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+--- Thread: The Wrestling Union has Town Halls?!? (/showthread.php?tid=48815)
The Wrestling Union has Town Halls?!? - Mark Flynn - 04-29-2025
| Hall Closet Wrestling Union Headquarters… |
”...Und my brozzer, Gabe und I…” Hans Upp stammers into the microphone… Standing before a line of three dozen aluminum chairs, occupied by enhancement talent, referees, and some lower-tier announcers… ”We cannot schleep! Ze thought of ze Black Rainbow terrifies us to our co-ah!”
Sitting behind a table of a small makeshift stage… is ‘Micheal Graves’...
Beside him is Irwin, Mark Flynn’s #1 fan…
And the pair are flanked on their sides… Miss Furry beside ‘Graves’... And Parkor is Weekend-at-Bernie’s style propped in the chair beside Irwin.
”Psssst. Ir-dawg.” ‘Graves’ mutters out the side of his mouth…
Irwin surreptitiously side-eyes ‘Graves’, while politely smiling and nodding at Hans, describing his nightmares about Black Rainbow…
”How the FUCK long has this been going on?”
”You mean, the Wrestling Union holding Town Hall meetings? Or the Black Rainbow striking fear into the hearts of the XWF Universe?”
…
”...Actually, I was talking about ‘how long have the Upps spoken in German accents?’ We’ve been having Wrestling Union Town Halls?”
”Yessir! It’s part of the Union initiative to let the roster have their voices be heard in The Revolution!” Irwin places his hand over his heart. ”How can we claim to represent the interests of the XWF Universe if they have no platform to state their interests?”
”Ugh…” ‘Graves’ groans. ”What sort of schmuck talks like that?”
…
”*ahem* You did, sir. I was quoting what you said before you told me to organize a regularly-scheduled Union Town Hall.”
”Genuinely, sir… I’m starting to get worried about these missed details. Do you have a fever?”
Irwin rests his hand on the ‘Dark Warrior’ mask’s forehead, gauging its tempera-.
*SMACK* ‘Graves’’ whacks Irwin’s hand away. Irwin painedly shakes the feeling back into it.
”Fine, fine! So the Union has Town Halls… These people got problems! Why the fuck do *I* have to hear about it?!?”
…
Irwin silently points at the table area underneath ‘Graves’...
‘Graves’ looks down…
Before him is a plaque reading…
Micheal Graves, Wrestling Union Co-President…
…
”...Sigh.”
…
‘Graves’ grabs the table microphone.
”Und anozzer thing!”
”Yes, thank you! We’ll take it under consideration!” ‘Graves’ brushes his fingertips, beckoning Upp to sit Down(n).
The German Hans, (who apparently wears lederhosen when he’s not scheduled to compete), sits down beside his twin brother Gabe.
”Great job, Gabe.” Gabe smacks his brother’s arm, in a decidedly non-German accent… While just dressed in a leather jacket and jeans.
…
”...Nope.” ‘Graves’ rapidly blinks, trying to clear the fascinating Upp Brothers from his mind. ”Literally no time to dig into what’s going on there…”
‘Graves’ chokes up on the microphone, digging it under his throat.
”LOOK, LET’S SKIP AHEAD. WHADDYU PEOPLE WANT?”
”We want to be able to work without fearing for our lives!” Billy ‘Bass’ Ackwards calls from the back of the room! ”The Black Rainbow is attacking our roster constantly! Yelena Gorgo tried to end Dominick Strife’s career!”
…
”Oh c’mon…” ‘Graves’ scoffs. ”Like… Black Rainbow… attack you? Some of you don’t even get booked regularly…”
”*ahem*” Irwin coughs, while tapping ‘Graves’’s plaque… reminding him of his role to this community.
As their advocate and voice when they have concerns.
”...Of course, that’s a…*ahem*... valid perspective. Every member of our roster is valuable… And we’ll do what we can to fix it.”
”Will you?” ‘The’ Jessica Anderson stands up from the front-row, wearing movie star sunglasses and pre-frayed jeans, looking very Hollywood. ”Cuz it seems this Union’s more into Vampire issues and fantastical politicking than they are helping REAL wrestlers!”
”WHOA! BIGOTED, MUCH!” ‘Graves’ sneers at Anderson. ”The vampire-oriented accommodations were made because Vita Valenteen, a known vampire, had just rejoined the workforce! It was a concentrated effort to make this place more inclusive to everyone!”
”Ja, und where isch Vita now?”
…
”She’s… currently MIA.”
”So, now! The company fridge is full of blood bags and we don’t even employ a vampire!”
”Well, we have several vampires in the marketing department…”
”I didn’t vote for no DEI ‘inclusivity’ bullshit in my company! Who’s looking out for us REAL wrestlers!”
”I AM!” ‘Graves’ crosses his arms. ”LEST WE FORGET the Union’s biggest accomplishment to-date! INSTANT-REPLAY REVIEW!” ‘Graves’ smacks his hands together, like he just unveiled his trump card. ”No more will bad calls affect the results of matches! Finally, we wrestlers can tru-”
”Um…” Gabe Upp clears his throat. ”That… isn’t a bad system… It’s just…” Gabe gestures at his very-German twin. ”Hans and I don’t frequently lose close matches… We… tend to get blown out early in our matches… but in the back-half!
…
”...Well, Get blown out harder.”
”We’re schtill finding our rhyzhm as a team…”
”...Y’all have been on the roster for THREE YEARS. If y’all have found that ‘rhyzhm’, it probably isn’t getting found.”
”But, that’s sorta my point. The instant-replay review is really helpful… To the upper-echelon talent! The one’s that already compete at the elite level and get all the attention already… But, shouldn’t the Union be looking out for us little guys? Aren’t we valuable?”
There’s a clamoring of support for Gabe Upp’s sentiment.
”...I mean…” ‘Graves’ struggles with the words. ”...Look, y’all ARE valuable. Just… differently so. Black Rainbow is aiming for the top guys! Honestly, y’all are probably safer than anyone!”
”They attacked Tommy Wish! On back-to-back shows!”
”If those Black Rainbow freaks are gonna torment the THUGs, how can any of us be safe?!?”
”And why isn’t this event catered!?!” Calls out Sir Lionel Pennyfarthing!
Panicked murmurs and whispers fill the room! The tension’s at a boiling p-
”SHUDDDDDDDDDDDDUP!”
…
”Okay.”
“I hear ya.”
“The initiative’s I’ve laid out as Union Co-President have been…”
…*deep-inhale*.
”Somewhat… limited in scope. I’ve forgotten that you… talent-enhancers… no! Star-MAKERS! Make up the backbone of this company! The vertebrae upon which our greatest champions may ascend!”
”Please. What can I do to make this right?”
…The jobbers huddle together.
…
Then break-up.
”Get Kieran King to save us!”
…
”...What?”