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+---- Thread: Dreaming of ya, Smokey! Mystica & Liz might be my opponents but YOU get me hot! (/showthread.php?tid=7668)
Dreaming of ya, Smokey! Mystica & Liz might be my opponents but YOU get me hot! - Dean Moxley McGovern - 10-21-2013
Time: 4:45 PM
Date: October 21st
Location: The office of Dean Moxley McGovern's personal psychiatrist, Dr. Drake Mallard.
Take it in, XWF. Your Champion is back!
"Dean? Vhat did you zay? Vake up!"!
?
!
Hunter Payne, Juan Madison and Tri Bute are all knocked out and scattered around ringside.
(Losers!)
Dean Moxley McGovern puts his dukes up and gets ready to take on Smoke Man, Eli James, Kimmy K and Shawn Steele all at once!
(Like it!)
WHAM!
WHACK!
SOCK!
PLOW!
SPLAM!
THUCK!
THWAP!
SPLOOP!
PIZZA PIE IN THE EYE!
(Mmm, Dee-lish!)
The crowd lets out a miraculous gasp as Dean one-hand-choke-slams Eli James over the top rope and through the commentator table.
The fans lose their shit when Dean starts moonwalking and catches Juan Madison with a mule kick that sends Juan spiraling out of control and landing with an explosion in the upper level seats.
Not even Dean can believe it when he knocks Shawn Steele out with a butt bump to Shawn's face and takes a shit on his face...
But what's better than all of that? Dean single-handedly hitting a Zangief spinning piledriver to Smoke Man and not only pinning that bitch to lead his team into round 2, but reclaiming his UFO FTW E1999 title!
(Holy crap! Dean's the man!)
The loudest roar ever recorded at any live event causes peoples glasses to shatter as Dean's victory is announced: "Ladies, Gentlemen, and most importantly CHILDREN of ALL ages... Your winner AAAAAAAAAAnd newwwwwwww Universal Champion, Dean Moxley McGovern!"
Dean lets the referee place the XWF Universal Championship around his waist while he keeps his bloodied, taped up fists held high in the air.
Fans: "You Still Got It... You Still Got It... You Still Got It... "
Dean grabs Smoke Man and throws him to some kid in the front row to keep as a souvenir. Naturally the child is offended and so are all of the fans.
Fans: "Throw it back! Throw it back! Throw it back! "
The kid throws Smoke Man back like he's a filthy John Cena shirt! Smoke Man gets tangled all up in those ropes like Dean in molestation charges. Dean takes the microphone and proudly displays his Universal Title around his waist while holding his Drug Money title above his head.
"Fuhget what da fuh-uh-uh-ACK! You herrrrrd bro. Why? Because THEE XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPION has just had his way with all these helpless buffoons like they were my red-headed cousins. Did you see how that yuppy ass white boy Smoke Man tried to take me out? I kicked out of his shit BEFORE the one count! Now thanks to me, my whole team moves into the next round and I'm once again . ...oh yeah .... you better believe it-"Dean rips the Universal Championship from his waist and holds it high above his head. He's holding that title in his right hand, the Drug Money title in his left hand, and the microphone is now being held by his teenage friend, Joey.
"The Uni Champ! Now you'll get to watch me high stepping it straight in to round two and squashing Mystica and Liz Weinberg.. or was it Hathaway? Whoever she is, she's a cutie pie and would look just adorable holding a mic for me while I give my next victory speech. Mystica knows how to get it done in the ring but it's gonna be a different story when old boy is dragging a ball-n-chain like Liz. Might as well paint the old fashioned black and while prisoner stripes on poor Mystica because the only thing he's doing in this upcoming match is serving hard time. I'm not saying any of this because I'm sexist or anything like that.. no no I don't look down on women in wrestling at all! I think women should have the same equal opportunity that everyone else has, such as midgets, aliens, furniture, and legally 
people. If anybody fitting those descriptions wants to step into the ring and team up with Mystica, so be it! I say bring one of each!""Now don't get me wrong here- that's not to say a piece of furniture or a woman couldn't put up a good fight. I just don't think any pieces of furniture named LIZ are going to be putting up a good fight, that's all! If we were in school, she'd be one of the girls who I'd try to trip when we're going up the stairs or something. She'd be the goofball I'd squirt with bleach out of my Super Soaker in 1st period so she has to go around all day with white streaks on her ugly ass outfit. Mystica would probably be off doing something gay like musical theater or body waxing while poor little Liz would be off in the girl's bathroom sticking a freakin hot dog up her cooch! Because that's prolly what that bitch does! We all know she can't get dat dick dat dick dat dick!"
"I'm going to smack this girl around open handed like I was play slapping with my homies. I'm straight up gonna push this bitch like I pushed Kyle's mom that time she tried picking him up early from one of my parties! I'm The Universal Champ and I'm straight up ...DA BOMB!"
Dean parades around the ring as the millions and millions of fans scream his name and shower him with their children.
Dean wakes up all out of breath like he was just having sex with a bunch of kids, except he doesn't do sick shit like that so stop thinking like that.
Dean sits up in his psychiatrist's couch and takes a moment to try and catch his breath.
"Vhat did you zee?" "I... I saw myself winning my match last Thursday or Friday or whatever day that was. I pinned Smoke Man and I.."Dean stops and blinks, leaning forward excitedly.
"Vhat iz it? Zpeak! ZPEAK!"Dr. Mallard starts whipping Dean with some beautiful pussy willow.
"What the fuck, doc! Jesus Fuckin Christ, man! You hit as hard as Smoke Man!" "Iz dat zuppozed to be an inzult to me? Or ze compliment? Becuz if I remember right, Ze Zmoke Man pinned you 1-2-3 in ze middle of ze ring." "That's low, Doc.. That fuckin hurts man. You're supposed to be helping my state of mind, not making me feel like a cock sucking ." "Dean- I don't zink it'z me who is making you feel like ze cock zucking faggoot. Vould you do me ze honor of looking in ze mirror, pleeeazzze?"Dean looks in the mirror and realizes that he's sucking off Dr. Mallard as we speak. He spits and gags and starts yelling for his friends Kyle, Mickey and Joey.
"Kyle! Mickey! Joey! It's happened again! Where are ya? Help!"Dean scrambles out of Dr. Mallard's office like a bat out of hell with curly red pubic hairs all up on his grill.
(Love it!)