A darkened room looms, the lighting perfect since you can tell it is a room and not a blank screen. A spotlight shines, and Genevieve Tote, Bobby Bourbon’s publicist, walks out.

Ladies and gentlemen, a statement from the greatest wrestler in XWF history. Ask Isaiah King. This is Bobby.

Bobby walks out, sporting the most ostentatious, most ridiculous, and, most rad mullet you have ever seen. Only a badass would wear such a hairdo. Pastiche? Maybe, but, do you have the backbone?

Sup fools.

I got a haircut, to match how fucking unending I am.

Bobby shakes his head, showcasing the unsexy warrior's cut cascading from his scalp.

Didja know that the mullet as it were is outlawed in some countries? Well, as the premiere American revolutionary alive, here I am, and if your nation won't sign me, they won't hire the most money supermegastar in XWF History. Every accolade.

The soon to be first 3 time Universal Champion.

First ever 3 time Champ.

Mark, take note, you’re a good guy but still No Win Flynn.

Not

On

My

Level.

I proved it because, well, Corey is champ right now!

Briefcase bros.!

"Nice to see you getting a briefcase hasn't gone to your head, Bobb-o."

"Good for you. Only took getting booked in a Leap of Faith match that I wasn't also in."

"Stay humble, Bobert. Run some laps."

"Sincerely, Your Briefcase Bro."