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Hunter Payne · (09-23-2016)

With the number one overall pick, Hunter Payne will now be representing

The controversial,

The very unstable,

All-American Linebacker,

THAD CASTLE!

Blue Mountain State

Wow! What a pick!

Now since the NCAA are being dicks as usual, instead of game footage, here is a closer look at Thad Castle.

Now turning to the NFL Total access analysts

Lindsey Rhodes: Wow! Now Thad is currently nursing a thigh injury, with no immediate timetable to return to the football field. But with his size, strength, and huge personality, I have a feeling coach Payne will find creative ways to use him in the meantime.

Willie McGinest: Plus, let's not forget with the recent death of Hunter Payne's former bodyguard Ray Peterson (RIP), there is a big void at bodyguard that Thad Castle can fill in on day one!

Sean O'Hara: Is it a risk? Absolutely, but if anyone can get a out-of-control drug user in line, it's Hunter Payne. After all, preaching a life of sobriety was Payne's "thing" back in the day. So I am loving this pick!

Dan Hellie: And this just in, we are now going live to Thad Castle! Thad, hey buddy! Thank you for being here.

Thad Castle: You're welcome for having me.

Dan Hellie: Okay... Thad. What made you sign with Hunter Payne?

Thad Castle: He said if sign with him, I can make a billion dollars!

Willie McGinest: A billion dollars Thad?! Seems like an idiotic figure.

Thad Castle: You seem like an idiotic figure!

Sean O'Hara: Now Thad, you've had an insane amount of off-the-field issues. Do you think you deserve another chance?

Thad Castle: Yes. Duh! What a stupid question!

Lindsey Rhodes: Now you are currently injured Thad, have you recieved any updates on when you can play again?

Thad Castle: I can play whenever I want to!

Willie McGinest: That's not what I heard.

Thad Castle: Well you heard wrong bromigo! I AM THE BEST FOOTBALL PLAYER IN THE UNIVERSE! THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER!

Thad removes his mic piece and storms off before the camera feed shuts off.

Sean O'Hara: Final thoughts, good luck Hunter Payne. You're gonna need it...

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