ladder with every pull. Charlie’s back up, clutching his bloodied shoulder, dragging the hacksaw behind him while chasing after Kieran like a demon. He grabs the bottom rung and yanks. The entire frame shakes. Kieran’s boots slip, but he keeps climbing. Isaiah lunges and grabs Charlie’s wrist, trying to get a hold of the hacksaw for himself, but as the pair tussle over the saw they slip and fall down into the water.

Kieran reaches the top as the Captains trapped on the other side of the pool scream bloody murder, hauling himself over the top of the tub and vanishing into the gloom.

KIERAN KING ESCAPES FIRST!

JC: KIERAN KING ESCAPES FIRST! The Universal Champion earns his draft advantage!

JR: He didn’t win it clean, but he won it fast! Isaiah King may have saved him without meaning to!

Charlie pushes Isaiah off of him and glares upward, blood seeping through his shirt. He spits, then turns his fury back toward the remaining captains. “He ran!” he snarls, his voice echoing inside the tub. Charlie grabs the hacksaw, spots his sister among the prisoners, and then tosses the hacksaw toward her.Then he storms up the ladder after Kieran, disappearing over the top while screaming that “This isn’t over!”.

JC: We just lost our referee!

JR: Does this mean that Charlie gets to pick 2nd at War Games?!

JC: I don’t think so, Joe! This just means that Solomon and Jennie won’t be getting anymore “referee favors” this match, because we don’t even have a referee anymore!

The camera pans back down into the pit. Five captains. One hacksaw.

The instant Charlie’s gone, everyone moves. Betsy Granger dives for the saw. Jennie Nickles meets her halfway, the sister’s eyes flashing the same fire as her brother’s. Betsy and Jennie collide in a tangle of arms and water. The hacksaw skids away toward Scoops McGee. The veteran stomps his boot down to pin it but takes a stiff shot to the jaw from Solomon Kline’s chain-wrapped fist.

JC: It’s pandemonium inside the Tub!

The camera catches Solomon towering over Scoops, ripping the chain tight around his wrist like a gauntlet. He swings again. Scoops ducks and jams his shoulder into Solomon’s ribs. The impact shakes the ladder beside them. Betsy and Jennie roll through the muck, fighting for balance.

Isaiah’s back on his feet, shaking water from his eyes. He sees the hacksaw floating just inches away, lunges, and scoops it up. Solomon turns and catches sight of it too late. Isaiah drives the blade against his own shackle, trying to free himself. The teeth screech and spark.

JC: Isaiah’s finally got the hacksaw! He’s putting it to good use here!

Jennie slaps the water, crawling toward him. Betsy dives on her back to drag her down. The camera whirls to follow Isaiah as Solomon barrels into him. The hacksaw goes spinning end over end into the air and crashes near the center of the pit.

JR: Nobody can keep that thing for more than five seconds!

Solomon tries to crush Isaiah under his knee. Isaiah shoves up with both hands, water spraying. Scoops, still half-bound, loops his chain around Solomon’s neck from behind and pulls. The big man stumbles. Betsy kicks Jennie away and reaches the saw first, bringing it up with a wild grin. She hacks at the bolt on her ankle, fast and desperate.

The camera shifts close—metal on metal, sparks in the half-dark. Jennie charges her from behind, slamming her shoulder into Betsy’s back. The hacksaw flies again, splashing down in the filth between them. Jennie reaches; Isaiah reaches; Scoops wades through the puddle to snatch it first.

JC: Scoops McGee has the hacksaw! The veteran’s finally in the mix!

Scoops braces the chain across his knee and starts cutting, the blade whining. Solomon regains footing and drags Scoops off balance with a handful of chain. The hacksaw clanks away once more. Isaiah tries to grab it; Solomon hits him with a short forearm that drops him.

The camera widens to show the Tub boiling with motion. Chains whip through the air like live wires. The sound is pure chaos.

Betsy crawls across the puddle, clutching her ribs, and grabs the hacksaw again. She gets one cuff off before Jennie tears it from her hands. Jennie swings the saw handle like a club into Betsy’s skull. Betsy crumples against the wall, gasping. Jennie sets the teeth to her own restraints, grinding through rust and sludge.

JR: Jennie Nickles wants out. She’s got motivation, she’s got the saw, and she’s got her brother somewhere above causing havoc!

Solomon storms over, reaching for the tool. Jennie plants a foot and kicks him off. He barely moves. He rips the hacksaw out of her grasp and stands tall, water streaming down his arms. He plants one foot on the chain anchor, bends down, and starts cutting through the bolt.

Scoops uses the distraction to loop his chain around one of the ladder rungs and pull. The bolt holding his shackles to the floor begins to bend. He yanks again. The metal shrieks. One last heave and the post pops free from the concrete!

JC: Scoops McGee just broke his anchor! He’s free without the saw!

JR: Scoops McGee is loose! The old lion’s got nothing holding him down now!

The camera catches Scoops glancing up at the ladder. It’s barely standing, crooked and wet, but it’s the only way out. Scoops starts gathering up his chain before throwing his shackles up over the rim of the tub. The camera pans to Solomon, still desperately sawing his own chain as he watches Scoop grab hold of the ladder. Isaiah stands and drives a kick into Solomon’s shoulder, causing the hacksaw to slip from Solomon’s hands. It hits the tile and skids across the water again.

Scoops starts to climb. Behind him, Solomon and Isaiah are still trading blows. Betsy crawls after him. Jennie clutches at her half-cut chain, trying to pull it apart.

JC: Scoops is going up!

JR: He’s trying to get out of there, and frankly, I don’t blame him one bit!

The ladder shudders with each step Scoops takes. Flakes of rust fall like red snow. Solomon notices and roars, wading toward him. Isaiah intercepts again, driving a knee into the big man’s stomach. Solomon barely feels it. He shoves Isaiah aside and grabs the base of Scoops’ ladder, shaking it like a tree. Scoops holds on tight, his knuckles turning white as he tries to continue his climb.

Jennie claws at her shackles with her fingernails before she yanks on her chain again, but it holds. Betsy crawls to the bottom of the ladder and tugs at Scoops’ leg. He stomps down, catching her in the shoulder, and keeps climbing.

Solomon plants a massive hand on the ladder, but Isaiah slams into him one more time, driving both of them into the corner. The entire Tub shakes from the collision.

JC: It’s every captain for themselves! Scoops McGee is almost out!

The camera cuts to a high shot. Scoops reaches the top rung, his muscles trembling. The ladder bends under his weight but holds. He hauls himself over the rim of the tub, vanishing into the darkness above.

SCOOPS ESCAPES SECOND

JR: SCOOPS MCGEE ESCAPES! The veteran did it! Second out of the Tub!

JC: That’s two gone—Kieran King and Scoops McGee—and four still chained in hell!

JR: And somewhere up above, Charlie Nickles is still chasing ghosts and grudges!

Four captains remain in the filth of the pool. The hacksaw lies between them like bait as their chains drag along the floor.

Betsy is first to move. She dives for the hacksaw and hooks it close with her forearm. Jennie splashes after her and throws a forearm into the shoulder to knock it loose. The blade kicks out of Betsy’s hands and skates along the tile toward Isaiah. He snatches it, sets the teeth to the bolt at his ankle, and starts grinding. Sparks spit under the yellow light. Solomon stalks across the pool with purpose and crushes Isaiah with a spear that drives both of them into the wall!

The hacksaw bursts free and skids back across the center like a skipped stone.

The camera tracks the saw as Jennie slides in on both knees and clamps it. She works fast, cutting low, using her knee as a brace. The first cuff gives with a harsh pop. She flips to the second. But Betsy is there and rips Jennie backward by the waist to break the angle. The saw slips. Jennie keeps a grip with one hand while she clubs at Betsy with the other. Solomon arrives and wraps an arm across both of them, hauling them off the tool. Isaiah crawls over their legs and scoops it for himself again.

JC: It is a tug of war with teeth. Whoever keeps that blade for more than two seconds is going to change the match.

JR: And the Tub is not giving anyone clean footing. Every step is a slippery trap! This is just like UFC 109! If you know, you know!

Isaiah plants the blade to the metal again and pushes hard. The camera tightens for the torture of it. Steel shrieks and the bolt begins to warp- until Solomon kicks the hacksaw aside. Isaiah keeps the handle in his fingers, stretches, and drags it back. Jennie dives for his knuckles. Betsy rugby tackles both and the saw flies out of the pile. It lands near the foot of the ladder and stops just short of the rung like it knows better than to climb.

Then the picture jumps. Upstairs. The catwalk shakes. Kieran King slips through frame like a shadow and quickly vanishes. Charlie Nickles appears right behind him, a streak of blood at his lip and fury in his eyes. “You can run, but you can’t hide!”

JR: Charlie is still hunting the champion. He will not let Relentless go!

JC: The Corporation wanted Charlie as Referee so he could help them cheat the match, but instead, he’s been too busy chasing the past! He’s just leaving his sister and his accomplice to fend for themselves down there!

Back in the Tub, Betsy makes the play no one expects. She ignores the hacksaw for a beat and climbs onto Solomon’s back like a climber finding a ledge. She snakes her chain around his throat for leverage and uses the strap to yank him off balance. He staggers, catches himself, and whips her off with a brutal twist.

Taking advantage of the chaos, Jennie scoots low and gets the hacksaw again. She is halfway through the last cuff when Betsy slides in, low and mean, and scythes Jennie’s legs. The saw clacks off the tile and settles near Isaiah’s boots. Isaiah brings it up fast. He is about to finish the cut when the camera suddenly blurs with motion.

JC: OH MY GOD!

Charlie has dropped in from above, right atop Isaiah King!

His body lands heavy, splashing water to all 4 Corners of the Killer Tub. The impact rattles the ladders and sends a tremor through the concrete. His face is covered in a fresh crimson mask as he lies lifeless in the middle of the pool, limbs splayed like a marionette with cut strings.

Just above the rim of the Killer Tub, a shadowy King flashes a smile before slipping back into the darkness.

JC: Oh my God, Kieran King just threw Charlie Nickles from the catwalk into the Tub!

JR: That is pure power. The Universal Champion just turned the referee into wreckage!

The referee does not move for a long moment. The four captains stare down at him, unsure if the match even continues. Then Charlie twitches and slowly rolls to his side, coughing up water and blood. His eyes open wide and wild, searching for the hacksaw. He looks at it, then at Isaiah King, who is struggling to get up. With the heel of his boot, Charlie kicks the saw toward Jennie. A slow, deliberate motion, a brother’s will overriding pain.

JC: The special referee is back in the Tub and he is not hiding the bias. He just handed his sister a lifeline!

JR: He is bleeding from the face and still finding ways to cheat for his sister. Now that’s what family is all about!

Jennie clutches the hacksaw, shaking but determined. She sets it to her final chain. The blade grinds fast and rough. Sparks spit through the filth. She is close, two pulls from freedom, when Solomon’s shadow falls across her.

Charlie screams for Kline to stop, but he’s too weak to stand up and stop him- so Solomon grabs Jennie by her hair, dragging her up before throwing her across the ring! Solomon reaches down to grab the hacksaw, but Jennie doesn’t stay down for long! Instead, she comes back and wraps the chains around Solomon’s throat, pulling both members of The Corporation down into the mucky water!

JC: The Corporation is falling apart right now! If they’d work together, they could both exit the tub, but instead, they’re fighting like crabs in a bucket!

Betsy sees the moment and bolts for the hacksaw, eyes wide and desperate. While Jennie’s trying to choke the life out of Solomon, Betsy is trying to cut through her chains with the steel teeth. When the saw clicks through its last bite of metal Betsy finally stands tall, wild and free.

Isaiah staggers, still half bound, trying to follow.The camera follows Betsy as she charges towards the ladder. Charlie reaches out and nearly catches her ankle, but Betsy is too quick! She hopscotches right over and out of his grasp! The Impossible Traveler begins to make the climb!

JC: Betsy Granger is making her break.

JR: She is not hesitating for a second. She wants that third slot!

Betsy climbs. The ladder bends under her but holds. One last pull and she is gone over the rim, disappearing into shadow.

BETSY GRANGER ESCAPES THIRD

JR: Betsy Granger escapes, the third captain out.

JC: The Tub belongs to the Corporation now, with one King still trapped inside!

Only Jennie, Isaiah, and Solomon remain. Charlie stands bloody between them, reaching out and grabbing hold of his hacksaw once more.

Isaiah steadies himself, fists up. The referee stares at him with disdain, and Isaiah stares back at the glint of the hacksaw. Isaiah charges forward but Charlie swings first, smashing Isaiah in the jaw, but Isaiah answers with a gut shot that folds him over. Another to the ribs. A hook sends the special ref stumbling into the wall.

The hacksaw is loose again, half submerged in muck. Solomon and Jennie both race towards it at the same time, each jockeying the other for position. Across the pool, Isaiah and Charlie trade haymakers with each other: but only until the champion gets advantage. A strong right hook sends Charlie reeling against the wall, but Isaiah King doesn’t let him fall: instead, Isaiah grabs Charlie by the neck before executing a picture perfect spinning impaler DDT!

JC: THE KING’S DECREE!

JR: ARE YOU ALLOWED TO DO THAT TO THE REFEREE?!

Jennie and Solomon brawl right atop the hacksaw, each trying to get control of it. But when Isaiah rises out of the water, he sees his chance. Isaiah King steps over Charlie’s limp body before grabbing Solomon and Jennie each by the ear. Then, he smashes their heads into each other at full force! Both Solomon and Jennie collapse as Isaiah grabs hold of the hacksaw and begins sawing through his chains.

JC: THAT’S CONCUSSION CENTRAL FOR THE CORPORATION!

JR: All the time that Solomon and Jennie spent fighting over the hacksaw, they could’ve spent freeing themselves if they were working together!

JC: There’s no loyalty or camaraderie inside The Corporation, Joe! This is a tell-tale sign!

Isaiah grins when his chains finally break. He throws the hacksaw across the ring before sprinting over towards the nearest ladder, pulling himself up and over the tub of the rim with incredible swiftness!

ISAIAH KING ESCAPES FOURTH!

JR: Isaiah King escapes. He is the fourth out of the Tub.

JC: That leaves the Corporation alone, Jennie and Solomon, to finish this thing.

Jennie and Solomon slowly rise through the murky water. Their eyes lock in the dim yellow light, and the Tub seems to shrink around them. The air is thick with rust, sweat, and betrayal. Charlie drags himself upright along the wall, face streaked with red and filth, one eye nearly swollen shut.

The special referee looks between his Corporate Associates. For a moment, it feels like even he doesn’t know what’s coming next.

Then, Charlie kicks the hacksaw across the water toward his sister.

“Finish it.” he says, voice raw and low.

JR: There’s no pretending now. Charlie Nickles is giving orders!

JC: That’s his sister, that’s his Corporation. And he’s made his choice right in front of Solomon Kline.

Solomon freezes. His jaw tightens.

Jennie kneels, shaking, and grabs the hacksaw. The blade is dull, teeth bent and dirty, but she presses it against her shackle anyway. The screech of steel on steel echoes through the pit.

Solomon’s voice breaks the tension. “You picked wrong.”

Charlie doesn’t respond. He only tilts his head slightly, as if daring Solomon to make the first move.

That’s when “Psycho” Solomon’s face twists. He grabs at the chain around his ankle and yanks once, twice, three times. The bolts holding it to the concrete begin to crack. He roars through gritted teeth and rips the anchor completely out of the floor. The Tub shakes with the sheer force of it!

JC: Solomon Kline is tearing his restraints out of the floor!

JR: That is raw power and pure rage, partner. The man is unchained in every sense of the word!

Jennie rips the saw upward one last time. The final bolt snaps, and the sound rings like a gunshot in the hollow chamber.

Jennie is free.

But so is Solomon!

Jennie scrambles for the ladder closest to her. Solomon storms to the other. They both start climbing, water cascading off their bodies, the Tub echoing with the groan of rusted steel. Charlie stumbles after Solomon, climbing up the ladder behind him, trying to grab hold of Kline’s legs to slow him down.

JC: The Corporation is tearing itself apart! Jennie Nickles on one side, Psycho Solomon on the other!

JR: Only one of them is getting out, and those ladders look ready to give way!

Jennie climbs fast, every rung moaning under her weight. But Solomon hauls himself upward with raw strength, his massive hands gripping the metal, bending it with every pull even as Charlie tries to drag him down.

Jennie’s hand finds the top rung. Solomon’s does too.

For one heartbeat, they climb in unison.

But then a sharp metallic crack cuts through the air like thunder.

Kline’s ladder splits down the center. The entire frame folding beneath the combined weight of Solomon and Charlie, giving way all at once. The pair drop like a stone, crashing into the water below as the rusty ladder collapses on top of them.

Jennie pulls herself over the rim. Her hands dig into the concrete as her knees scrape the lip of the pool.

The bell tolls.

JENNIE NICKLES ESCAPES FIFTH

JR: Jennie Nickles escapes. The fifth captain out of the Killer Tub! This hellacious match is finally over, and our War Games draft order is set!

JC: I don’t know if I’d call what we just saw a match… or even competition… that was TORTURE! We saw six captains enter the killer tub… And honestly, I’m less concerned with the order and more thankful they all survived!



”HOLD IT! HOLD IT!”

The Trillionaires storm through the curtain… Elon leading the charge toward the ring, Bezos and Zuck behind him.

”JENNIE NICKLES!”

Off to the side of the killer tub, Jennie Nickles sits up, looking physically exhausted, but otherwise disinterested by this small, shrieking emerald mine nepobaby…

”As your BOSSES… We have CHARGES to lay against you!”

Elon shoves the microphone into Zuck’s chest… as he pulls out a little print out.

”Sup, J-honey. Uh…” Zuck unfurls his print-out…

”You stand accused of…

Workplace violence for trying to strangle Warfare General Manger, Peter Principle…

The destruction of company property for… beheading Grok…

Portraying the company in a bad light, vis a vis, protests against the company because of you… Lawsuits against the company…”

JC: That one feels like it’s more on the XWF than Jennie! Their security is the one that attacked those protesting fans, not Jennie!

JR: They also sign our paychecks, Jacuinde…

JC: …*gulp*

Zuck continues reading charges…

”Refusing to apologize, and instead doubling down when we graciously gave you the opportunity to own your mistakes…

Insulted the entire WarGames draft class…

And you comm-”

Elon snatches the microphone. ”AND YOU CLAIMED MY GROK-Y-POO WITH YOUR BODY, YOU… YOU WITCH! YOU TEMPTRESS!!”

Bezos grabs Elon by the arm, trying to pull him back as Zuck takes the microphone… ”HOMEWRECKER!” Elon declares before being brought back…

”Okay, what my homey Easy E meant to say was… production of a lewd, not TV airable segment suitable for all ages…”

“And generally challenging our authority as your employers.”

Zuck folds up his print-out and steps back… Bezos steps forward… as Elon quietly stews in the background…

”What’s funny to ME, Miss Nickles, is… you’re acting like you’re holding all the cards.”

“Let me remind you that… the MOMENT we fire you… you’re going back to prison. To serve your FULL sentence. Do you think you’re getting a day off for good behavior after what the WORLD saw you do in that ring? They’ll lock you up and throw away the key.”

…

”That said… we will not be ending your employment at this point.”

The crowd offers a mixture of cheers and boos!

”But a punishment is still in order…”

“You, Jennie Nickles… are hereby STRIPPED of your title as WarGames Captain!”

JC: Oh my! Jennie just fought like hell to escape that Killer Tub… Now she doesn’t even get the Captain role that comes with it…

”You are being transitioned from Captain… to Draftee… and I will warn all captains… whoever drafts Jennie Nickles… she will be entering the match FIRST!”

The crowd gets louder, both the angry ones and the delighted ones, though in reverse configuration from the mixed cheers and boos before… as Jennie rolls her eyes, fighting her way up to her feet…

Elon steps up and takes the microphone from Bezos.

”Now, you may be wondering… if Jennie’s not a captain… who will be? Well…” Elon smiles. ”Fortunately… there are some people who know the value of working with management…”

Jennie peers confused up the ramp…

As a figure approaches her from behind…

JC: Jennie! Watch out!

JR: The killer is being hunted! …And she’s got something in her hands!

Jennie turns aro-

WHAM!

Jennie gets decked in the skull by…

ROXY COTTON!

JC: Vinnie Lane’s wife! Vinnie got bamboozled by the Trillionaires into selling his shares! Why the hell is she aligned with them!

Jennie’s back thuds against the concrete… as Roxy lifts up what she just hit Jennie with…

THE GROK’S DISEMBODIED HEAD!

JC: Oh my GOD! So… So, whatever team drafts Jennie, she goes first…

JR: Roxy Cotton just got upgraded to Captain…

JC: And all the XWF Titles are still on the line at WarGames! IN the WarGames match!

JR: It’s gonna get absolutely nuts, Jacuinde!

SPECIAL THANKS TO... MATCH WRITERS Peter Principle John Black Gator Charlie Nickles SEGMENT WRITERS Dickie Watson Kieran King Kristoffer ‘Vamp’ Arroyo The Trillionaires AND EVERYONE WHO RP'D!

"Your king will do you all one mercy. I'll spoil half of the secret right here...

I'm not subjecting myself to the whims of the peasantry. I'm not leveraging the snake draft to take the sixth and seventh picks.

I'm choosing first.

And just like at Ides of March, I will walk in, and I will walk out... 'AND STILL!!!...'

You know how it goes...

LONG LIVE THE KING"