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more like Texas python - Printable Version

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more like Texas python - The Blue Tango - 11-12-2016

"Holy hot shit in Texas! It's Stone Cold Steve Austin!"

Calypso sneaks up behind Austin and hits him with a running bulldog on the cement floor! Austin bounces back up and gets hit with a really..... REALLY sloppy hurricanranna where Calypso grabs the legs tight for a pin!

"You know, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't super-fucking excited right now. Like, almost hard-on worthy. I mean, I am pinning the Texas Rattlensake, people. More like Texas Python! Right, Steve-O?! ..... And I'm not just going to beat him today, I'm getting my Federweight Title back out of it! Shazam bitches!"

"What brings you to the EX DUB EF anyway, Stone Cold? Was Gabe Reno THAT annoying and awkward that you had to bring your Stunning-ass from that Podcast and out of retirement just to shut him up a little bit? Stir that shit maybe? I like it! Calypso's always about kicking up some dust and spitting on some neighbors."

"I gotta say I'm swallowing a lot of childhood dreams right now doing this. This isn't the way Calypso thought out his moment with Stone Cold Steve Austin. Of course I pictured myself on top of you, but for a much greater prize."

"I can get passed this, though. WE can get passed this. Cuz let's face it Steve-O. You're time is done. The sand in your hourglass is depleted and run out and the XWF is NO place of you. That is, unless, you decide that going for those Tag Team Titles with Calypso would be in your future. I can carry us, Steve-Bro. All the way man. Calypso can go in, do the work, and he can tag you in and BAM! SLAM A COUPLE OF CALYPSO-LIGHTS..... BAM AGAIN!! STUNNERED! HE'S BEEN STUNNERED! BAW GAWD! CALYPSO AND STONE COLD ARE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!"


Calyspo waves his hands majestically while still holding Steve's ankles in his arms and day dreams while he waits for a three count!!!!!

[Image: rcOtanr.png?2]


re:more like Texas python - Steve Austin - 11-12-2016

Stone Cold Steve Austin kicks out

[Image: 900x900px-ll-4fca0178_stone-cold-laugh-o.gif]
WHAT!?!

Quote:I gotta say I'm swallowing
WHAT!?!

Quote:I gotta say I'm swallowing
WHAT!?!

Quote:I gotta say I'm swallowing
WHAT!?!

Quote:I gotta say I'm swallowing
WHAT!?!

WHAT!?!

WHAT!?!

WHAT!?![


Listen here you sorry son ova' bitch, Stone Cold Steve Austin aint got the time to sit around here listenin' to you cryin' and announin' your sexuality to the entire world son, we already knew.

Stone Cold Steve Austin also know'd that he was gunna' stomp the worlds deepest mudhole in Calypso's ass and walk it dry. You wanna' sit there and play with your pecker, and read your stupid little love letter to Stone Cold, and try and weasel your way out of this here plate of ass whipin that he's servin' ya' then this snaggeled mouth, piece of garbage better call the safety pin warriors, get him a cuddle puppy and a college grief consular, cuz Stone Cold is openin' a can, like it or not!

Let Stone cold make a suggestion for you Romeo...

Put that mic down from your stupid mouth
WHAT!?!

Look at me when I'm talkin' to you son
WHAT!?!

Wipe that stupid look off of your face before Stone Cold does it for you
WHAT!?!

Comb your hair up real nice and neat
WHAT!?!

Lay that meth pipe down
WHAT!?!

Cut your wrists
WHAT!?!

Listen to Linkin Park
WHAT!?!

Cut your wrists some more
WHAT!?!

Listen to My Chemical Romance
WHAT!?!

Wipe the tears outta' your eyes
WHAT!?!

I said wipe the tears outta' your eyes
WHAT!?!

Take your boots off
WHAT!?!

Burn your boots
WHAT!?!

Take your socks off
WHAT!?!

Burn your socks
WHAT!?!

Then Stone Cold wants you to walk your sorry penis lovin' ass back to the dumpsters and make yourself at home with the rest of the trash in the X Dubya F

And that's the bottom line, cause Stone Cold said so!

re:more like Texas python - The Blue Tango - 11-12-2016

"Did anyone here Stone Cold turn down Calypso's offer? I didn't! FUCK YEAH!"

Calypso goes to high-five the Texas Rattlesnake, but misses and accidentally falls into a hug! Stone Cold shoves Calypso into a large shelf stacked high with full, open paint cans! Only one falls and cracks Austin in the head rendering him unconscious as the bright purple paint pours all over him!

"NOW WE MATCH!"

Calypso begins jumping for absolute joy!

"Leave it to Stone Cold Steve Austin to take a compliment and turn it into a giant joke. Gay Steve-O? Really? Now don't hurry and become the Texas Homophobic Stereo-type that you are or anything. Christ. Me gay? You're the one that's built a Goddamn dynasty doing ditch work in people's assholes. What? WHAT?! Can you hear me? Is this thing on?"

"You have more recycled garbage coming out of your mouth than a plastic bottled water company. Burn. You think this is the ol' WWE where you prance your drunk ass to the ring, hold up a few middle fingers, spill beer everywhere, stunner a few people, and walk away a champ?! There's like fifty people like you around here and it just doesn't work like that. Why don't you pump it up a few strokes and tell me to SUCK YOUR DICK while you're at it."

"Don't do that. Not like I would anyway. You've already been sued how many times already? Eh. Yeah. Let's stay away from that. Tell ya what. Just hope back up in your pick up truck with your Trump sticker on the bumper, drive your ass back to the Rattlesnake Ranch, have yourself a couple of those shitty Steve-weisers, go hunt some coyotes, and get fucked. You stupid redneck."

"By the way, I added you to FB. Poke."


Calypso feels faint from all the excitement and passes out on top of Austin for the pin.

[Image: 0m9F5Bt.png?1]


re:more like Texas python - Vincent Lane - 11-13-2016

Damn Calypso!

You're getting good at this!

I think Ol' Stone Cold just had a few too many and forgot what was going on. C'est La Vie.




Winner and NEW Federweight Champion - CALYPSO!