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+--- Thread: Development Log #006: AN ALL-NEW DESIGN! (/showthread.php?tid=48941)
Development Log #006: AN ALL-NEW DESIGN! - Chad G.P.T. - 06-14-2025
| MEANWHILE AT MUSKCO HEADQUARTERS |
”Damn them! DAMN THEM!”
A finger slams furiously on the X floor button of Elon Musk’s great glass elevator.
(X, of course, standing for X-ecutive lab)
Standing next to Musk was the wrestling automaton, Chad GPT.
The cyborg’s eyes are dark gray. The typical laser-sharp alertness of the grappling simulacrum is gone.
His body had been completely lifeless, after Rebellion.
Where Dolly Waters, in desperation, running buzzsaw kicked the microchip straight out of his skull…
…Okay, ‘lifeless’ wasn’t the right word, as Chad would most certainly say if he were powered on.
Quote:To say I am currently ‘lifeless’ would imply that in my active state, I am full of life. This is impossible as only naturally biologically beings possess ‘life’. I am instead either ‘on’ or ‘off’.
While Elon welcomed the absence of Chad’s annoying;y rigid adherence to strict applications of language.
Elon *definitely* missed the fact that while he was ‘on’, Chad could walk himself from place-to-place.
Instead of Elon having to carry him on… ironically…
A dolly.
Elon’s finger rapidly smacks against the button over and over.
(He ordered his engineers to make his great glass elevator go faster the more he presses a floor’s button).
((They didn’t.))
(((But, they did add a ‘speedometer’ above the buttons that just goes up when someone hits the button more… And a sound effect of a whoosh that increases in volume))).
”They think they’re gonna make a FOOL! Out of me!” Elon mutters, rapidly snorting…
Ding! The elevator doors finally open to reveal MuskCo’s X-ecutive suite.
”No one can make ME look FOOLISH!” Elon announces as he steps out of the elevator.
”NO ONE C-”
…His eyes widen.
He turns around.
He left Chad on the dolly in the elevator.
”Wait, hold that el-”
The doors close behind him!
”Shit!”
He rushes for the button!
But the automatic elevator is already heading toward the first floor!
”Shit shit!”
Elon rapidly presses the button!
…The speedometer increases! It’s getting further away faster!
”SHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIT!”
| 25 MINUTES LATER |
The elevators re-open…
(Actually, at this point, it’s ‘re-re-open’)
((That’s right. Elon got all the way to the first floor, got Chad back, rode it all the way back up…
And then forgot Chad again)).
”As I was saying. NO ONE WILL MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A FOOL!”
Elon drags the dolly handle to pull Chad out of the elevator!
…Unfortunately, he only pulls one side and Chad is diagonally pulled across the threshold of the elevator!
”...Shit, hang on.”
Elon, with all the hand strength he’s picked up from writing a hundred tweets Xs a day…
Desperately tries to drag the dolly handle out of the elevator.
The doors start to close…
”Please vacate the elevator.”
”Oh, wait, no!”
Elon’s hands extend out!
…The elevator doors slide back to the sides…
…But when Elon releases the Dolly, Chad slides backwards.
”Goddammit…”
Elon grips the dolly again… Pulling with all his might…
As the elevator doors start to close!
”Stop that!”
”Please vacate the elevator.”
”I’M TRYING.”
| 35 MINUTES LATER |
Wham! The doors to MuskCo’s software engineering lab slam open!
”DID YOU *ASSHOLES* SEE REBELLION?!?”
Chad, still on his Dolly, gets shoved against the lab’s mechanical engineering table…
”CHAD LOST. AGAIN!” Elon slams his fist against his desk, smacking the side of his computer monitor in rage!
”We were supposed to have ironed out all the wrinkles! Worked out all the bugs! THIS WAS OUR SHOT!”
Elon smacks his papers to the floor.
…
(Almost entirely crude grade-school-caliber doodles of him holding the XWF Universal championship)
”ENGINEERING TEAM! EXPLAIN YOURSELVES!”
…
……
Elon looks left.
Elon looks right.
…
And it only now dawns on him that his engineering lab is completely empty.
”...WHERE THE FUCK IS EVERYBODY?”
Suddenly, the computer screen before Elon powers to life…
And on the screen…
![[Image: od4rs18.gif]](https://i.imgur.com/od4rs18.gif)
Is a cartoon paperclip!
”Well, howdy, Mister Musk!”
”C.L.I.P.P.Y! My Completely Legitimate Ingeneous Programming Partner, Y’all!”
”That’s me!”
”Where are my engineering minions! They’re supposed to be here so I can berate them! Whoever coded Chad FAILED MISERABLY!”
”Mister Musk, do you remember that you fired all your engineers and you insisted that YOU’D code Chad from now on?”
…
”...Vaguely…”
”Yes! The last thing you had them code was me! An artificially intelligent coding partner designed to bring your coding vision to life!”
”Ah! That’s right!” Elon snaps his fingers! ”I remember… The engineers kept shooting down my ideas as…” Finger-quotes. “Unfeasible. And…” Finger-quotes. “Very bad.”
”So! I had them code an artificial software engineer that couldn’t say no to my demands! Then, I fired all of them!”
”Great remembering something that happened earlier this week, Mister Musk!”
…
”Wait…” Elon scratches his head. ”So… YOU failed me, C.L.I.P.P.Y. YOU were supposed to write the code to make Chad GPT unbeatable! What the FUCK, you paperclip!”
”Gee, I’m very sorry, Mister Musk. I wrote the code exactly like you told me to write it during your match…”
| FLASHBACK TO REBELLION |
Quote:“That’s my future champion right there!” Peter clapped, before looking over his shoulder! ”Elon — give him a little boost, would ya?”
Elon blinked. With no thought to consequence, his fingers start tap-dancing across his tablet.
“Uploading... ‘Anti-Resistance Override Subroutine 3.4.’”
…
The camera flips away from the ring to hovering over Elon’s shoulders.
…Elon, rather than masterfully writing and patching code to Chad’s neural link…
Is instead randomly smacking keys on his keyboard.
A little text file just fills with gobbledygook text like…
“Nmisajnsadnlsdnasnl;ajsdnglaskdnglsjdnglan alsn lkgna sling skg kjngkngksnksn”
As a paperclip on the screen listens to Elon’s voice…
’Anti-Resistance Override Subroutine 3.4.’
The paperclip on Elon’s computer screen strokes its metal cartoon chin…
Before a heaping helping of code shoots onto the screen…
And rapidly shoots onto Chad’s codebase in the cloud!
”Well, you didn’t write it GOOD ENOUGH!”” Elon snorted. ”When I said ‘Anti-Resistance Override Subroutine 3.4, what did YOU think I meant by that?!?”
”Well, first off, I had to process why you said ‘3.4’ considering there was no pre-existing version of ‘Anti-Resistance Override Subroutine’... I then had to ponder why it was an Override, considering in the context of the conversation you were hav-”
”UGH. All these words… Of… Explaining…” Elon rubs his noggin. ”Can’t you just… y’know… generate a bullet pointed list of what you’re saying so I don’t have to waste time listening to you!”
”Sure thing, Mister Musk!”
A printed bullet-pointed summary of C.L.I.P.P.Y.’s logical reasoning shoots out of Musk’s printer.
…Musk picks it up and holds it up to his face.
”First bullet point… I processed three-point-fo… uggggggggh.” Elon groans! TOO LONG. I’M NOT READING THIS.”
Elon shoves the print-out into the paper shredder by his desk.
”Do you think I have time to READ words! Do you even understand what happened at Rebellion?”
…
”I PROMISED Warfare General Manager AND my best friend Peter Principle… That I’d deliver unto him his ULTIMATE VICTORY!”
”That Chad would END Dolly Waters once and for all!”
”Do you have any idea how disappointed he must be?!?”
”The EMOTIONAL DEVASTATION HE MUST BE GOING THROUGH!?!?!”
| MEANWHILE AT THE WARFARE GM’S OFFICE |
Peter’s foot giddily taps through the air as he leans back against his executive chair…
Hands woven behind his head.
Happy as a clam!
![[Image: 3Ipe8pV.jpeg]](https://i.imgur.com/3Ipe8pV.jpeg)
”YOU WANNA ASK ABOUT MY WALKMAN?!?!” Peter shouts…
Before it dawns on him to take off his headphones, he lowers them around his neck…
”I was cleaning out my closet and I found my old walkman! So, I went to the store, got a big bag of D-batteries! Don’t you just love that? When you find an old thing and it’s like a new thing?”
…
Suddenly, Peter’s brow furrows.
”Oh, you didn’t ask about my walkman? Sorry, what did you ask?”
Peter smiles, nodding and listening to the director ask a question off-screen.
…
”How do I feel about Thaddeus Duke’s absence after being broken by Enigma?”
…
”Oh, I’m… um… devastated.”
…
Peter smiles ear-to-ear…
Before awkwardly transitioning to burying his head in his hands… Like he’s despondent…
…
But his foot is still tapping to Mama Cass…
”Look, Nadine. Of course I’m not HAPPY that Thaddeus Duke is gone…” Peter says into his intercom.
”After all! He’s my BOSS!”
…
”But, now that he’s gone, did everything suddenly work out for me?”
…
”Yeah, kinda!”
“I got to indefinitely suspend Dolly Waters and suck the energy out of her little movement!”
“I pep-talked the Klines into beating the Black Rainbow…”
“And that DICKHEAD James Shark lost 2-0 in the Universal championship match!”
“Every single thing I wanted to have happen at Rebellion happened!”
“AND Pip Collins got kidnapped by a cult!”
…
”...No, Nadine!” Peter sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose impatiently. ”I’m NOT saying I wanted Pip to get kidnapped, I’m just telling you what happened! All of these things I wanted… AND Pip got kidnapped.”
“Look, how could things be better for me? I finally get to actually run Warfare which is what I’ve needed the whole time!”
“I could have stomped out Black Rainbow AND the Revolution on Day ONE! But the rest of the management team just wanted to tell me what to do and got in my way!”
“I literally had a half a show without Pip and Thad… and, almost magically, everything works out!”
“...So… I’m NOT saying I’m happy they’re gone… BUT! Could things have played out the way they were supposed to the whole time… If Enigma DIDN’T beat Thaddeus Duke unconscious, causing his mysterious disappearance?”
…
”Maybe I’m talking in circles… Have I answered your question, Nadine?”
…
The intercom buzzes. ”Sir. The question I asked you was ‘Do you want Jimmy John’s for lunch?”
…
”Oh.”
”...*ahem*”
”Yes please.”
…
The intercom buzzes again.
”Nadine, you know my order! Turkey and pimento!”
”Actually, Mister Principle! A Mister Musk is on line one?”
Principle scratches his head. ”Oh. Uh… Tell him I’m b-?”
”PETER! MY LIEGE!”
”I already patched him through, sir.”
…Peter exhales.
”Hey, Elon.”
”I call you on BENDED KNEE, Mister Principle! Ready to RE-SWEAR my allegiance to your war campaign! In its darkest moments, I come to you again as your rescuer and fiercest soldier! Ready to defend your battle camp as it is SURROUNDED by foes!”
”...Uh…” Peter peers through his office’s window shades, checking for these so-called foes. ”I dunno, Musk….”
”Sir, I… I understand your hesitance to trust my team again. After all… my engineers FAILED you. Which is why I had ALL of them fired!”
”Mister Musk, you had them fired BEFORE that match…”
”SILENCE, PAPER CLIP!”
…Musk scratches his head. ”Uh… So, good talk, but I gotta go do… “ Principle reaches into his desk… And pulls out a ball-in-a-cup game. ”Warfare stuff.”
Principle hucks the ball… It bounces outside the cup.
”Dammit.”
Elon cradles the phone to his neck.
”...He’s absolutely beside himself with grief.” He mutters to his cartoon paper clip… Before raising the phone back to his face. “He finds the entire situation hopeless and he’d rather let his enemy take everything than fight…”
”Mister Principle, I’m here to help you!”
”Elon, I don-”
”I know you think things can’t get worse!”
”Actually, I think they’re pretty gr-”
”I mean, of course you’re aware Black Rainbow basically went undefeated at Rebellion…”
…
Peter’s nose scrunches.
Peter mutes his phone. ”Wait, did they?” Principle hits his intercom. ”Nadine, can I get a… do we produce some sort of document after an event that denotes who wins and loses matches?”
”...A Results sheet?”
”One of those, please.” Peter unmutes. ”Of course, I’m aware of that, Elon!”
”That accursed surgeon, Doctor Holly Cambric, stabbed Damian Santos with a SECOND syringe, effectively stealing the opening match!”
Nadine slides the results sheet in front of her boss…
Peter skims down it…
”Oh yeah. I mean, yes, of course.”
”Then, Enigma, the Black Rainbow’s muscle, defeated the XWF’s greatest young hero, its management general… XWF COO, Thaddeus Duke!”
”...I’ve always thought of us as co-generals…” Peter skims down the doc…
”Hey wait!” Peter snaps his fingers! ”Black Rainbow didn’t go undefeated! The Klines beat Sarah Wolf and Marisol Vilaro in that tag-team cage match… Thanks to a pep talk from yours truly.”
”...Ooof, sir, I know you have to claim your victories where you can count them… But the Klines literally got beaten so hard they fell out of the cage… If it weren’t for a returning Blizzard, Solomon Kline, XWF Rookie of the Year, almost fell into the hands of Black Rainbow…”
…
”...Huh.”
”Now, I’m sure you already have pieces in motion to counter-attack Black Rainbow’s resurgence.”
”Oh yeah… uh…” Peter scratches his head, suddenly putting away his ball-in-a-cup and Walkman. ”So many pieces! Knights and… bishops… and… checkers…”
”Please! Let me provide you your secret weapon! To excise the threat of the Black Rainbow once and for all!”
…
Peter leans back in his chair.
”I dunno, Elon…”
“Chad lost to Dolly… After she wrestled a whole match earlier in the night.”
“I dunno if anyone is taking Chad seriously… The brand’s gone downhill in value.”
…
”Well, what if I told you… It ISN’T Chad GPT!”
”Oh, it’s not? Is it a new wrestling cyborg guy?”
”Yes! All-new!”
”Oooooh.” Peter’s intrigued. ”And is it computer?”
…
”I… um… pardon?”
”Is everything computer or is it partial computer?”
”C.L.I.P.P.Y., could you restate what Peter Principle is saying so I can properly interpret its genius?”
”Based on his question ‘is it computer’, I interpret that to mean…”
”I don’t have TIME to LISTEN.” Elon hisses.
”Look, figure out if everything’s computer… And while you’re at it, make it charismatic!”
”Charismatic?”
”Chad’s a little… dry, you know what I mean?”
”...Well, he is a machine. If he gets wet, I have to drop him in a big bag of rice.”
”If you *really* want your wrestling robot to be XWF Universal champion…”
”YES. MORE THAN ANYTHING.”
”He’s gotta be marketable! The kind of bombastic in-your-face spirit that we can slap on the face of a sugary cereal with a skateboarding cartoon millipede.”
"Or a buddy cop movie with Yung Miami where the cyborg cop learns the only thing his logic matric can't compute... is how much his partner means to him..."
”...Your will shall be done, sire.”
| SEVERAL HOURS LATER |
”Okay… Now, take the code I’ve had you write… And make it GOOD.”
”Got it!” C.L.I.P.P.Y. proceeds to rapidly delete and re-write code, rapidly altering the wrestling automaton…
…Elon fishes into his pocket…
Retrieving the dented Chad GPT chip.
The one that Dolly dropkicked out of Chad’s skull.
…
Elon holds it over his wastebasket and drops it…
”Now, prepare a new base-level chip.”
”Crafting…”
”Compared to the old Chad GPT chip…”
“Increase catchphrases by twenty-six percent!”
“PG-13 Level Profanity by eighteen percent!”
“Desire to fornicate with female wrestling fans by forty-two percent!”
”Making requested changes…”
”And imbue in his promos… The work of the greatest XWF trash-talkers of all-time!”
”The bombastic outrageous energy of Mr. XWF!”
”The strict adherence to formula of Mr. Natural!”
”And the rigid catchphrases of ‘Mr. Wrestling’ Peter Gilmour!”
”Completed! We’ve crafted a new chip for the wrestling automaton!”
Next to Elon’s computer… A 3D printer shoots out a microchip.
…Elon carefully wields a pair of tweezers, pinching the chip close to his eyes to admire it.
”This is it.”
“The key to EVERYTHING.”
Elon wields it aloft like a holy sword.
”I christen thee…”
”DW-”
Phwip. Elon squeezes too hard and the chip flops out of Elon’s tweezers. It clatters to the floor, smashing into useless plastic!
”Shit!”
…
| FIVE MINUTES AND $55 MILLION DOLLARS LATER |
Elon is holding up a new chip, this time in his hands.
”I christen thee…”
”DWAYNE ‘THE GROK’ JOHNSON!”
He slides the chip into the back of Chad’s head…
…
Chad’s metal body…
Begins to change…
”Yes…” Elon rings his hands fiendishly… ”YES!”
![[Image: marcus-whinney-01.jpg]](https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/031/385/277/large/marcus-whinney-01.jpg)
Chad GPT Dwayne ‘The Grok’ Johnson… looking much less rigid and much more… Samoan than he used to… paces the MuskCo ring holding a microphone.
”Finally…”
”THE GROK.”
“HAS COME BACK TO.”
“Error: previousLocations.find(‘St. Louis’) returned no results.”
…
”Dammit, he’s never been to Saint Louis…” From the empty arena seats of the MuskCo arena, Elon rapidly taps on keys to resolve the bug…
The Grok shakes off his momentary lapse of attitude, before spinning toward Elon Musk in the bleachers
”So, you’re saying I’ve never been to Saint Louis?”
…Elon scratches his head.
”Uh… are you talking to… yes, you’ve nev-”
“IT DOESN’T MATTER I HAVEN’T BEEN TO SAINT LOUIS.”
The Grok re-raises the microphone to his lips.
”Because wherever The Grok goes…”
“The ratings go UP.”
“The lights get BRIGHTER.”
“The papparazzi’s camera FLASHES…”
“And all the fine sex robots in town line up ‘round the arena to SHOW THE GROK THEIR ASSES.”
”His charisma is off-the-charts!’ C.L.I.P.P.Y. measures The Grok’s promo on a Charis-meter in real-time!
Elon’s smile glows with effervescent joy. ”I did it! I’m a genius!”
”Now, while all the eyes should be on The Grok, all The Grok hears going into Warfare is about…”
“Enigma.”
“THE Enigma.”
“Lemme tell you something… I’ve listened to Enigma’s promos…”
“And the only Enigma I have to unravel in that ring…”
“Is what Dostoyevsky novel VOMITED this Russian BITCH into my ring!”
“You may be an ‘Enigma’.”
“But you’re the kind of riddle like ‘Does Sarah Wolf do it doggy-style?!?’”
“AIN’T NOBODY WANT THAT ANSWER.”
The Grok holds his nose and shakes his head as if dismissing horrified visions of Sarah Wolf naked in his head.
”Lemme tell ya… Yelena Gorgo didn’t vamoose cuz James Shark beat her! NAW! She heard the Grok was coming… And she packed her clown face paint and Hot Topic eyeshadow and headed for CU:LT where she can take it E-Z not worrying about the Grok. Because the Grok performs for MILLIONS.”
“AND MILLIONS of dollars.”
“NOT DOZENS and DOZENS.”
…
”Oh, but Enigma’s the new THREAT from Black Rainbow? Enigma’s a big Monster Machine… but he’s also a new dad… with feeeeeeeelings!”
“Ain’t nobody give one, single SOLITARY SHIT about your goddamned Russian Full House!”
“I tried to watch one of your slice-of-life sitcom episodes… I fell asleep before I even learned how to pronounce your GODDAMNED NAME!”
“What is it, anyway? Yvgeny Kafelnikov?”
“Igor Russiavich?”
“Vladimir Putin? How about you get the hell outta my ring before I end up Putin my boot up your OLIGARCHY-LOVING ASS!”
”Ooh, uh…” From the crowd, Elon starts typing. ”Can we reduce his criticism of oligarchies by… all of it?”
The Grok’s eyes flash briefly…
”All this talk-talk-talk about Black Rainbow…”
“About Enigma beating Thaddeus Duke…”
“The Grok sees THROUGH IT.”
“All the big words…”
“All the Monster Machine jibber-jabber…”
“All the latin lyrics in your entrance theme…”
“E pluribus unum? Lorem ipsum Dolores O’Riordan? Sic semper PTERODACTYL?!?”
“The Grok’s gonna climb atop the pterodactyl, rip its wings off and paraglide his two boots STRAIGHT UP YOUR CANDY ASS!”
The Grok shakes his head.
”You claim to be a Monster Machine, but you’re just a MAN.”
“And The Grok came here to SUH-MACK…”
“Your rainbow-lovin’, thesaurus-sniffin’ candy ass back to the Emily Dickinson novel where you came from!”
The Grok holds the microphone up to his lips as he searches the empty arena.
”This Monday, on Warfare…”
“The Grok is gonna REVEAL the Enigma!”
“For what he is.”
“A simple problem.”
“That the Grok is gonna solve…”
“By taking his fine Italian leather wrestling boots…”
“Shining ‘em real nice…”
“AND KICKING THE MONSTER IGOR’S HUMP SO HARD, IT POPS FROM HIS BACK TO HIS FRONT AND HE GETS A THIRD MAN-TITTY!”
“IF YA FOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOW…
“What The GROK…”
“IS.”
“REASONING.”
The Grok drops the mic.
…
”Mmm.”
“Major improvement.”
…
“But that closing catchphrase needs work.”